Different types of F/FAs?

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Shotha

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I also notice that on some of the gay FA and gainer sites that I frequent, people can be critical of guys that they don't think are fat enough and of their admirers. Some people get turned on by just a little fat and others want a lot of it. There needs to be more acceptance of the range of body types that can be included under the word "fat". Just because a fat person is not the sort of fat person that we find attractive is no reason to pick on them.
 

Shotha

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I like the word "fat" used in place of "beautiful"
This raises a point, which is a big issue for me. Because we all too often find the word "fat" used alongside negative words, I like to give the word a nudge in the opposite direction by using it alongside positive words. I'll say things such as, "I've started dating this really handsome, fat guy." It stops the negative comments, before they even start.
 

Tad

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I was just thinking that when people say fat on here, they’re often thinking of very different body shapes and sizes. Like, I just like all sizes of paunch, even a very small, slight one and don’t like the all over “soft fat” look at all, but some people seem to be the exact opposite. What’s the deal with that? Is it even the same preference/fetish?
I don't think it is the same preference ... but I also don't think most interests/preferences are. I think our attractions are usually quite complex, and we mostly label them with one particular point of attraction or a catch-all phrase, that conceals at least as much as it reveals. It is a bit like saying that you like dogs, there are so many types of dogs, so many ways you can interact with dogs, so many emotions and activities that being with dogs can enable. Any two dog lovers can probably find points in common, but also others on which they'll differ. Or to put it another way, being an FA is a bit liking saying everyone who has ever lived in Pittsburgh for any length of time. They all have one point in common, but that doesn't make them all that much more similar than any other set drawn from the American population.

If our society was not so generally anti-fat, I don't think the label fat-admirer would exist. Because liking fat is considered unusual (if not outright deviant), it kind of makes sense to lump all of those with that same unusual preference under a term because we are a small enough part of the population and we are 'similar enough' that having a term is handy. But I don't think being an FA has really been one thing.
 

Shotha

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I don't think it is the same preference ... but I also don't think most interests/preferences are. I think our attractions are usually quite complex, and we mostly label them with one particular point of attraction or a catch-all phrase, that conceals at least as much as it reveals. It is a bit like saying that you like dogs, there are so many types of dogs, so many ways you can interact with dogs, so many emotions and activities that being with dogs can enable. Any two dog lovers can probably find points in common, but also others on which they'll differ. Or to put it another way, being an FA is a bit liking saying everyone who has ever lived in Pittsburgh for any length of time. They all have one point in common, but that doesn't make them all that much more similar than any other set drawn from the American population.

If our society was not so generally anti-fat, I don't think the label fat-admirer would exist. Because liking fat is considered unusual (if not outright deviant), it kind of makes sense to lump all of those with that same unusual preference under a term because we are a small enough part of the population and we are 'similar enough' that having a term is handy. But I don't think being an FA has really been one thing.
I'd go along with that. We're similar enough and have to deal with the same kinds of societal disapproval. These are good reason to band together in groups for support and social activities but within those groups there is a huge amount of diversity.
 

Jon Blaze

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FA preferences are definitely nuanced. Size and what I perceive as curviness are the biggest factors outside of things like a nice smile etc... I think I'm different than many because while I do find thin women attractive at times it's completely different from my FA side. Stuffing and the idea of them becoming larger doesn't appeal to me unless they cross over into the sort of thicker territory. It's one reason why I generally say I prefer fat women instead of fat.
 

Tad

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On the general topic (but not so much to the original post), I've long felt that there are three broad categories of fat-admiration:
1- on others of the group who you are sexually attracted to
2- on others NOT of the group you are sexually attracted to
3- on yourself

1 is the one most often meant by the term FA, but the other two exist too. From talking with various people around here and similar places over the years, I'm pretty sure that all of these can occur on their own, or in combination with one or both of the others. By way of examples:
- the guy who is attracted to fat women in his age range, but wants to be thin, expects other guys to be thin, and has slightly negative views of fat women outside his age range (1 only)
- the woman who doesn't appreciate her own fat, but who thinks other fat women look great, but is only sexually attracted to thin men (2 only)
- The woman who does appreciate her own fat and who thinks other fat women look great, but is only sexually attracted to thin men (1 and 2)
- the person who very much feels sexier as they are fatter, but has no interest in anyone else's fatness (3 only)
- The guy who likes being fat and feels happiest around other fat guys, but is attracted to thin women (2 and 3)
- The guy who loves being fat and who is sexually attracted to other fat guys, but also thinks women look great fat even if he's not sexually attracted to them (1, 2, and 3)
- The woman who loves being fat and is attracted to fat people of whatever gender (1, 2, and 3)

I tried coining terms for these in the past, but they never caught on, so I gave up on that. But I still think there is value in recognizing these different categories.
 

JackCivelli

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YES!! I too have gotten that! From the 2 men I have told that I'm attracted to fat guys. Apparently to them being I like fat men, means I find every fat man attractive. Which definitely is NOT the case! I absolutely hate having someone who knows I have a fat preference, point out a random fat man that's not my type and ask if I think they're hot, then when I say no (because they are not what I find attractive) it is taken as I don't actually find fat men attractive being I don't find every fat man hot. Which that thought process really doesn't make any sense to me.

I personally found a range of fat bodies attractive (from a decently chubby all over to SSBHM) being size fat distributes on everyone differently which is a beautiful thing, but that being said I have never once in my (young) life found a thin or fit man attractive so I might be a little bit on the picky side as to what I find attractive.
Honestly, that doesn’t make you any pickier than people who only find skinny people attractive 🤷‍♂️
 

Shotha

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On the general topic (but not so much to the original post), I've long felt that there are three broad categories of fat-admiration:
1- on others of the group who you are sexually attracted to
2- on others NOT of the group you are sexually attracted to
3- on yourself

1 is the one most often meant by the term FA, but the other two exist too. From talking with various people around here and similar places over the years, I'm pretty sure that all of these can occur on their own, or in combination with one or both of the others. By way of examples:
- the guy who is attracted to fat women in his age range, but wants to be thin, expects other guys to be thin, and has slightly negative views of fat women outside his age range (1 only)
- the woman who doesn't appreciate her own fat, but who thinks other fat women look great, but is only sexually attracted to thin men (2 only)
- The woman who does appreciate her own fat and who thinks other fat women look great, but is only sexually attracted to thin men (1 and 2)
- the person who very much feels sexier as they are fatter, but has no interest in anyone else's fatness (3 only)
- The guy who likes being fat and feels happiest around other fat guys, but is attracted to thin women (2 and 3)
- The guy who loves being fat and who is sexually attracted to other fat guys, but also thinks women look great fat even if he's not sexually attracted to them (1, 2, and 3)
- The woman who loves being fat and is attracted to fat people of whatever gender (1, 2, and 3)

I tried coining terms for these in the past, but they never caught on, so I gave up on that. But I still think there is value in recognizing these different categories.
Wow! I score 1, 2 and 3.
 

Tad

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Wow! I score 1, 2 and 3.
I'm ... not shocked lol (we do get a mix of types around Dimensions, but it doesn't usually take too many posts before you know, and anyone who has been here for long picks up that there are other mixes than whatever they experience. It is more in the wider world/web that I find FA is often used to just mean the first type.)
 

loopytheone

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For me, I'm all about the softness when it comes to guys. I wanna be able to jiggle and squeeze and squish. I love bellies but I love body types that are in proportion more than anything, I guess. Guys with big thighs, big butts, big arms etc etc. I prefer pear shaped to top heavy. But I love squeezing fat guy's boobs too so, uh, I dunno. I also prefer shorter guys. I'm not into guys that are all belly, they have to have chub everywhere, but being apple shaped/belly heavy is absolutely fine, if that makes sense.

When it comes to girls, again, I like soft. But also I like the round, full body type. I like pear shaped girls with small boobs a lot, but then, I also love girls with big boobs. I like big bellies but again, like with guys, I like it to be with a thick, fat body too.

Think I'm coming to the conclusion that I just like what I like, hah.
 

Shotha

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@Tad i think that’s a really accurate break down.
@Tad

It's also a comprehensive classification, because every F/FA fits somewhere in it.

But what about "cryptopachyphilia" (I just neologized that word.) or closeted fat admiration? It plays a big part in my world. I meet so many gay men, who describe themselves as chasers but not as gainers. I talk with them about whether they have a deep down wish to be fat themselves. They vehemently deny it but when I work on them many finally admit that they want to gain. Some are afraid of doing it but many admit to it and give it a try. There are, of course, those who don't do it. They've always puzzled me. That's something that my mind finds hard to understand. After all, I found fat men to be so beautiful that I just had to be one of them. I suppose that liking fat guys but not wanting to be one is like being heterosexual, i.e. finding the opposite sex attractive without wanting to be one of them.

There must, of course, be "cryptopachyphilia" among heterosexuals, too, because anyone who has not yet plucked up the courage to be open about their fat admiration is engaging in it. I'm fascinated by the secret ones.

I'll have to start keeping some stats on "cryptopachyphilia".
 

Tad

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@Tad

It's also a comprehensive classification, because every F/FA fits somewhere in it.

But what about "cryptopachyphilia" (I just neologized that word.) or closeted fat admiration? It plays a big part in my world. I meet so many gay men, who describe themselves as chasers but not as gainers. I talk with them about whether they have a deep down wish to be fat themselves. They vehemently deny it but when I work on them many finally admit that they want to gain. Some are afraid of doing it but many admit to it and give it a try. There are, of course, those who don't do it. They've always puzzled me. That's something that my mind finds hard to understand. After all, I found fat men to be so beautiful that I just had to be one of them. I suppose that liking fat guys but not wanting to be one is like being heterosexual, i.e. finding the opposite sex attractive without wanting to be one of them.

There must, of course, be "cryptopachyphilia" among heterosexuals, too, because anyone who has not yet plucked up the courage to be open about their fat admiration is engaging in it. I'm fascinated by the secret ones.

I'll have to start keeping some stats on "cryptopachyphilia".
I think there is a second (third?) dimension, where that sort of thing falls in. There are people who flat out deny it, those who mostly deny it but enjoy a little thrill at the forbidden thought occassionally, those who like being sneaky about it and denying it, those who want to do it without wanting attention, those who want attention for it .... I would imagine that the same would be true for many kinks (and possibly for sexual orientation?) but I've not spent any real amount of time in other kink spaces so I don't know.
 

Shotha

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I think there is a second (third?) dimension, where that sort of thing falls in. There are people who flat out deny it, those who mostly deny it but enjoy a little thrill at the forbidden thought occassionally, those who like being sneaky about it and denying it, those who want to do it without wanting attention, those who want attention for it .... I would imagine that the same would be true for many kinks (and possibly for sexual orientation?) but I've not spent any real amount of time in other kink spaces so I don't know.
Yes, that would make sense for both fat admiration and for sexual orientation, as with both of these people are aware of their inclinations without acting on them and then go into practice in secret. I have, however, noticed some differences between the two.

With sexual orientation, many people go on to being open about it. However, in my experience few seek attention for it. Most of us seek the company of other gay, lesbian, or bi people, because it's nice to have the support and to be able to socialize with people, who will identify with the things that you want to talk about, although this tends not to work out well for those of us, who are also F/FA's.

LGB F/FA's generally socialize among themselves in the same way that LGB people do.

Your 3rd category of F/FA's are mainly gainers and they get together in groups and clubs online. We share our weight gaining with each other just like bodybuilders. We compete with each other and brag about how fat we are. We watch each other strive for and achieve our weight gain targets. "I'm fatter than you are." "My belly's bigger than yours."
 

Blockierer

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I think there is a second (third?) dimension, where that sort of thing falls in. There are people who flat out deny it, those who mostly deny it but enjoy a little thrill at the forbidden thought occassionally, those who like being sneaky about it and denying it, those who want to do it without wanting attention, those who want attention for it .... I would imagine that the same would be true for many kinks (and possibly for sexual orientation?) but I've not spent any real amount of time in other kink spaces so I don't know.
I'm one of them who want attention for it ....
I love it when people know that I really like fat women.
 

Ffancy

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The very real social and possible physical consequences of being fat certainly play into people’s denial of their desires. I’m a 1, 2 and 3 on Tad’s scale there. A few years ago I lived my desire to deliberately gain some weight and it was hot! But I reached the limit of where I’m personally comfortable and I have no desire to gain further. I definitely have times when I wish I could go back to where I was before, because I was fat enough to feel sexy then, but exercising was easier and I was still sort of on the cusp of being mainstream attractive and now I’m not - but I don’t wish it hard enough to diet haha.
 
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