Thanks for a very nice reply! I had worried I was going to get totally roasted over that post. The current Dimensions crowd really is a decent lot! The 'thing for the step mother' may not be so much a fetish as a 'fantasy'. I don't know but I do know it is showing up a LOT in porn (including in the SSBBW category).The way I understood it, 'paraphilia' is just the medical term for a fetish? :-/
I have no idea about the step-mother. I'm not sure that would be classed as a fetish or how it would work. But paedophiles and necrophiles, bestialists etc. probably could be described as fetishists, but the difference between these and and someone who has a fat fetish or a hair fetish is that their fetishes cannot ever be legally or morally acted upon. Living with this thing (whatever we want to call it) has given me a degree of compassion for people in this sort of situation (and by that I don't include people with these fixations who give in to them and harm children and animals) in that I'm convinced people have no choice in their sexualities/fetishes, and they ought to be entitled to therapy to make sure they don't turn into abusers and to help them come to terms with the fact that they will never be able to fulfil that part of themselves.
Many fetishes aren't illegal, but create hardship in people's lives because they're very difficult or even impossible to fulfil. Fat men of the sort I'm attracted to (I mean fat everywhere, and not just someone with a hard 'beer belly' made from abdominal fat who is average-size elsewhere) are rare where I live For some people, it is more of a preference in a spectrum of sexuality as posts by others here show, but for others they're stuck with an inability to be sexually aroused other than by this one thing.
I absolutely agree with the long life comment. Having watched a couple of relatives deteriorate in old age, I wouldn't want it for myself or anyone I love. And there's an interesting double standard in society's attitude to women being fat and women having children. Not all women are even interested in being mothers and pregnancy can cause serious complications, long-term medical issues, and even death, in a way that's comparable to how being fat can, so why are so many people's attitudes to a woman's personal choice of being fat and the choice of having a child so polarised?
Polyamory I think is a trendy modern word for something that's discreetly been around forever. I probably wouldn't use it myself and would call it having a paramour or 'a bit on the side'. If you've been in a relationship a long time, the sexual element and having fun just being with the other person can wear off, but that doesn't diminish the companionship and stability you both get from it. If you meet someone else you enjoy in that way, seeing the person on the side can be a valid alternative to breaking up your existing relationship. If everyone involved is happy with the arrangement, then it's not hurting anyone else.
As for women choosing to have a child versus being fat, it does not compute for me. While some people actively seek to and in most cases succeed in becoming fat, the vast majority were fat, involuntarily, to begin with. Some of that group might choose to embrace it and intentionally get fatter. That is usually what we see in a place like Dimensions - fatties embracing it and getting fatter. BUT I do not agree you can equate that with the choice whether or not to have a child. Having a child is what most people are intrinsically programmed to do. It is what makes the human species continue, like any other. So it is important, and some people nowadays seem to be too cavalier about it; in my old school opinion. I will tell you one thing: I had one of those epic 'Wal-mart sitings' this past Saturday. There she was the approximately 25-30 year old SSBBW (probably about 400 lb) pushing the shopping cart with 2 small kids in the cart and a guy by her side. Well that just makes me smile inside to see fat people out there living a 'normal' life like the skinnies. Well, he was skinny.
I agree that polyamory seems like just new-speak for 'having someone on the side'. For those who want to do it - yeah have at it if all adults are consenting. BUT what if there are minor children involved??????