FA, Fetishes and Judgement

Discussion in 'Fat Intimacy' started by Jimevil2000, Aug 22, 2019.

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  1. Dec 4, 2019 #41

    Shotha

    Shotha

    Shotha

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    I don't like to call my attraction to fat men a fetish. I encounter people, who insist that it is a fetish, because I'm not attracted to slim guys. I have a question about this. If being attracted exclusively to fat people is a fetish, why is an exclusive attraction to slim people not a fetish? The fact that fat admirers seem to be in the minority, does not change the quality of their love in any way and does not invalidate it. Love is love and in a world, where so many terrible things happen, we should cherish it, wherever we find it.
     
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  2. Dec 4, 2019 #42

    happily_married

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    You and I, my friend, have a very similar view on this. Biggest difference is I’m not attracted to men, but the concept is still there. I don’t consider my preference for fat women to be a fetish at all. It’s just a natural preference.

    I do think fat fetishes exist, but what I have isn’t a fat fetish. I don’t think fetishes have staying power. It would be hard, maybe impossible, to build a long lasting relationship around a fetish, unless it has grown into an obsession (that’s unhealthy). But a natural preference is different. It’s the difference between “I love fat women” and “I love women who are fat.”

    I always struggle to express this, so I hope this makes sense.
     
  3. Dec 4, 2019 #43

    Shotha

    Shotha

    Shotha

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    I think I know what you mean and agree, and so I'm only trying to qualify the point.

    There is a difference between the everyday usage of the word "fetish" and the medical usage of the term. I tend to go with the medical usage, which I think is becoming more widely accepted, but I still use the word with its everyday meaning. A psychiatrist would only make a diagnosis of fetishism, where a person is so obsessed with the attractive feature that it impairs there normal functioning in some way, such as preventing a full relationship from developing.

    I'm attracted to big-bellied men. On dating sites, I see thousands of photos of disembodied bellies and they do nothing for me, because I'm attracted to men with big bellies rather than the big bellies themselves. I, therefore, would not regard myself as having a medical fetish for big bellies but in everyday parlance might say that "I have a fetish for big bellies", meaning nothing more than that I find a big belly and attractive feature. A friend at university once confessed to me, "I'm a bit of an arse fetishist." He just meant that he thought that a nice behind on a woman is an attractive feature for him.

    I think that the big difference lies in whether we fall in love with fat people or merely regard them as sex objects. I know that I fall in love with them.
     
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  4. Dec 6, 2019 #44

    fuelingfire

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    Personally, I am asexual when it come to thin women. I can identify thin women that other men would find attractive. Though I don't think my attraction exclusively towards fat women feels like a fetish. But pretty much any woman with a belly could make me do a double take. I have treated all of my partners with the same respect any decent person would.

    I have some coworker/friends who are a thin ten out of ten women, in the looks department. I know this sounds weird, but they are so good looking it seems pleasant to look at their faces. But it's 100% not sexual, it's more like fascinating. I have been like this my whole life. To me it's not blonde or brunette.
     
    Last edited: Dec 6, 2019
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  5. Dec 6, 2019 #45

    SSBHM

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    Gonna add, I find lots of people and things beautiful, but for some reason fatness and roundness are all that is sensual to me.
     
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  6. Dec 6, 2019 #46

    happily_married

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    I make the difference between attraction and sexual attraction. That is, seeing a fit, thin woman and thinking she’s pretty but not having any interest sexually, but seeing a bigger woman and being sexually attracted. To put it crudely: I may think both are pretty but one gets me hard, the other doesn’t.
     
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