Divorce

Discussion in 'Daily Living' started by HungryGirl, Oct 10, 2019.

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  1. Oct 10, 2019 #1

    HungryGirl

    HungryGirl

    HungryGirl

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    My marriage is over. I guess. Mostly on here I've shared pictures of myself and my husband. I found out last night he was cyber cheating on me. And this isn't the first time. I am in shock. I'm in pain. A part of me is also embarrassed because I've gained some weight and I feel like people will think that's why he cheated on me. Even though he likes my looks and cheated because of his own personal low self esteem. I know it's not even in my top 10 reasons to be worried right now but it does bother me. Have any of you gone through something similar? Currently, I only work part time and the rest of the time I take care of our two daughters. I feel like life is slamming me in the face right now. Like I was already a underpowered pc on regular mode and suddenly the difficulty got turned up to master mode. And everything is on fire.
     
  2. Oct 10, 2019 #2

    Tad

    Tad

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    mostly harmless

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    The great white north, eh?
    Really feeling for you right now, and wishing you as much strength and serenity as possible.
     
  3. Oct 10, 2019 #3

    DaveTheBrave

    DaveTheBrave

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    I’m sorry to hear. Don’t focus on what other people think of you—focus on your relationship and family. Weight comes and goes, and obviously some of the weight is actually because of your investment in the relationship.

    Has your husband seen a therapist? If he loves you, he better get his head right. He’s got quite a catch in you.
     
    Dr. Feelgood and Tad like this.
  4. Oct 11, 2019 #4

    happily_married

    happily_married

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    That’s awful. I’m sorry to hear it. It’s also too bad for your girls.

    Be as strong as you can be both for them and for yourself. Hopefully you have someone you can lean on for support too.
     
    Tad likes this.
  5. Oct 11, 2019 #5

    agouderia

    agouderia

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    Sorry to hear that HungryGirl.

    With all due respect for the emotional turmoil - taking care of the practical stuff is crucial right now. Especially if you only work part time and thus most likely are not independent economically. Go see a good lawyer as soon as possible!

    Good luck and stay strong!
     
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  6. Oct 11, 2019 #6

    syabloveschub

    syabloveschub

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    Stay strong sister! Definitely not easy times for you and the family but as I've seen in my mum in the 8 years since she and my stepdad divorced, she's been an absolute superwoman. I'm sure you'll be strong for them
     
  7. Oct 13, 2019 #7

    HungryGirl

    HungryGirl

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    Thank you everyone
     
    syabloveschub and DaveTheBrave like this.
  8. Oct 14, 2019 #8

    Unbasher

    Unbasher

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    Two thoughts come to mind:

    Do you still love your husband?

    And the other: cheating does not necessarily mean the end of a relationship. It might be because I'm European and there is a growing subculture of open relationships, polyamory and the like, even among couples with children. Of course that's not for everyone, and I'm not trying to minimize your husband's betrayal. I'm at this point in my marriage, though, where I thoroughly question the concept of monogamy. My husband and I love each other but each of us has needs the other person can't fulfill, so we've decided to give each other more freedom. It's an experiment, but we have to try.
    I'm just trying to give you some hope that not all might be over. Talk. Be totally honest. No taboo topics.
    I wish you all the best.
     
  9. Oct 14, 2019 #9

    Unbasher

    Unbasher

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    Two thoughts come to mind:

    Do you still love your husband?

    And the other: cheating does not necessarily mean the end of a relationship. It might be because I'm European and there is a growing subculture of open relationships, polyamory and the like, even among couples with children. Of course that's not for everyone, and I'm not trying to minimize your husband's betrayal. I'm at this point in my marriage, though, where I thoroughly question the concept of monogamy. My husband and I love each other but each of us has needs the other person can't fulfill, so we've decided to give each other more freedom. It's an experiment, but we have to try.
    I'm just trying to give you some hope that not all might be over. Talk. Be totally honest. No taboo topics.
    I wish you all the best.
     
    DazzlingAnna and gluttonfan like this.
  10. Oct 15, 2019 #10

    Broseph

    Broseph

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    Sorry to hear about this. Hope you’re coping with it ok. I don’t really have any experience here (other than being cheated on in HS), so just wanted to register my empathy. Stay strong. This too shall pass.
     
  11. Oct 29, 2019 #11

    Emmy

    Emmy

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    Im sad to see this. I too am dealing with someone cheating on me. I thought it was only emotional but now I find out it was physical also. he said "i made him so mad one night when i said fine, we were on a break. that he went and diddled his coworker" ... i should be pissed but finding myself sad
     
  12. Oct 30, 2019 #12

    AmyJo1976

    AmyJo1976

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    Don't be sad girl, be strong! If he wants to fool around with someone else, he doesn't deserve you. You're beautiful, find someone that will appreciate you and be faithful :)
     
  13. Nov 14, 2019 #13

    gluttonfan

    gluttonfan

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    I can understand what you mean.
    Sometimes we need to explore more around us, some thoughts we don't really share with our mate or our lover.
     
    DazzlingAnna likes this.

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