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HungryGirl

Active Member
Joined
Sep 15, 2017
Messages
25
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, Female
My marriage is over. I guess. Mostly on here I've shared pictures of myself and my husband. I found out last night he was cyber cheating on me. And this isn't the first time. I am in shock. I'm in pain. A part of me is also embarrassed because I've gained some weight and I feel like people will think that's why he cheated on me. Even though he likes my looks and cheated because of his own personal low self esteem. I know it's not even in my top 10 reasons to be worried right now but it does bother me. Have any of you gone through something similar? Currently, I only work part time and the rest of the time I take care of our two daughters. I feel like life is slamming me in the face right now. Like I was already a underpowered pc on regular mode and suddenly the difficulty got turned up to master mode. And everything is on fire.
 

DaveTheBrave

Well-Known Member
Joined
Dec 21, 2007
Messages
180
Location
,
I’m sorry to hear. Don’t focus on what other people think of you—focus on your relationship and family. Weight comes and goes, and obviously some of the weight is actually because of your investment in the relationship.

Has your husband seen a therapist? If he loves you, he better get his head right. He’s got quite a catch in you.
 

happily_married

Happy to be part of Dims!
Joined
Jul 14, 2012
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1,668
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,
That’s awful. I’m sorry to hear it. It’s also too bad for your girls.

Be as strong as you can be both for them and for yourself. Hopefully you have someone you can lean on for support too.
 
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agouderia

Library Girl
Staff member
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Sorry to hear that HungryGirl.

With all due respect for the emotional turmoil - taking care of the practical stuff is crucial right now. Especially if you only work part time and thus most likely are not independent economically. Go see a good lawyer as soon as possible!

Good luck and stay strong!
 

syabloveschub

Active Member
Joined
Sep 12, 2018
Messages
42
Location
Singapore
Stay strong sister! Definitely not easy times for you and the family but as I've seen in my mum in the 8 years since she and my stepdad divorced, she's been an absolute superwoman. I'm sure you'll be strong for them
 

Unbasher

Well-Known Member
Joined
Dec 23, 2018
Messages
421
Location
Germany
Two thoughts come to mind:

Do you still love your husband?

And the other: cheating does not necessarily mean the end of a relationship. It might be because I'm European and there is a growing subculture of open relationships, polyamory and the like, even among couples with children. Of course that's not for everyone, and I'm not trying to minimize your husband's betrayal. I'm at this point in my marriage, though, where I thoroughly question the concept of monogamy. My husband and I love each other but each of us has needs the other person can't fulfill, so we've decided to give each other more freedom. It's an experiment, but we have to try.
I'm just trying to give you some hope that not all might be over. Talk. Be totally honest. No taboo topics.
I wish you all the best.
 

Unbasher

Well-Known Member
Joined
Dec 23, 2018
Messages
421
Location
Germany
Two thoughts come to mind:

Do you still love your husband?

And the other: cheating does not necessarily mean the end of a relationship. It might be because I'm European and there is a growing subculture of open relationships, polyamory and the like, even among couples with children. Of course that's not for everyone, and I'm not trying to minimize your husband's betrayal. I'm at this point in my marriage, though, where I thoroughly question the concept of monogamy. My husband and I love each other but each of us has needs the other person can't fulfill, so we've decided to give each other more freedom. It's an experiment, but we have to try.
I'm just trying to give you some hope that not all might be over. Talk. Be totally honest. No taboo topics.
I wish you all the best.
 

Broseph

DM Supporter
Joined
Aug 3, 2019
Messages
95
Location
Germany
Sorry to hear about this. Hope you’re coping with it ok. I don’t really have any experience here (other than being cheated on in HS), so just wanted to register my empathy. Stay strong. This too shall pass.
 

Emmy

something witty..
Joined
May 16, 2019
Messages
186
Location
by chicagoooooo
Im sad to see this. I too am dealing with someone cheating on me. I thought it was only emotional but now I find out it was physical also. he said "i made him so mad one night when i said fine, we were on a break. that he went and diddled his coworker" ... i should be pissed but finding myself sad
 

AmyJo1976

DM Supporter
Joined
Dec 7, 2011
Messages
2,473
Location
USA
Im sad to see this. I too am dealing with someone cheating on me. I thought it was only emotional but now I find out it was physical also. he said "i made him so mad one night when i said fine, we were on a break. that he went and diddled his coworker" ... i should be pissed but finding myself sad
Don't be sad girl, be strong! If he wants to fool around with someone else, he doesn't deserve you. You're beautiful, find someone that will appreciate you and be faithful :)
 

gluttonfan

Member
Joined
Nov 14, 2019
Messages
9
Location
France
Two thoughts come to mind:

Do you still love your husband?

And the other: cheating does not necessarily mean the end of a relationship. It might be because I'm European and there is a growing subculture of open relationships, polyamory and the like, even among couples with children. Of course that's not for everyone, and I'm not trying to minimize your husband's betrayal. I'm at this point in my marriage, though, where I thoroughly question the concept of monogamy. My husband and I love each other but each of us has needs the other person can't fulfill, so we've decided to give each other more freedom. It's an experiment, but we have to try.
I'm just trying to give you some hope that not all might be over. Talk. Be totally honest. No taboo topics.
I wish you all the best.
I can understand what you mean.
Sometimes we need to explore more around us, some thoughts we don't really share with our mate or our lover.
 

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