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Do BBW's get more of a "bye" than FA's do?

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wrestlingguy

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Someone brought this up to me in a recent conversation. I don't have much of an opinion (yet.....you all know I will at some point), but I'd like to hear some feedback from everyone else.

The scenario that was described is as follows (and it happened in another forum, not here). Essentially, this fellow posted something concerning anal sex with a BBW, and insinuated a "hookup" to do so. While his comments were straightforward, they weren't graphic. He was flamed unmercilessly for his comments.

In the same forum, a BBW model posted in a thread that she'd like to "get with" a very generous sugar daddy kind of guy. Evidently her thread was welcomed with open arms (I suppose there are more sugar daddies than I estimated).

So, my question is, do you feel that BBW's are given more latitude with regard to their posts than FA's are, or do the FA's just say more dumb stuff, so it appears that way?
 

Spanky

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Interesting question, Phil.

I think that with all of the shit BBWs have to deal with OUTSIDE of this forum, they tend to react a little more strongly to some of the ass-hat-ery that comes from any and all posters. Others might view it as being henpecking, moral policing or just plain old ganging up. I think BBWs deserve a pretty damn clean nest more than FAs deserve to hang around smelling it up with stupid comments.

On the other hand, I have seen out and out piling-on of young or inexperienced FAs (and BBWs) who make a comment that may be the wrong side of a debate in a heated 5000 post thread two weeks ago. It is oh so easy to mush up some newbie (and yes, possibly having made an idiotic statement) and send him or her off for good.

Stepping onto the Dims playing field is a little like stepping off the plane into another country where you may speak a little of the language, understand and read a little too. You THINK you know what they are saying, you think they should understand you, but you switch a word here and an descriptor there and WHAM, you are asking the bartender for a vagina with your wheat beer* (true self story :D)

Some need to try nudging the newbs while they are trying to fit in and the newbs should be warned to tread lightly before doing a cannonball into the Dims pool.







*the bartender did NOT deliver :mad: :D
 

LoveBHMS

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I really think it's just a matter of gender/sexual inequality and power.

Women can get away with whistling or catcalls at men because they are inherently perceived as being less powerful and threatening. Women can't rape men. Women are often weaker, or perceived as weaker regarding physical, economic, social, or political strength. To that end, it's harder for women to objectify men due to their actual or perceived lack of power.

Sex is something that men can take from women in any number of ways. A man's economic power can pay an escort or subscribe to a paysite. A man can rape. A man can choose or not choose to date or marry a woman and by doing so offer her social and economic security.

So what i'm saying is, it's not a level playing field so no, the same rules don't and should not apply.
 

Tau

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I really think it's just a matter of gender/sexual inequality and power.

Women can get away with whistling or catcalls at men because they are inherently perceived as being less powerful and threatening. Women can't rape men. Women are often weaker, or perceived as weaker regarding physical, economic, social, or political strength. To that end, it's harder for women to objectify men due to their actual or perceived lack of power.

Sex is something that men can take from women in any number of ways. A man's economic power can pay an escort or subscribe to a paysite. A man can rape. A man can choose or not choose to date or marry a woman and by doing so offer her social and economic security.

So what i'm saying is, it's not a level playing field so no, the same rules don't and should not apply.
What she said ('cept the raping bit!) :D For years I would work myself into absolute knots because of double standards - especially when they worked in my favour. As Love has said though there are certain historical contexts and gender realities that have created the standards and our ways of reacting to each other. I figure as long as it doesn't become harmful - for instance when young boys are raped by female teachers everybody thinks its just fine and said dude is a lucky sob (one of our radio dj's actually said this on air :doh:) - then we live with them.
 

Brenda

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Anal sex is going to be seen as a lot more aggressive than hooking up. I think the examples you used are poor choices to make your assumed point.
 

wrestlingguy

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Anal sex is going to be seen as a lot more aggressive than hooking up. I think the examples you used are poor choices to make your assumed point.
Thanks Brenda, but I wasn't making a point. If you READ my original post, I was asking a question, not expressing an opinion.

I suppose anal sex appears aggressive to some, but to others, "hooking up" in a sugar daddy relationship may be equally offensive, hence the question.

Additionally, I didn't choose these examples, they were put to me by someone, and it got me to thinking more about this topic.
 

joswitch

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o_O ...Wow! Disagreeing with pretty much all of that post by LoveBHMs there.. ..To the OP - do I think there's societal double standard(s)? Yeah probably.. But which way it leans depends on a lot on context who/what/where.. I'd like to see an end to all such sexist double standards.. One especially that bugs me: polyamorous guy=stud.. whereas a girl is referred to as a "sl*t".. Roll on the day when both are neither lauded nor condemned but just accepted for being free loving people.. :)
 

Elfcat

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Could not agree more with Jos on that one. I would add that a true freethinking guy would be doing everything possible to defend women who do as he does. You gotta have your comrades' backs after all.... and not just in the way referred to in the original note. <oh snap>
 

Elfcat

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It doesn't seem like women want to rape men at the same rate as the other way around, but we all know what happened to John Wayne Bobbit when he overplayed his, er, hand.

A man can choose to date or marry a woman based on his money, yes, if he has enough of it. How many times have we heard the archetypal story of the nerd's retort, "I'll be rich one day, then let's see you LJBF me!" There is a culturally enforced male physical ideal as well, and I would say a lot of men who vary much from this would tell you they themselves feel sexually proletarianized. And for those who only manage to scramble to the low rungs of that ladder, maybe they feel that a night here and there of GFE is the best they can hope for. I've been single. I've been widowed, way too young to go without a wife for the rest of my life. There was a period of time after my loss when, after an off night at the club, I felt like I might just bury myself in work and porn, and it was not the best of feelings.

Getting a clip here and there from a paysite is not finding a partner. Neither is paying an escort. Men who think they are buying loyalty from a woman by marrying her are not only doing it for a really crappy reason, but are buying a loyalty that is tenuous at best IF his income keeps coming in. If that lags, the kind of partner who is bought will be seeking elsewhere at a moment's notice.

To casually lump paysite clips and rape so close together would seem to be a conflation of them. As if one is an automatic "gateway drug" to the other. A lot of men do impatient and dumb things, but I think to conflate these with rape is to assume that men who do such things don't care at all about their own clumsiness or the disturbance it causes.
 

kayrae

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I don't think this thread is appropriately placed in the FA/FFA forum. If you're going to talk about BBWs, it shouldn't be placed in a protected forum in which we cannot respond.
 

joswitch

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Lol! I take it some dude is being a pain over in the BBW board (again)? [for the record.. Not that my opinion on it matters.. I totally support it.. And seeing dudes just unable to keep themselves from posting all over it, totally demos as to why it's needed!]
 

vardon_grip

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I don't think this thread is appropriately placed in the FA/FFA forum. If you're going to talk about BBWs, it shouldn't be placed in a protected forum in which we cannot respond.
It didn't stop LoveBHMS, Tau, Brenda or katorade (afaik 3/4 are BBW's) so who is this "we" that you are referring to? Are they not allowed to post a reply to the question and will their posts be removed for breaking a rule? Maybe I don't understand what "protected" really means.
 

Isa

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I don't think this thread is appropriately placed in the FA/FFA forum. If you're going to talk about BBWs, it shouldn't be placed in a protected forum in which we cannot respond.
If this question was posted in the BBW forum then the guys would be given a reminder not to post. Seems that they are damned if they do, damned if they don't.
 

tonynyc

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It didn't stop LoveBHMS, Tau, Brenda or katorade (afaik 3/4 are BBW's) so who is this "we" that you are referring to? Are they not allowed to post a reply to the question and will their posts be removed for breaking a rule? Maybe I don't understand what "protected" really means.
I will now defer to Joe Pesci to answer your questions on "Protected"....



Protected? :confused:
Protected How? :confused:
As in Witness Protection :happy:
 

Tau

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So this thread looks well on its way to being spicy! *grabs popcorn and coke*
 

katorade

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Vardon, I think what Kayrae was referring to is that if this thread turns heated, which most BBW vs. FA threads do, the "protected forum" card will inevitably get pulled. Considering the main topic targets the women just as much as the men, it's a bit biased to be in either of the two forums.
 

Observer

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Nothing posted in this thread thus far is going to be removed. Nor will it be in the future because of the gender of the poster.

From our posted guidelines:

On the Participation of Non FA/FFAs…

The focus of this forum is the discussion of FA/FFA issues, but this in no way precludes participation by interested non-FAs/FFAs. The forum is open for all to view and positive or supportive comments from non-FAs are welcomed. However, as the forum is a protected space for FAs/FFAs, any negative, disruptive or belittling posts will be removed or moderated.
Whether the gender rather than FA/FFA specificity of this particular thread may mean it would be better placed elsewhere is another issue. We always reserve the right to move threads. But posts by BBW's (and BHM's as well) are welcome here, have been commonly recieved here, and will continue to be!

Observer
Moderator
 

KHayes666

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FREE FOR ALL!!

*dives on people and gives them noogies...males, females, don't matter*
 

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