Ever had physical attraction cloud your judgement?

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HDANGEL15

GREATFUL
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I feel like I've done this in all my relationships with BHMs. My BHM and I aren't really on speaking/hanging out/touching at all terms. We got in a huge fight on Monday, and although its not all my fault (he has other problems in his life).

My problem is a) I become too physical right in the beginning of a relationship. and b) I ignore problems, because we can just have sex. Sex takes place of conversations, issues get swept under the rug, and I realize in hindsight that I had nothing in common with that person. I worry about it. I love my partner dearly, and although I continue on with my life and do things that make me happy, its still in the back of my mind.

I realize its my problem, and that I am pulled in wayy too fast by physical attraction. What can I say? You BHMs are so lucious.

This isnt really a looking for advice problem. I know all I can do is work on things from a distance and do my own thing for a while. I just need someone to commiserate, if you've ever had this problem.

been there done that a few times, I refer to it as *LUST BLINDNESS*
 

KnottyOne

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I'm the first person to admit that I am shallow, so yes, many many many times for me. It doesn't necessarily happen far into the relationship but more at the start, because of my "no sex by the 2nd date no 3rd date" rule, I tend to let the physical dictate everything else. If the sex is good I tend to ignore all of the character issues and try to make it work, leading to fights, disdain and just overall bad times. Of course, ya know... sex fixes all of it for a few hours at a time. So yea, totally feel you on this, as long as you desire a body you can never fully understand the soul
 

escapist

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... If the sex is good I tend to ignore all of the character issues and try to make it work, leading to fights, disdain and just overall bad times. Of course, ya know... sex fixes all of it for a few hours at a time.
lol I had a girl who wanted to fight and wanted me to focus on the issues so she refused to have sex because she knew if she did, I would just let it all go. Looking back it was pretty funny...cause well lets just say I let go all the time lol!
 

Bellyjeansgirl

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Completely. There's an ex I'm still hung up over. Biggest jerk ever, but he's so gorgeous.

If only he had a heart to go along with that ass and those shoulders and the perfectness of his tummy and his skin tone and how he was soft but firm *babbles* *mind goes off to drool over his perfect body*


I kick myself for still wanting to rape him even though I shouldn't like him at all, but what's the remedy to that? Finding someone even more gorgeous? How skin deep.

I actually did find someone else I liked. Unfortunately, that BHM didn't like me back. Improvement though :) One step at a time.
 

likeitmatters

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I let my physcial lust over power my sense of right and wrong...All my friends are platonic friends only...anyone I ever tricked with when I was a young adult I would never associate with them because we had nothing in common except sex. and now, I would never have friends with benefits or tricks just to feel good..I have a partner now so I can have my fun when ever.

I also can count on one hand how many men I have been with in 10 years and I wonder how many can count on their fingers and say the same thing?

It would be interesting to see....


:bow:
 

extra_fat_guy

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Yes I have. I let it happen with my ex. Hopefully I don't let that happen again. Who am I kidding I am sure it will happen again. lol. :doh:
 

escapist

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lol. He's after some girl out of his league. She's totally anti-softness. In translation, he's happy being alone. :doh:
I think I dated her too. Wasn't very fun, the kind of person who makes you feel like dirt if you don't go to the gym every day. I'm so glad I grew up and realized that if someone doesn't like me exactly as I am there is no point in even trying! :D

I just think its funny when its the girl who doesn't even see my perspective :p
 

Olga_NYC

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It definitely happened with my boyfriend teh psychopath. He's got huge mental problems but I like him :wubu:

On a serious note, and if you really want to save the relationship, have you considered counseling for couples? If you think you're having a hard time communicating.

I used to have a hard time talking to my mom about some issues and therapy together really helped.
 

ogie

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i think that ive developed a pretty good system with dealing with issues like this. If i meet a girl that im sexually attracted to usually i know within an hour or so whether or not i could see myself in a relationship with her. If i think i can i try to play it safe, take it slow and easy as not to chase them off.

If i think that a relationship is out of the question then it's the full court press, if they bite great, some well needed sack time. If not oh well. Now if an existing relationship goes tits up, and i can sense the end is near, i detach myself emotionally and just treat it as a physical relationship.

Take note that this switching off your emotions probably isn't as easy for most people. But thankfully i grew up around enough emotional absent people and had enough fucked up relationships to basically turn myself into a robot lol.
 

shhtx1970

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I am sad :( I do not get much attention. I admit I am attracted to physical but once I get to know the person, their personality is the clincher of whether or not I will invest time in the relationship. I guess I am a sad old fashion type of romantic guy. I like the whole package versus some parts. But I guess I am outdated anyways :really sad:, its time for the new breed.
 
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It hasn't clouded my judgment but I have used people for sexual purposes only and that gets messy if they want more.
 
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