Dims member(s?) on Tyra show Monday 3/16 - trainwreck?

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SamanthaNY

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lol! Well don't get me started on patterned blouses... (j/k!)

Ok, one of issues people have complained most vociferously about is her desire to gain to immobility while she has a child. I make no comment about whether I approve of that or not whatsoever. However, the gaining to immobility part of that is clearly a feeder issue, not a patterned blouse issue. People who say you can't be a good parent if you're an immobile feedee (again, I make no comment on my personal view of that) are by extension attacking a facet of feederism. In the same way that saying "you can't be a good parent if you're a smoker" is attacking smoking. Perhaps it's only attacking smoking in certain circumstances, but still.

No - they're not attacking feederism OR smoking, since both of those practices can be practiced responsibly (personal risk aside) by mature and healthy adults. It's the lack of responsibility when making decisions about those practices that people are uncomfortable with.

Take another example... people will go after a drunk driver. Does that mean they're also going after everyone else who drives or enjoys alcohol (independently, of course)? By your logic, that would be a reasonable jump. But it ain't.

Btw, I'm not fighting. I find this discussion to be pleasant and quite useful.
 

Preston

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You know what other board we need?

Early Twenties, Over Six-Foot-Four, Dark Haired Male with Glasses from Wisconsin Board.

You guys just don't get our issues, man.
 

Mathias

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This is not an attack on feederism? I apologise for picking on Troubadours, it was just the first good example I came across. Again, not here to defend feederism necessarily, just to suggest that perhaps there should be a specific place for anti-feederism posts...

We are not anti feeder here. To put it nicely, people think it's selfish and arrogant that C.P will come here and claim that she is a pioneer for everyone on this site when it wasn't even mentioned in the show. Bottom line she can't and won't be a pioneer if she's only going to frequent at a place where everyone agrees with her and doesn't ask questions. There's no need for ANOTHER board either.
 

Tragdor

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You know what other board we need?

Early Twenties, Over Six-Foot-Four, Dark Haired Male with Glasses from Wisconsin Board.

You guys just don't get our issues, man.

I almost get your issues. Maybe if I wore really tall shoes I could relate.
 

KHayes666

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Is throwing a pity party considered a terminal disease now?

Not at all....I'm just saying you can't predict the future, who knows what will happen by 2021.

If you told me 2 years.....hell make it 2 MONTHS ago that Test was going to die in March of 2009 I would have been like "woah, really?"

Besides, with my mouth...I'll be lucky to make it to 2011 like I said.

Nothing to do with pity, everything to do with the future is unpredictable
 

superodalisque

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i haven't read the whole thread because after reading when the initial posts i found it all very tiresome. the finger pointing and hateful speech just made me emotionally sick. i feel so exhausted trying the ring the support banner
i know few will fly. the personal judgements about a person and a family most have never met and children they have never seen made me sad. i've met them and seen though i don't know them as well as i'd like. i found them very positive and happy. i wonder how many other families leave that impression. as for the future who can tell? there are a lot of families who live exactly the way that people think they should live but they are a shambles. others that don't can sometimes be the healthiest and strongest. unless your part of that family is really hard to know exactly how much love people are getting from inside and how much support they getting from the outside. i wonder how many lives would stand up to outside scrutiny from people who only at best half know it? i wonder how many people here ask for lenience and support when it comes to how thier lives are organized? quite a lot. but sometimes i think people forget what they look like from the outside.

its true i have not seen the Tyra show. then again i don't go in for that kind of stuff generally. i know what it is and i leave it there. as a fat person i think it has little to nothing to do with my life at all. i do feel sorry if people watch it and set such stock in it. its sad if they let something like that define them. i don't think every thin person feels that Donna represents all fat people. most of their prejudice is that they think everyone would like to be thin like them and is dieting. i think its kinda a good thing for them to know that there is a whole subculture of people out there who want to be fat and gain on purpose. for most people that idea is totally out of thier realm of possibility. it might make someone think or start a conversation. because its such an interesting concept to people maybe, just possibly, in the future it will encourage film makers, documentarians etc... to bring it to light because of public curiosity--which is not always a bad thing or something to fear.

i do understand how people who are fat can watch it and be pissed off but i feel that every fat person has the right to live thier life as they wish, just like everyone else. i don't feel every fat person represents me, just like not every black person represents me. as far as i know Donna did not set herself up as a representative of dims or size acceptance. if i'm wrong about that i'll be thankful if someone corrects me. Donna is engaged in an alternative lifestyle and represents that. most people think is destructive, like most alternative lifestyles. everyone can surmise what her future and the futures of her children are. the truth is they don't know. its possible it could be a positive experience. but instead all we do is repeat the same steretype that people have about fat people in general. thats something which i often find ironic, since it happens on dims a lot. you can't be healthy. you are going to die. you are going to be a bad parent. your spouse can't possibly love you he is just using you for something. sometimes i wonder if most of the awful things that fat people suffer are brought on by all of the negative thoughts they feel they have to fend off. i wonder if all of that negative energy doesn't find its way through the air and depress people and keep them from being who they really are. i wonder if it makes them wait to go to the doctor because instead of being sick they feel they are just showing the symptoms of getting fat? i often wonder if it would make a difference in a fat person's health and longevity if people didn't put those beliefs on thier shoulders. i wonder what would happen if we thought everything could work out fine until we saw signs otherwise. would our relationships thrive? would our children fare better? would our health be less likely to fail?

i don't believe anyone's opinion on the thread so far is invalid. what is invalid is how hateful negative and unfeeling some of the things are that have been said. i'm looking through the entire thread and hoping some people are wishing Donna well even if they disagree. it would be nice to see offers of help etc...if needed. i know that would be asking many people too much. but thats called love. even when we make decisions that other people feel are wrong but they still try thier best for us thats love. i'm just glad i don't have to be a perfect ideal to get the love of my friends, family and community where i live who understand me--and some that don't. i just wonder if Donna could ever count on her community for anything except disaproval, belittlement and abuse?

PS : prejudice makes acceptance into a joke
 

Blackjack

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you don't have to come to the weight board, you know.

8e776207.jpg
 

mossystate

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superodalisque...I did not read all of your post, as it seems that you want to scold people for having such little info...kind of like you and your seeing them happy at a bash or two, which are kind of....happy places. I realize your vision is 20/20, but a few of the rest of us mere mortals are fairly intelligent, and are not just talking out our uptight butts.

I, for one, am going on what Donna has said about her growing up... what she has said about her goals...how she has reacted over reactions to what she has shared. Sometimes, when a person who has had a very hard life, comes out and just wants ' support ' for whatever they do, and they get cheers and pats on the back and help to ' feed ' that past heartache which helps make up who they are in the present...well, where is the beauty and love in that? As much as I hate the life she is more than likely setting up for her kids, and has a an actual plan on how she is going to do it ( JESUS!!)...I also really...truly....feel for Donna. It is not a kindness to continue to enable someone who only has a ' right ' to live whatever life, as long as they are taking innocents with them. I wish somebody could have stuck up for Donna, years ago. I always get sad when I think of the abuse that kids suffer. Now, she is repeating history...a history she has shared, to a degree, with us...and many people want to juuuuuust chalk it up to " hey, it's her life ". Gah.

So, I am glad that the more pleasant aspects about a person whose life is heading for disaster, can be shared at bashes...but, it does not make history stop repeating itself. And I DO want Donna to have support...the loving and give a shit kind.
 

exile in thighville

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i don't think every thin person feels that Donna represents all fat people.

this is not exactly the worry. it's that they look at her and view the idea of fat acceptance - still obscure enough that there is no conventional opinion on it other than lumping it in with fat=bad - as denial. denial of health, quality of life, wanting to do things that thin people take for granted.

donna's portrayal is actively harmful to the cause, because the cause is not well-known enough in mainstream culture outside of freakshow routines like daytime tv, that people already have a shaped view that can detect parody from the genuine article. donna is the living proof of everything that fat-haters believe...that fat people are lazy, careless, selfish, spoiled, and don't care about themselves.

the people on this board vouching that she's a nice, reasonable person should urge her to stay out of the limelight and live her stereotypical caricature of a life the way she wants. without unwittingly and selfishly assisting a worldwide hate-distorted perception that so many of us fight to reverse every day.
 

Prince Dyscord

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Wow, it seems that this thread has brought out the worst in some people.

I agree that CP should be thinking of the whole picture here.

I REALLY wouldn't be surprised, however, if this were all just a play for attention. I would hope that a mother wouldn't be that negligent of their children's needs.

I don't know if I'd say that this is hurting the cause however. I know some people will try to say that every fat person is like this. However, those are the people who would find flaws in fat people anyway.

And to be honest, anyone who looks to a show like TYRA as a measure of how they should think and what's going on in the world is in trouble indeed.

But at the same time, if Donna's husband feels that he can shoulder all the responsibility of raising kids, which would be needed in a situation like this, then that's their choice. We don't have to agree with it. But for us to judge them on it makes us no better than those people who judge us because of our sizes.

My personal opinion, though, is that once children enter the equation, then you think about them more than fantasies.
 

olwen

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Olwen, I agree that kids find a way to deal...whether it is to inflict the same shit on their kids/a stranger/themselves...or the kids might find those people who give a damn and might eventually find a happy life...it's just so damned sad to see it said with such a dismissive wave of the hand. Yeah...blah.

Mossy, I had a....difficult childhood too and I survived. Until CPs kid grows up to tell her own side of the story, there's not much else to say or do. Honestly, that's all the energy and emotion I can muster over the issue.
 

SparkGirl

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I don't know Donna just from the bashes, it's not that 2-dimensional. I prefer to not discuss my personal life online, but I will say that I choose not to "wag my finger" at my friends if I view things differently than they do. I simply state my point of view and they can take from that what they choose. I've found that being confrontational with friends tends to get met with a lot of opposition and hostility and rarely works. Nobody wants to be preached to. Everyone has their own way of doing things...there isn't just one way to get your point across.
So, I am glad that the more pleasant aspects about a person whose life is heading for disaster, can be shared at bashes...but, it does not make history stop repeating itself. And I DO want Donna to have support...the loving and give a shit kind.
 

exile in thighville

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I've found that being confrontational with friends tends to get met with a lot of opposition and hostility and rarely works.

don't know what to tell you. when my friends do something ungodly stupid i wouldn't be their friend if i didn't say so. and vice versa. oh, vice versa.
 

superodalisque

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this is not exactly the worry. it's that they look at her and view the idea of fat acceptance - still obscure enough that there is no conventional opinion on it other than lumping it in with fat=bad - as denial. denial of health, quality of life, wanting to do things that thin people take for granted.

donna's portrayal is actively harmful to the cause, because the cause is not well-known enough in mainstream culture outside of freakshow routines like daytime tv, that people already have a shaped view that can detect parody from the genuine article. donna is the living proof of everything that fat-haters believe...that fat people are lazy, careless, selfish, spoiled, and don't care about themselves.

the people on this board vouching that she's a nice, reasonable person should urge her to stay out of the limelight and live her stereotypical caricature of a life the way she wants. without unwittingly and selfishly assisting a worldwide hate-distorted perception that so many of us fight to reverse every day.


i didn't watch it so i don't know . did she say she represented fat acceptance? and if she did isn't she a part of it as well, though a fringe element so to speak?
 

superodalisque

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superodalisque...I did not read all of your post, as it seems that you want to scold people for having such little info...kind of like you and your seeing them happy at a bash or two, which are kind of....happy places. I realize your vision is 20/20, but a few of the rest of us mere mortals are fairly intelligent, and are not just talking out our uptight butts.

I, for one, am going on what Donna has said about her growing up... what she has said about her goals...how she has reacted over reactions to what she has shared. Sometimes, when a person who has had a very hard life, comes out and just wants ' support ' for whatever they do, and they get cheers and pats on the back and help to ' feed ' that past heartache which helps make up who they are in the present...well, where is the beauty and love in that? As much as I hate the life she is more than likely setting up for her kids, and has a an actual plan on how she is going to do it ( JESUS!!)...I also really...truly....feel for Donna. It is not a kindness to continue to enable someone who only has a ' right ' to live whatever life, as long as they are taking innocents with them. I wish somebody could have stuck up for Donna, years ago. I always get sad when I think of the abuse that kids suffer. Now, she is repeating history...a history she has shared, to a degree, with us...and many people want to juuuuuust chalk it up to " hey, it's her life ". Gah.

So, I am glad that the more pleasant aspects about a person whose life is heading for disaster, can be shared at bashes...but, it does not make history stop repeating itself. And I DO want Donna to have support...the loving and give a shit kind.


yes i understand and appreciate what your saying. its true i don't have all of the info but i have a piece of it that you might not have. that is, i have met her and i recognized her as a human being and not as a figment on a t.v. show. so we both have a piece. there is no question that she is a human being . as for the rest of it we are all just guessing. we have no idea what she'll really do when push comes to shove. but what we do know is none of us has gone through this life without hurting someone on purpose or inadvertantly. its easy to armchair quarterback from across country somewhere, never taking the risk to meet or trust or treat other people with care. even if what is said is very valid and valuable it tends not to change much if its derisive and people just close up their ears to the points you have to make and you create an atmosphere where people don't even feel comfortable or respected when they try to discuss things.

i don't mind if you note my snobbishness and hypocrisy here because i am, and so are you in a way. as a friend of mine said we are very much alike. we have an opinion and we say so and i've said mine and will continue to do that in my awkward uneven and human way.

the only thing being undiplomatic gets you is Iraq
 
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