I dont know about less Testosterone, but fat does produce excess estrogen in the body.i might just be pulling this out of my ass but i thought that i read somewhere that fat people produce less testosterone, thereby making us less sexually driven.
Having been much smaller (165 lbs) and in great shape once upon a time I can totally see the difference in my sex drive. Back then i was in third gear while now i'm just kind of idling...
it also may have something to do with your self image/esteem. if you dont think that you're attractive you might not, subconsciously, consider yourself worthy of physical intimacy.
Yeah I hear what youre saying. I made this thread because I met a girl saturday and we were together saturday for 4 hours and really really hit it off, but the whole thing was over by Tuesday. lol. Part of it was also I had just started a conscious respite from dating right now so I sorta got my hopes up with this girl.To address the connection to women thing since I think this is the OP's main concern - perhaps you just haven't met the right one yet - I know super cliche but maybe true. Just like friendships - you don't always connect with other people in certain ways and you just haven't met the woman who connects with you in a way that stirs up that whatever it is that makes us want to be with that person.
Now that I am back to seminormal I have realized I should put this spin on it all. These dates are a smart way to find out what I really want in a girl. Not just the physical part, but the whole all around stuff.I'm 10 years older then you and have talked to/dated countless guys but only really have 3 true ex's myself. Some I clicked with right away some it took a bit longer and we had to have a few dates before we decided it wasn't working. The guy I just have had a few dates with we emailed back and forth for months before finally meeting and going out and before we met I wasn't sure about him at all though on a friend level we seemed to have similar interests and then we met and yeah it just.. was comfortable - like we'd known each other for a while - except now its not working because he's working too much and i'm moving and the effort doesn't seem to be there on his part to keep it going .. sigh ... anyways back on topic...
I keep forgetting that there are other foundation laying things I have to do first before the whole dating thing can be built. Right now life is kinda still in shambles. My social circle is well nonexistent, I am having trouble finding a job, the only thing I do have pinned down is school. so I really need to stop because nothing will happen without the other pieces fixed in my opinion.Some people are lucky and meet that person and thats that - others like myself and I guess you have to put yourself out there time and time again in the search. I get frustrated and sad and angry and self-blaming but the best thing is to try and stay positive, put yourself out there to meet new people and to just remember that its other who are missing out on the wonderfulness that is you! Yes at the end of the day you still lack the companionship you crave but you can't find that by giving up either
Yeah I need to do that hobby thing. Ive joined a few things, but ultimately they are falling by the way side because my views are changing. lol. Like I said I think Im gonna look at this whole thing differently.Perhaps you need to join an activity or hobby club or something so you are meeting women who align more with your interests this gives something to click on automatically and you can grow from there.
Maybe sit down and think about all the girls you have dated - is there one specific thing that you can identify that turns you off, or maybe you can identify things about a girl that turns you on to them - i'm not talking physical things here but mental things, personality traits, interests etc. When you can narrow down some things that you find really compliment you and what you want you can start to search to date people who fit that. (I'm not saying that you haven't done this already but if you haven't try it)
Another thing.. there is absolutely nothing wrong with having needs and wants when it comes to a partner. A friend of mine said I was being picky when I only wanted to date people who fit certain things I've decided I wanted in a partner. I say.. screw that.. I know who I am and what I want and why would I date someone who didn't fit that.
I have come to the conclusion its something I need to keep to myself for a while. I was using to explain my lack of parts of my life like friends and job and such, but its been a year. Its past its usefulness.also side note - be honest - the cancer thing.. you'll know when the time is right.. I mean sometimes conversation just dictates it.. I don't think its something that you necessarily need to disclose on the first date unless it is something that affects your everyday health or something like that. Its not like its an STD that if your gonna hook up the partner HAS to know about it. I would say any kind of condition unless contagious or life threatening currently doesn't need to be "bombed" into conversation - just let it come up naturally as the getting to know you part happens.