Elves- a poll for haters

Dimensions Magazine

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Which elf annoys you the most?

  • Hermey the Misfit elf

  • Ernie Keebler

  • Legolas

  • Vladimir Putin

  • Those Rice Krispie guys (as one unit)

  • Other-please explain

  • I like elves, so back off P-PLEASE EXPLAIN!

  • You have finally really lost it this time Dr.


Results are only viewable after voting.

Dr. P Marshall

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I don't mean to interrupt the holiday cheer around here, but I have to admit, this is a rough time of year for me because.....honestly, elves piss me off. There, I've said it. I know, I know, they're cute and all, but something about them makes me vaguely hostile. I'm sure it has nothing to do with the fact that I myself am short, small and when I wear my hair up, my ears look somewhat pointed. :rolleyes: Whether or not this hostility stems from deep seated fear of my own origins is beside the point. What is important is that we as a community explore the darker aspects of these tights wearing, gift making, pointy eared weirdos.

So this is a poll for all of us who have "elf issues" this holiday season. And let's be honest, with the success of The Lord of the Rings, the Keebler company's lock on the cookie market and Vladimir Putin's iron fisted grip on the Kremlin, I think we can all agree that they have extended their reach FAR beyond the Christmas season. And this scares me.

Oh, and I realize that there may be some sort of pro-elf movement among the members of our community so I've included an option for you too. But I would like you to please explain yourselves. I am not trying to tear our community apart, I just want to know who each and every one of you are.:p

And in the spirit of giving, I have included an option that once again allows you to anonymously insult me. It's the gift that keeps on giving. Really, I'm way too good to you people. Happy Holidays Dimmers.:D

So, which elf annoys you the most?
 

Santaclear

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We have a real elf problem here in California. The warmish weather and the sun evidently helps them to breed. Schwarzenegger had pledged to get rid of them. He was doing pretty good, and for a while the government was spraying but then PC "activists" :rolleyes: made them call a halt to that.

I voted for the Rice Krispie ones as one Siamese group. Don't think I've seen them (never watch TV) but it sounds pretty cool.
 

mszwebs

For The WIN.
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Technically, I just wanted to vote for Putin.

But, I guess he's annoying in an elvish kind of way, sure.

:)
 

CleverBomb

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Technically, I just wanted to vote for Putin.

But, I guess he's annoying in an elvish kind of way, sure.

:)
Annoying?
Have you never seen him rearing his head over Alaskan airspace?!
I'd be alarmed, were I you.

-Rusty
Elf Elf Baby
 

AC4400CW

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I'm glad you posted this poll. Elves just annoy the shit out of me.

I voted for "other." My 6-year old wanted to watch the new animated "Miser Brothers Christmas" a couple of weeks ago, which featured this precocious elf named Tinsel who worked on a souped-up sleigh and otherwise saved the day. If I ever see his happy little ass in a dark alley, he's DEAD! Dead I say!
 

Dr. P Marshall

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I'm glad you posted this poll. Elves just annoy the shit out of me.

I voted for "other." My 6-year old wanted to watch the new animated "Miser Brothers Christmas" a couple of weeks ago, which featured this precocious elf named Tinsel who worked on a souped-up sleigh and otherwise saved the day. If I ever see his happy little ass in a dark alley, he's DEAD! Dead I say!
It feels good to finally admit it, doesn't it? It's OK, you're safe here.:p
 

stan_der_man

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Honestly Marshall... monkeying with elves is a new low! ;)




I wrote other, but my second choice would be Hermey... Seriously, how the heck would he be able to reach up over a dentist's chair short of climbing a ladder?


...
I voted for "other." My 6-year old wanted to watch the new animated "Miser Brothers Christmas" a couple of weeks ago, which featured this precocious elf named Tinsel who worked on a souped-up sleigh and otherwise saved the day. If I ever see his happy little ass in a dark alley, he's DEAD! Dead I say!
I second what you said AC... reviving the Miser Brothers is another great atrocity being created this holiday season, at least the way they did it... :eek:
 

Timberwolf

Forth?
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My biggest issue about elves is that almost everything in reach is called "elf". Some even mistake fairies for elves... C'mon guys, I know, ignorance is bliss and such, but at some point it's getting really, deeply stupid.
 

Blackjack

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The only kinds of elves that I have issue with are the goddam Nelfs (and Belfs, for that matter) that are played by teenagers on WoW.

Makes me want to break some fingers. Seriously.


Other than that, elves are cool by me. Some are a bit snobbish, a bit condescending, but they're decent folk.

Oh, and those Keebler and Rice Krispies elves? Fuck 'em. They ain't elves. Elves aren't midgets.
 

frankman

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I hear you. Terry Pratchett devoted a whole novel to the hatred of elves, called Lords and Ladies. It's one of the best in the Discworld series.

My personal worst is that machinegun-speed-bow-'n-arrow-know-it-all-nancy-boy Legolas, because he's there the entire year round, not just around X-mas.
 

99Haints

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I hadn't examined my elf animosity before this poll. Sure, I hate Legolas, he seems like the type of prissy bitch who'd look down on other elves for wearing wooden shoes, and the only thing Hermey ever sucessfully assembled was the emo movement.:mad: But I never realized I have this bizarre impulse to punt one like a footbal, or lift them up by their ears until they cry. I don't know where these feeling are coming from. I know how sneaky you doctors are, what are you REALLY studying?
 

Arrhythmia

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I voted "Other" and that "Other" would be Will Ferrel from the movie Elf. Not because I have a thing against elves, but because I just hate Will Ferrel.
 

Dr. P Marshall

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I hadn't examined my elf animosity before this poll. Sure, I hate Legolas, he seems like the type of prissy bitch who'd look down on other elves for wearing wooden shoes, and the only thing Hermey ever sucessfully assembled was the emo movement.:mad: But I never realized I have this bizarre impulse to punt one like a footbal, or lift them up by their ears until they cry. I don't know where these feeling are coming from. I know how sneaky you doctors are, what are you REALLY studying?
I know. It can really sneak up on you. I used to be able to watch Rudolph without incident, but those days are long gone. I think it was The Lord of the Rings that really made it clear to me. So I guess Legolas is my choice too.
 

Littleghost

Oh, Frickenstein.
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Officemax has a site where you can "go elf yourself." I couldn't have phrased it better myself. :p
 

Timberwolf

Forth?
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Funny thing is that these elves aren't elves. Just as BJ said before, elves aren't midgets.
The shortest elf I've ever seen would have been around 5" 10' or so. His nickname was "Shorty"...
 

stan_der_man

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I think I saw on the Fedder thread Elves is dead. :confused:
nah, I saw him in a Piggly Wiggly the other day. He was eating a fried PB&B sandwich and ...

... oh. We're not talking about ELVIS, are we? :doh:
Understandable mistake TJ... You have the singular "elf" the plural "elves" the singular "Elvis" and the plural "Elvi"... I get them confused myself at times.
 
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