Erotic Fetishes

Discussion in 'Fat sexuality' started by Austin093, Apr 9, 2019.

  1. Apr 12, 2019 #21

    loopytheone

    loopytheone

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    Whether or not liking fat people is considered a fetish is something that's been debated a lot over the years.

    For me, I strongly consider it not to be a fetish, but I don't know the right word for it either. Its the same as how being a gay man isn't 'having a fetish for men'.

    [Warning, soap box moment here]

    I think society likes to dehumanise fat people and classing those who find them attractive as 'fetishists' is just another way of doing that. Fetishes are treated by society as abnormal or deviant and the love of a person with a fetish is seen as invalid ("He just has a fat fetish, he doesn't actually love YOU"). So calling FAs fetishist is another way of separating fat people from the rest of society whilst devaluing their worth and the worth of their relationships. As in, FAs aren't 'normal', therefore, no relationship with them can be normal/healthy, it has to be exploitative or shallow in some way. This is the type of thinking that 'others' both fat people and FAs and makes it so much harder to find love, and I absolutely hate it.
     
  2. Apr 12, 2019 #22

    happily_married

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    You speak truth! I’ve been saying this for years!
     
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  3. Apr 12, 2019 #23

    Shotha

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    I think you're right about that. You're talking about what I see as a sociological aspect of the issue. So many people have fetishes, which would not be diagnosed as medical problems, that I think that most people view fetishes as quite a normal part of life. Unfortunately, as you comment, many people use the term fetish as an insult, in order to denigrate, stigmatize and marginalize people, including FA's and fat people. I would imagine that anyone who has ever purchased anything from a sex shop would count as a fetishist. I can understand that some aspects of my sex life are fetishistic but I can't see why FA's are more fetishists than other people. Is it OK for gentlemen to prefer blondes but gentlemen who prefer brunettes are fetishists?

    I'm starting to wonder if there are two kinds of human beings: fetishists and liars.
     
  4. Apr 12, 2019 #24

    BigElectricKat

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    As others have pointed out, there's a difference between fetish and preference. Sometimes people use them interchangeably but technically it is incorrect to do so. A fetish is something you need for sexual gratification (i.e. orgasm). A fetish is a thing or action. You need latex (the feel, the smell) to get off. Your girl (or guy) has to wear leather or you need to be chained up in order to orgasm. Yes, there are foot fetishes but it's what you do with the foot/feet is the fetish part. Whips and chains? Fetish.

    In general terms, a person cannot be a fetish. They are a preference. You may prefer a certain body type, hair color, skin color, height, weight, even gender. That is your preference and you may find that you are aroused more by that preference. But take away your preference - Say that you are blindfolded and your hands are restrained so that you cannot actively explore with your hands (sounds like we're about to tackle another fetish). If all other things were equal, do you think you could achieve orgasm with someone doing all the things that you need/want physically (licking, sucking, stroking, penetrating, kissing, fingering, etc)? If most people are honest, usually the answer is "yes". And if your answer is yes, then you know it's not a fetish, it's a preference.

    So yes, you may want a BBW/SSBBW to smother you with her triple B's (Breasts, butt, belly) or you may love the feel of soft, chunky thighs against your own soft, chunky thighs. But it's not a fetish. It's just that you prefer it. And besides, having a fetish is NOT a bad thing.

    *Now don't get all defensive and say "I must have fat or a fat person". If you masturbate alone you don't need anyone. You may think about it/them but you don't need to have it there which tells you it's more of a preference*
     
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  5. Apr 13, 2019 #25

    Shotha

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    We've heard a number of seemingly different points of view in this thread. I think that the is much truth in all of them, because language is used in different ways by different people. In the beginning, there was the anthropologist's definition of fetish, which is probably of no concern here.

    Then there was the psychologist/psychiatrist's view of the word fetish and this has changed over the years. When I was a student it covered only inanimate objects. This is why I get so perplexed about including body parts or body types. Technically these days the term does include body parts and body types (since DSM-III-R).

    What is probably most important in this thread is the everyday usage. I tend to go with the definition of fetishes, which only includes sexual gratification from inanimate objects. I think that this shows my age, which I'm not ashamed of. Everyday usage is going to vary from one region to another and even from one person to another. These days many people happily admit to having fetishes, which is great, because it enables us to find partners, with whom we can have enjoyable sex. Sometimes the word is used in a derogatory way, e.g. "You only go with fat guys. That's a fetish."

    I have found this thread enlightening. I like the distinction, which BigElecrticKat draws between fetishes and preferences, as it draws the line in the same place, where I think that the distinction between fetishes and other sexual interests lies. I will try to make the distinction between fetishes and preferences from now on. So, my preference is for big-bellied fat guys and my fetish is that the sexual experience is frequently enhanced with padding (inflatable or otherwise).
     
  6. Apr 13, 2019 #26

    DragonFly

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    Just jumping in here to give a sincere thank you to everyone participating in this post! Love the interaction and hearing the different aspects about this reminds me why Dimensions is a great place.
     
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  7. Apr 13, 2019 #27

    Blockierer

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    Preference or Fetish. ? Is fat admiration a preference or a fetish?
    We discussed this a lot in the past.
    Probably it's something between preference and fetish.

    So I propose a new word:
    Prefetish.

    I have a prefetish for fat woman. Do you think that's evil?

    :D:D:D
     
  8. Apr 13, 2019 #28

    happily_married

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    I’ve had this conversation a few times now and agree with those who distinguish between preference and fetish.

    @BigElectricKat gave a pretty solid text book definition of fetish. I think one can have a fetish for fat, but the object becomes fat insomuch as it’s a physical characteristic and not an attraction for the actual person. This is different from a person with a preference, who is more likely to treat that preference as a general guideline with some flexibility built in if the right person comes along. These are both general descriptions.

    I don’t think fetishes are bad or weird, or anything like that. I have a few of my own and wouldn’t judge anyone for his or her fetish. I just think it’s misleading when people dismiss anyone who likes fat girls as having a fat fetish.
     
  9. Apr 13, 2019 #29

    Shotha

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    The notion of fetish is something invented by humans but what it encompasses are just natural phenomena. What we call fetishes seem to be extremely common. Mother nature has a place for all of us in the world with or without fetishes. It's hardly surprising that we enjoy sex in different ways, just as we can enjoy the same film or the same song for different reasons. What we call fetishes (and for that matter what we call preferences) may be intimately linked to our survival as a species in that they are part of our diversity. The most diverse species tend to have the best chances of survival in an ever changing world.
     
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  10. Apr 13, 2019 #30

    op user

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    I am very close to what loopy said.

    I prefer large ladies (the larger the better) who are proud of themselves. Too heavy for furniture, with special consideration on choosing clothes, vehicles or venues to go out, ie not able to shop on most stores, or to avoid some restaurants because the seating is too tight. A side note on that is the lift and carry/squashing trampling. A couple of weeks ago I met a lady friend. She is around 240 only and we both enjoy me cradle lifting her and her squashing me - she ask me to lay on the floor and we both immensely enjoy it.

    Also, I tend to have preference for ladies at the time of the month. I would like to provide a place where ladies can spend that time provided with the supplies and the care they need. The heavier the symptoms the most I like to help. As a matter of fact as much I pay attention to the "before" pictures for slimming ads, I also do so for the ads for menstrual products. And I did enjoy a couple of years ago introducing my then SO to use a tampon as not to miss a day in the beach.

    Not sure if it fits the conversation.
     
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  11. Apr 13, 2019 #31

    Super Fan

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    With a vast majority of FAs the fat preference & or fat fetish is far from the only thing that we find attractive. I am sexually attracted to "the bigger the better" and dated girls over 700 pounds BUT it is not just fat that attracts me for a long-term relationship. I fell in love with a 450-pound girl even though she was far from the fattest girls that I know or have dated. So out of many SSBBWs that I met on line, at dances, or in regular life I find many other qualities besides fat crucial, like personality, accomplishments, commonalities and integrity are all very important to me in a long term love & or marriage relationship.
     
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  12. Apr 14, 2019 #32

    extra_m13

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    classic feeder fantasy i guess. i understand it cannot be permanent because there are some physical limits but to have a girl on a mission trying to get to a particular weight, reasonable and attainable goal, like, 25 pounds in a year, and really go for it, or a week in an... all inclusive hotel, just stuffing, and enjoying it, pure pleasure, fortunately my wife has given me that gift
     
  13. Apr 15, 2019 #33

    J-D

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    Some of my "fetishes" are belly play and button play, I don't look for weight gain per se but definitely would not complain if she did, rough sex and name calling/"shaming" (not to hurt, of course). Stuffing would be up there, especially since I have never tried it with a girl but want to. If you couldn't tell the first time, domination is my thing - although I will say, I do not prefer submissives. I'd rather have a lady that tries to take control herself, that way it is more fun when I take the wheel. And for those times that she ends up taking it...keeps things quaintly dynamic.

    I have no qualms about hitting on a girl that's in the 600's. If I were going for something more long-term, I guess I would shoot for a lady in the 300's. I put this loosely-set limit only because if we are long-term, then we would have kids at some point; the weight she'd gain from both having them and my more-than-likely feeding her could easily shoot her up to 400's, maybe even 500's as years went by. Because I think that 500-530 is a good weight to be both heavy and still able to do stuff (depending on body type, everyone is built different), that's why I say a starting weight of about 300's. This is especially so if she is not going to be a stay at home mom and/or always working on her feet at work for a time. I'm not into immobility, cuz I personally love to go on hikes and walks. I myself can walk for miles - obviously if I were to want my significant other to have this ability while still being more-than-a-little-hefty, I'd be wanting my cake and eating it too. But maybe just able to do some park walks and some reasonable distances would be nice.
     
  14. Apr 16, 2019 #34

    fuelingfire

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    Not sure what category this goes under. It's a mixture of PDA and a confident fat woman. I have only come to realize it in the last few years. I have always been affectionate with my partners in public. My girlfriend is very aware and likes encouraging it. Besides normal hugging and kissing, if we are standing looking at something in a department store, I will put and arm behind her back and subtly rub her fat roll. Sometimes if we are at a bar, while sitting and talking I will briefly turn to her, put a hand on her stomach a rub a few circles with my thumb on it. Sort of how you see a soon to be father do to his pregnant wife/partner. In public she frequently will bump into with her butt/stomach/hips, when she doesn't need to.

    The most overt was the first time we went to a bar after discussing how much I loved getting noticed loving on her. It was a crowded bar. She told me to not move from where I was standing. Then asked the guy on the other side of her a few random questions. As she was doing this, she took one step back so her but was against my crotch. As she was talking to this guy she very slowly started to twist her hips. After a few sentences the guy did seem to notice, but just smiled. She then said thanks to him, and turned back to me to give a long passionate kiss. That was like fireworks exploding.
     
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  15. Apr 17, 2019 at 3:19 PM #35

    Blockierer

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    My preferences/fetishes are:
    • Fat Loving (sexual arousal from fat)
    • Fat Sex (i.e. a sex act that is not intercourse; instead using a partner's fat)
    • Voyeurism (seeking and/or observing larger individuals in public, such as at malls or restaurants)
    • Belly, Breast, Buttocks, and/or Hips (eroticization of female physical attributes)
    • Rejection of Societal Norms (liking larger partners because that is the opposite of expectations)
    • Life and Food (wanting a partner that loves life, and loves food)
    • Flaunting Fat Admiration (demonstrate my love for fat women, i.e. fat women tattooed on my skin)
     
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  16. Apr 18, 2019 at 2:16 AM #36

    jakemcduck

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    I guess I have all the usual feederism fetish kinks, both feeder and feedee. I suppose can write up a fantasy if anybody wants to read one.
     
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  17. Apr 21, 2019 at 10:38 PM #37

    Volt01

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    k my erotic fetish is immobile women who cant reach their undersides like a game of hide and seek.
     

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