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samster

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FACEBOOK FEUD

What happens when you accidently press send on a FB message?

Cathy Capello rolled her ten year old Dodge mini van to a stop in the Bank of Texas parking lot. She’d just attempted take $100 out at the drive thru ATM and been rejected. Which didn't all together surprise Cathy. Recently divorced she was broke and had maxed out her over draft. She transferred $500 from her small business, Cathy’s Flower World, to her checking account but it clearly hadn’t landed. That meant she’d have to go into the bank.

Opening the mini vans door she stepped out on the asphalt and scanned the bank parking lot. She looked at the vehicles parked in the employee parking spaces. A small bank branch and there were only three vehicles; Debbie Hill’s blinged up black Cadillac Escalade, an older red Chevy Malibu and the branch manager Veronica Ryder-Vincent’s Jeep Grand Cherokee. Cathy ground her teeth. Debbie and Veronica pissed her off. Normally she avoided dealing with them but she had to pay her car title loan today or she was going to get another late payment surcharge. So she needed the cash.

Stepping into the bank Cathy did a quick inventory. It was quiet. Debbie Hill sat on her fat ass behind the counter with a younger girl sat next to her. Cathy didn’t know the girl but she guessed she was the driver of the Malibu. The girl’s name badge declared her name to be Emily Rogers. She was in her early twenties, cute and starting to soften up. Presumably Veronica Ryder-Vincent was in the back office twittering around with whatever that prissy, bubble headed bimbo filled her day with doing.

“Hi Cathy, how’s things for ya?” said Debbie with a smile, showing off her crystal white teeth and double chin.

“Hi” replied Cathy “I want to take out $100 from my checking account.”

“Sure thing. Have you got your card?”

“Of course.”

Cathy handed her bank card across. She watched Debbie key the card details into the computer. Even her fingers had got fat and she had long acrylic nails that made her typing slower. Her bloated figure filled her chair and Cathy found it hard to delightful to think that lump of lard had once cheered for the Cowboys.

“How the mighty have fallen” thought Cathy to herself “from cheering in the NFL to fat clerk at Bank of Texas! Hah!!”

At that moment Debbie looked up from her screen.

“Sorry Cathy but your accounts maxed out on its overdraft.”

“But I just transferred $500 from my business account!!” snapped Cathy.

“Ummmm….its not showing on your balance. When did you transfer it?”

“An hour ago.”

“Sometimes it can take up to twenty four hours” said Debbie.

“So you can’t give me my money!”

“Like I said, your account has maxed its overdraft out. If the money lands you sure can take out $100 but I can’t do that right now.”

“What do you mean IF it lands?”

Debbie gulped. A small town and she saw most folk’s checking account status. Some had a surprisingly large amount in their account whilst many lived in their overdrafts, pay check to pay check. She always tried to be nice whatever their situation. She knew Cathy Capello had just gotten divorced and had her financial issues. Just a month back she’d applied for a credit card and been rejected.

“I’m sorry Cathy sugar but I can’t give you cash if you’re maxed out.”

“But…but…”

“Y’all can apply for an overdraft increase if you want?”

“How do I do that?”

“We’ve an application form you can fill in.”

“Where?” snapped Cathy.

“I’ll show ya.”

Hauling herself up from her chair Debbie stepped from behind the counter and wiggle waddled across the bank foyer toward a rack of forms. Dressed for work she wore a pair of tight fitting jeans, boots, a black top and a cashmere cardigan that was tight around her breasts but gave her more room around her middle. Her hair was the usual Jessica Simpson style blonde and she wore her necklace that proudly declared she was “Debbie”.

“Okay, fill this one in” said Debbie, handing over a form.

Cathy didn’t thank her. Instead she watched the blonde butterball waddle back to the counter. Her thighs had grown so thick they rubbed together when she walked and her badonkadonk butt jutted out like a huge mound of jello behind her. Briefly Cathy glanced down at the form. She knew filling it in was a waste of time because her credit was already shot to pieces. Nobody but title loan companies and loan sharks was going to lend her money.

Frustrated she was beginning to stalk out of the bank when Veronica Ryder-Vincent appeared smiling from the back office. Veronica was petite, slender and had a perky, “Mrs Perfect” personality that truly pissed Cathy off. Veronica had moved to Burnett from Dallas several years back when she’d married Chris Ryder. Cathy remembered doing the flowers for the wedding. Rumour around town said that perfect brunette hair wasn’t her own. She was showing fat Debbie her cell phone and the two were laughing about something. Cathy felt her blood boil. Were they laughing at her? Desperately Cathy wanted to scream at the two but she held her tongue. Instead she slammed the form back in the rack and stormed out of the bank, into her mini van and skidded out of the lot.

“Bitches!!!!” she snarled to herself.

Driving back across Burnett toward her small florists she looked down at her Sumsung and logged into Facebook. Strictly speaking Cathy didn’t approve of Facebook. She considered it a waste of time full of silly people posting “motivational” quotes, some bizarre thing called Candy Crush Saga and stupid “selfie” photos. Sure enough the first photo on Cathy’s timeline was a selfie that tagged Debbie Hill and Veronica Ryder-Vincent. Both women looking at the camera flashing their crystal white smiles.

The selfie had been posted originally by Veronica Ryder-Vincent with the caption:

“Hangin’ with my hot Jess Simpson lookalike buddy Debbie Hill!”

ILLUSTRATION: http://fav.me/d79eevs

The selfie already had fourteen likes and six comments from suck ups around town saying how cute they looked. If she’d been honest the two women did look cute. But Cathy had a bitchy and jealous streak. Debbie Hill looked even more bloated than usual and Veronica Ryder-Vincent’s hair looked ridiculous. Both were grown women and, in Cathy’s opinion, shouldn't be posing around like silly, vain high school girls. For a moment Cathy debated making an honest comment. But sense kicked in. Burnett was a small town and Debbie and Veronica were popular. A Facebook feud with them would be social suicide.

Her florist was in Burnett’s town square and Cathy rolled to a stop outside the small shop. She sat in her car and glared at the Facebook selfie. She thought back to Debbie telling her she couldn't have her money and then what she imagined to be Veronica and Debbie laughing at her. Frustration boiling she keyed a response into Facebook.

“Debbie you look like a fat butterball Jessica Simpson – I mean how did you let yourself get THAT fat? I mean didn't you think to diet at some point? Or are you too stupid to do that? I dunno but girl you’re a PORKER!!! You’re also a fuck up. Hard to believe you were once a freaking NFL cheerleader and now your gone to seed working at fucking bank of texas!!!!! How do you live with yourself? Did you spend all the money your boring wind bag husband made back when you were in Dallas and now you actually have to work like the rest of us?

And Veronica that “hair” looks even faker than usual you freak!!! I know the rumors that your not even half real and it is SOOOOOOOOOOO obvious to the whole town. You moved up here from Austin because you married that dumb ass Stu Ryder and think your some kind of fucking corporate big shot because you manage some crappy little bank branch? Screw that B.S!!! All I can think about is your fake as hell hair! Its more obvious than Dolly freaking Parton”

Cathy debated pressing send but held back. To do so would be to cause a Facebook war that in a small town in rural Texas could quickly turn into actual war. Instead she checked her reflection in the rear view mirror and then stuffed the Samsung into the tightly packed glove comportment, opened the door and headed into Cathy’s Flower World.

Unfortunately for Cathy, when she squeezed the glove compartment door shut it clicked the send button. She’d just made a very big mistake.



Working the Bank of Texas, Burnett branch was not demanding. Debbie had worked at the bank for several years and her salary was a nice supplement to the family income. The job was part time and fitted in around her kids football, softball, cheerleading and whatever else activities. She also enjoyed meeting customers, hanging with Veronica and Emily and it sure as heck beat watching TV at home all day. Debbie, like the other employees, spent a lot of her time on Facebook, Twitter, Ebay, Myspace and the like passing their time. Never on the bank internet connection but they all had their smart phones. Debbie was on Ebay, considering bidding on a “as new” Cowboys themed coffee table when Emily gasped. The girl was on Facebook

“Oh my gosh Debbie, you need to read this!”

Taking her colleagues I-phone, Debbie read Cathy Capello’s post. Her jaw dropped. She’d just been called a “porker” for all the world to read on Facebook. She read and re-read the post. She felt her eyes well up. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to work out that Debbie had gotten fat and most people just accepted her but Debbie knew there were some mean people. This was humiliating. She’d progressed from toned and slender cheerleader to plump to seriously overweight. At her last doctors check-up Debbie had been told her BMI was forty one as and she was in the extremely obese category. The doctor had even mentioned a gastric band. That had freaked her out.

The public message was also, deep down, a turn on for the porked up ex-cheerleader. Since as far back as she could remember Debbie had fantasized about what it would like to get fat. Married to Hank she’d let herself get fed and fattened up as she ballooned to her current size. Sometimes the comments stung but she also loved being the center of attention and knew folks around Burnett loved to gossip about the ex NFL cheerleader got fat. Biting her lip Debbie didn’t know whether to burst into tears or have an orgasm.

Then there was shriek followed by tears from the back office. Veronica had just read the post too. Her reaction was entirely distraught. Tears were streaming down her face. She’d moved to her husband’s home town of Burnett after she married and had been fitting in well. The town’s folk seemed to accept and like her. Now this message on Facebook.

“Oh my Gawd…” moaned Veronica.

Emily jumped up to go comfort her boss whilst Debbie followed on. Pausing to look back at the Facebook message Debbie smiled and said softly:

“Cathy hun, that was stupid.”

For her part Cathy Capello had a very quiet afternoon at her florist. Literally nobody walked through the doors, which was worrying with her money troubles. Late afternoon and she walked out to her mini van and looked for her Samsung. At least she could log onto the internet and the remaining hours of the working day. Extracting the cell phone from the Dodge’s crammed full glove compartment she returned to the florists and logged into Facebook. Then she froze.

“Oh shit…”

With disbelief Cathy saw that her supposedly private rant had gone live on Facebook. It had been up there all afternoon. There was now a whole string of posts defending Debbie and Veronica whilst calling her all names under the sun. Cathy read them in horror.

Frantically she keyed in:

“I DID NOT WRITE THIS MY ACCOUNT WAS HACKED!!!!! I’M NOT A WITCH.”

She pressed send. The response was almost instant. Everybody called out her lie.

"B.S.” wrote Vickie Wooton “you’re a mean jealous witch.”

Similar responses followed on. Cathy felt her world spinning. Her business relied on the locals to buy flowers from her. She’d never been the most popular person but she was the only florists in town so she had a business. Now they were all turning on her. Financially she couldn't survive the fallout. The next step would be bankruptcy. Then what?

Five minutes passed as Cathy ran through those scenarios. She was already on the brink financially. Then a post from Debbie Hill appeared on the thread:

“Thank you y’all for being for saying nice stuff. Veronica is really REALLY upset so just all chill. Cathy that was so mean. U need to do the right thing hun.”

Another chill ran through Cathy. She’d become so self absorbed with her problems she hadn’t thought about Debbie and Veronica. For the first time in a long time Cathy looked beyond her own issues. She had been mean. True, she’d never intended to send the message but she’d thought it and had written it all down. She’d over reacted. Truthfully she had no idea what Debbie and Veronica had been laughing about in the bank. She’d just assumed it was her financial train wreck. It could be any number of things.

Guilt now mixed in with the terror.

Cathy looked at the clock on the wall. It was just gone three o’clock. She knew she had to deal with this. Her head spun. What did Debbie mean by “do the right thing”? It had been a long time since Cathy had done that. Then it clicked. She meant an apology. Cathy began to key in an apology to Facebook but then looked around her. She was a florist. All women loved flowers. Frantically Cathy assembled the biggest bouquet she could, loaded it into the mini van and sped off toward the Bank of Texas.

To her horror the parking lot was busy. Late afternoon and less than an hour before closing the bank was at one of its busier times. Cathy debated running but steeled herself. With two giant bouquets in each hand she walked into the bank. There was a hush as she stepped in. All the customers looked her way with icy expression and three women behind the counter glared at her. Veronica looked to be almost in tears, Emily was firing evil eyes at her and Debbie had fixed her with a cool expression.

Stood silently Cathy watched as Debbie finished serving her latest customer, then hauled herself up and wiggle waddled her way over toward Cathy. Watching that waddle Cathy felt guilty. Debbie was very fat and clearly had some problems with her relationship with food.

“I’m sorry Debbie” rushed Cathy “I made you and Veronica these flowers and…”

“Get your ass outside and let talk” huffed Debbie.

Cathy, still holding the flowers, stepped outside. Late February and it was still cool outside. Cathy shivered and followed Debbie away from the bank entrance. Eventually Debbie turned and looked her in the eye.

“What the hell were you thinkin’ posting that crap?” she snapped.

“You an’ Veronica were laughing at me.”

“No we weren't!”

“I saw you after you refused to give me my money…”

“Don’t be stupid. Your overdrawn checking account is hardly big news around here and if there’s no money in your freaking account I can’t give you any” cut in Debbie “Veronica was showing me that Facebook selfie which I thought was kind cute. Before you went crazy.”

“But…”

“So why did you post that crap?”

“It sent by accident. I stuffed my cell in the glove compartment but its must have pushed against something and it must have hit send. I would have never posted that kind of thing.”

“Yeah, but you wrote it” countered Debbie.

“I…ummm…I’m truly sorry about that.”

“I you are” replied Debbie “for all the Facebooks it looks like there might be a lynch mob for ya. Hoyt Calkins is talking about running you out of town.”

“Oh my God.”

“Don’t worry about Hoyt, he’s too dumb and lazy to organize that. But what you wrote was mean.”

“I’m sorry for being mean too. How’s Veronica?”

“She cried half the afternoon. You know your not the only one with issues Cathy.”

“I think I’m going to go broke” groaned Cathy.

Debbie shrugged.

“Been there, done that hun.”

“B.S. Hank owns that dealership on the edge of town and…”

“Hank only owns a small part of the dealership” whispered Debbie.

“Really?”

“Yeah, Hank was like the third string QB for the Cowboys so he made like hundreds of thousands, not millions. Then he got dropped and he was earning nothing and I wasn’t working. We went big time broke. Why the hell did y’all think we moved back here?”

“I thought you moved back here because Hank wanted to be back in his hometown…”

“B.S. We moved back here cos we were broke and needed to put our lives back together. Some folks were mean and laughed at us and some helped us get back on our feet. I think you always laughed at me.”

Cathy gulped.

“I guess I was jealous.”

“So now you want me to help you?”

“Yes” nodded Cathy “I probably don’t deserve it but you can help me. Take the flowers and accept my apology. Please post something on Facebook too. I’ve got to support my kids too and this is gonna ruin me!”

“The flowers are cute” mused Debbie.

“Please.”

Debbie took the flowers.

“Now get your ass outta here and let me think. Veronica is not gonna want to talk with you.”

“Okay” nodded Cathy “will you post something on Facebook…”

“Let me think about it!” snapped Debbie.

At that Cathy returned to her mini van and headed back to the florists. It was still empty. It was like Cathy’s Flower World had become radio active. Nervously she watched Facebook. At 5.30pm a post appeared from Debbie Hill. It had a photo of her flower bouquet attached. Anxiously Cathy read it.

“Flowers from Cathy Capello. Very cute and apology accepted x Please y’all stop the hate posts cos its bad karma. Love, D x”

Moments later another post popped up from Veroncia Ryder-Vincent:

“Flowers beautiful. Nice end to painful day. Much love to all Veronica x.”

Cathy burst into tears. They were tears of relief and gratitude. She’d spent years hating and envying Debbie Hill without ever finding out she was a nice person. All those years wasted. All the other relationships she’d ruined popped up before Cathy. Bitter and twisted had led her to broke and lonely.

The future, she promised herself, would be different.
 

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