ChubbyBubbles
Luke's Mommy
Hi...I have a friend who is struggling in her marriage. She doesn't want to listen to me, so I thought (without mentioning names!) I would post for her. Hopefully after she reads the responses, I can get her to finally listen to me!
Here goes...my friend has been married for many years and although she has a wonderful husband (she really does!), their relationship can get rather violent at times. Both come from very abusive childhoods and have since struggled with acceptance and happiness. She is a ssbbw and he is an FA. From how she describes it, she can get rather moody at times and sometimes provokes an argument. She admits to getting irritated over little things that he does wrong and from there verbally lashes out at him (calling him lazy, irresponsible, a loser, etc.). In turn he responds by hitting, punching, slapping, spitting, and throwing things at her (today he dumped an entire gallon of cold water on her as she sat on the sofa, as well as hit, slapped and pushed her). He also told her that all she is good for is eating since that is all she wants to do. He can be verbally abusive as well. The thing is, my friend told me that he isn't like this at all unless she provokes a fight with him, which is why she feels like it's all her fault and that "she deserves what she gets". She told me "if I can dish it out, I have to be able to take it".
Maybe it's me, but I don't think that a verbally abusive argument (no matter how wrong it is) warrants physical abuse. What bothers me the most is that he blames her and doesn't seem to take responsibility even after they "kiss and make-up". He doesn't take responsibility (hence the "irresponsible" remark) and refuses to seek help for his behavior. She, on the other hand, is seeing a therapist and is at least trying.
Any advice? Please help! I'm at a loss.
Here goes...my friend has been married for many years and although she has a wonderful husband (she really does!), their relationship can get rather violent at times. Both come from very abusive childhoods and have since struggled with acceptance and happiness. She is a ssbbw and he is an FA. From how she describes it, she can get rather moody at times and sometimes provokes an argument. She admits to getting irritated over little things that he does wrong and from there verbally lashes out at him (calling him lazy, irresponsible, a loser, etc.). In turn he responds by hitting, punching, slapping, spitting, and throwing things at her (today he dumped an entire gallon of cold water on her as she sat on the sofa, as well as hit, slapped and pushed her). He also told her that all she is good for is eating since that is all she wants to do. He can be verbally abusive as well. The thing is, my friend told me that he isn't like this at all unless she provokes a fight with him, which is why she feels like it's all her fault and that "she deserves what she gets". She told me "if I can dish it out, I have to be able to take it".
Maybe it's me, but I don't think that a verbally abusive argument (no matter how wrong it is) warrants physical abuse. What bothers me the most is that he blames her and doesn't seem to take responsibility even after they "kiss and make-up". He doesn't take responsibility (hence the "irresponsible" remark) and refuses to seek help for his behavior. She, on the other hand, is seeing a therapist and is at least trying.
Any advice? Please help! I'm at a loss.
