Do y'all get enough sex?

Discussion in 'Fat sexuality' started by LifelongFA, Aug 1, 2018.

  1. Aug 7, 2018 #21

    happily_married

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    I know a few in person so they’re definitely out there. Ironically enough one very fit woman With whom I have a loose acquaintance made some nasty comments about bigger women. Her husband is a big guy and I don’t mean big strong guy either. I asked how me having a plus size wife isn’t ok but her having a plus size husband was. Her explanation? “It’s just different. Men can get away with it, women can’t.”

    :confused::rolleyes:
     
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  2. Aug 7, 2018 #22

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    This doesn’t make any sense, but I know a lot of guys do it. Hell, I did it for years but in the opposite direction: preferring bigger girls but dating smaller ones for appearances sake. If he’s working on evaluating what’s important and what’s not that one thing because maybe he’ll eventually come around. But if he’s hung up on something you’re not, that’s awful. Obviously there’s something there that makes it work, but damn when you can’t look at your partner’s body and see how worthy of adoration she is because she doesn’t fit your physical type...well you’re just missing out on a lot of what a relationship can be!
     
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  3. Aug 7, 2018 #23

    SplendidMarble

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    I don’t disagree with your statement, BEK about bigger men having a hard time finding smaller women who like them, but I’ve seen more big man/smaller woman couples than anything else. It’s like that’s a perfectly fine pairing, but not a big woman/smaller man, and I see it all over - in life and onscreen. Which is a real pain because it’s not showing society that there are many different and unique couples in this world and they don’t HAVE to fit society’s narrow standards.

    Which points to HM’s statements of his friend making a comment about her marriage and how men can get away with it. It’s so frustrating and hopefully that will change over time.

    BEK, I hate that it has been your experience and I hope things keep getting better and better!
     
  4. Aug 7, 2018 #24

    happily_married

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    Spot on.

    I’ve discussed this at great length here. Me and @fuelingfire, who is similar to me insomuch as he’s a lean fit guy who has a plus size girlfriend. Guys like us draw double takes. People question our preferences. People question the paradox of why a fit guy wants to be with a fat woman.

    We like what we like. Not everyone is into bigger girls and that’s fine. Some of us are and we’re perfectly happy for it.

    Society is moving toward accepting everything else, but still struggles with this very basic function of attraction. It’s still ok to make fun of fat women and the men who date them are the very next target on the list. It’s going to take a while to iron that wrinkle out.
     
  5. Aug 8, 2018 #25

    SplendidMarble

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    I know I’ve heard enough times in my life that men must have a low self-esteem and be meek if they are in a relationship with a bigger woman - more so if the difference in their sizes is much further apart. I rarely hear, and I’m really trying to think of an experience I’ve heard/witnessed, people saying a woman must have low self-esteem if she is with a bigger man. It’s more of a “congratulations on landing her” type of attitude.

    Is this something you have experienced often, HM?

    And, BEK, me sharing my experiences is not in anyway to disparage your comments and feelings on this matter. I understand what you are saying and don’t disagree with you.
     
  6. Aug 8, 2018 #26

    BigElectricKat

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    No worries for me SM. In the past, I've had similar experiences. I'm 5'7" and I routinely would date women who were taller. People would often stare or make comments. They either thought I had money (not necessarily the case), that there was something wrong with the gal (definitely not the case), or that I may have had an... um... equipment advantage (could be the case ;)). My point being that whenever there is some sort of size disparity between a couple, people immediately assume that something is wrong (or very right) with one or the other. It's never because that particular guy/gal just likes what the other brings to the table.

    And HM's point is one that is all too often played out in the media. How many movies/tv shows have you seen where the big guy gets the thin, model-like gal?
     
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  7. Aug 8, 2018 #27

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    Yes, I’ve definitely experienced what you’ve described. It’s ironic because if anything the opposite is true of me: I likely think more highly than I truly should! But if you go through some of the stereotypes of men who are in relationships with plus size women, it’s downright comical. I defy most of not all of them, and counter that I am not with a fat woman because I’m not good enough to get anyone else, but because I want to be. Of course I’ve had people point out that I’m a second tier male because I’m not that tall (5’7) and even had people question how well endowed I am, rendering me less appealing to the hot women and therefore doomed to be fodder for the fat ones! You seriously can’t make this stuff up!

    One thing that is a tiny bit true though about me is I am a little meek with my wife. This is by choice though. I like strong and dominant women and she is a self professed control freak. I am the more submissive partner. She isn’t shy about flaunting this in front of others. She weighs over 2-1/2 times what I weigh and that plays right into that “greater the difference the more meek the male” argument. But that dynamic exists only between she and I, I am actually pretty type-A outside our relationship. Within it...I’m basically her property!
     
  8. Aug 8, 2018 #28

    SplendidMarble

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    I was with a guy for a little over 3 years; he’s 5’6” and I’m 6’ and back then I would occasionally wear heels when we went out, and neither of us cared one bit about our height difference. So nice! Nothing stands out to me in terms of anyone making comments, but we shared mutual friends before getting together, and if strangers thought anything (I’m sure they did) it was unbeknownst to us! I’m definitely not blind to the reality of it all.

    I weighed less back then, he’s shorter, but more on the muscular/fit side; I’m sure we would have heard comments had we been more different.

    Height difference is also annoying and not often portrayed in the arts. Ideally having a partner taller than me is nice, and I’ve had partners fall along the line from 5’6” to 6’5”, but if I took men shorter than 6’ out of the equation - well that would just be stupid. Because awesome people are awesome. :)
     
  9. Aug 8, 2018 #29

    BigElectricKat

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    You got that right!!!
     
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  10. Aug 8, 2018 #30

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    @SplendidMarble i dated briefly a plus size AA woman who was over 6’ tall and she also wore heels when we went out. Back then I was even smaller than I am now, about 150 pounds. Not sure what she weighed, but she was big as well as tall. Anyway she dominated me physically.

    Unfortunately she was also super sensitive to the way we looked together in front of black men and other black woman. She seemed to get off on the looks white girls gave us, but she would change course to avoid black men and women noticing us.
     
  11. Aug 8, 2018 #31

    SplendidMarble

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    Hmm, interesting. That’s too bad she felt that way and wasn’t able to
    be comfortable with herself and around others. Hopefully at least some of that has changed!
     
  12. Aug 8, 2018 #32

    Maize

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    My sex life has been all over the map, really, but it probably depends on what you mean by "enough". Definitely less than average, I suspect. I think in 2017 I probably had sex about ten times. However, I've been seeing someone new this year who is much more interested in sex in general, so it's probably come up to once every other week or so lately. For me, that's a LOT, but I know for many people that would be painfully little.
     
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  13. Aug 9, 2018 #33

    happily_married

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    For her sake I hope so too. Ironically when we were alone she’d constantly ask me if I was sure I wanted to be dating a “fat black chick” when she was the one who didn’t like being seen with me. I reminder her I was the one who approached her, and of her behavioral traits in public...didn’t matter. A couple days after we split up we did have a long talk and parted for good on good terms, so there were no hard feelings. I think it would be hilarious if she’s married to a skinny white boy now!

    Good point about “enough” being a relative term. I hope you’re enjoying your new sex life. When you say that’s a lot, is that a good thing for you?
     

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