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lucca23v2

Curves for miles
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no problem. i was just really confused for a minute. :p

still, i apologize for not realizing that some things just don't translate when the only communication input is written word.

like my comment about not wearing baggy shirts because then people can't admire the delightful curves underneath it...in real life there would be tone of voice, vocal inflection, and facial expression that would make it clear that comments like that are tongue in cheek/silly/teasing/flirtatious and NOT at all reflecting a belief that people should be objectified or actually make their clothing choices based on random strangers' pleasure.

on an internet forum however, it's just written words on a page (which studies have shown the actual content/words used only makes up 7% of a perceived message) and people are left to infer the other 93% which can obviously lead to mis-understandings. :/ I do apologize for not considering that when making my original post.

edited to add, lest anyone think i'm advocating being a designer snob- i am currently wearing a my little pony shirt. :p
Hey! Don't knock MLP.. I loved MLP!!!!!!!!!! Gosh I was such a girly girl.... thank goodness i grew out of that.
 

MrSensible

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I'm sorry - you totally misunderstood what I wrote!

It's stupid to have to quote oneself, but I explicitly wrote that it is not about conforming to what fashion magazines say.

It's about developing an individual sense of dress that you feel comfortable with and that sends the - explicit and implicit - message you want to convey about yourself to your personal environment.

You seem to have acheived that and get the 'non-reactions' you describe - which are in reality positive responses, because they show your personal environment accepts you in your attire.

Everyone you meet in a milli-second automatically comes up with an assessment of the way you look - just as you do with everyone you meet. Dress/attire is only one part of the information you take in during that milli-second, it's also about mood, state of health, origin if it's someone new, etc. etc.
Most of this process happens subconsciously, but that's the way we're wired. Instinctively assess and categorize people whether they belong to our 'group' in the widest sense, could be a potential ally or foe.

None of this is about moral judgement!
They're anthropological patterns that run automatically, they only surface to our conscious level when they happen to contain some information that stands out, might be of importance to us.

Just because the BHM/FFA considers 'fashion' and 'dress' to be dirty words doesn't mean this self-imposed taboo will overrule basic anthropology!
I'm not going to argue the psychology behind it because I'm really not qualified. The main issue I had here was with the post berating someone (or multiple people, it's hard to tell) by saying what they were wearing was a "fashion disaster" simply because you don't care for it. Fashion is subjective. If a guy wants to wear a sweater or baggy pants, why shouldn't he? Same for women. My only point here is that people should wear what they want, and whether you care for the style or not, you should try to respect that, rather than hurling indirect insults at them about it.

As far as my own style goes, I dress the way I dress because I honestly don't put that much thought into fashion. I buy what's easily available to me and practical for my size. That doesn't mean I'm against wearing a Children of Bodom T and a pair of baggy cargo pants when the mood strikes me. I just really don't care that much either way most of the time. I'm not going argue that there are people that put a ton of importance into it, I'm just not one of them and I personally don't understand it. I'll gladly start and pursue a relationship with anyone, regardless of their stylistic choices, as long we hit it off where it truly counts.
 

Amaranthine

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Yeah .... had to realize the hard way that 'fashion' is the dirtiest of all words on the BHM/FFA board.

Will refrain from using it in the future and act out my interest in fashion and dress history somewhere else ..... :goodbye:
See, discussing fashion isn't the problem. Actually, I love that you're posting more on our board, and enjoy hearing more about the person who writes such lovely stories. You have interesting and insightful opinions on a lot of things.

And I do think we're a very tolerant and accepting board. But, here's the thing. Maybe, you know, phrases like "70s hillbilly B-Movie" and "X-mas nightmare" don't really seem all that tolerant. If those comments were posted on the anonymous comments thread, I'm pretty sure I would have had to weed them out, because they're just rather...mean-spirited. So feel free to discuss fashion! But...try to avoid blatantly insulting people?
 

Hozay J Garseeya

Rooder. Crooder. Neuter.
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hozaygarseeya,
Couldn't agree with Paco more. You took exactly what I was thinking and put it into words that would probably have never come out of my mouth.

If I've lost any weight in the past it's been specifically for clothes. Not that I couldn't find clothes that fit before, but I couldn't find clothes that fit that I WANTED to wear. I love what I wear and I'm happy when I do. I wear jeans a graphic tees, but also love my slacks and ties.
 

loopytheone

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I have to say that I am not into fashion at all, for guys or girls. I prefer to dress casual but as far as other people are concerned you look best in what you are comfortable in. I can't think of a time I have seen a BHM and thought that they should dress better or different, it just doesn't register on my radar at all.

That said, I prefer guys that look laid back rather than those who seem to put a ridiculous amount of time into their appearance. I am not someone that cares about my appearance so much so I think I would find it annoying if my guy spent hours getting dressed and fussing over outfits!

If you want to impress me come by my house wearing nothing but boxers, a bowtie and kitty ears. :wubu:
 

Hozay J Garseeya

Rooder. Crooder. Neuter.
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hozaygarseeya,
I have to say that I am not into fashion at all, for guys or girls. I prefer to dress casual but as far as other people are concerned you look best in what you are comfortable in. I can't think of a time I have seen a BHM and thought that they should dress better or different, it just doesn't register on my radar at all.

That said, I prefer guys that look laid back rather than those who seem to put a ridiculous amount of time into their appearance. I am not someone that cares about my appearance so much so I think I would find it annoying if my guy spent hours getting dressed and fussing over outfits!

If you want to impress me come by my house wearing nothing but boxers, a bowtie and kitty ears. :wubu:
Just going to throw this out there, putting on a nice cardigan with some chinos and an oxford shirt does not take hours, literally minutes.

I also think there's a difference between not caring what someone wears, and not noticing when someone puts in an extra minute of effort? I mean, if your fiance wore his boxers and kitty ears I'm sure that would flood your basement, (as you've said it does.) But if he wore a cardigan and some cords with an oxford (even if it doesn't suit his style) I'm sure you'd notice that he spent a couple minutes picking out something "nice," as opposed to said kitty ears or even jeans and a t-shirt.

Not to say he would look better in "nice" clothes, but I'm sure you can at least admit you know what "nice" clothing is or at least what it looks like.
 

terpsichore

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If you want to impress me come by my house wearing nothing but boxers, a bowtie and kitty ears. :wubu:
i can't say i've ever thought about that particular combination before, but now that you put the mental image in my head of a hot guy in kitty ears and boxers...wow. this needs to happen. :smitten:

there was one guy i dated (one of those rare exceptions who were rather slender :p ) , a singer who captured my attention by wearing skirts to rehearsal. very nonchalantly and casually, a plain knee-length H&M-type khaki/cargo skirt with a t-shirt and/or hoodie and flip flops. i didn't know i had a thing for guys in manskirts until then. :)
 

agouderia

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And I do think we're a very tolerant and accepting board. But, here's the thing. Maybe, you know, phrases like "70s hillbilly B-Movie" and "X-mas nightmare" don't really seem all that tolerant. If those comments were posted on the anonymous comments thread, I'm pretty sure I would have had to weed them out, because they're just rather...mean-spirited. So feel free to discuss fashion! But...try to avoid blatantly insulting people?
I'm sincerely sorry if anything I wrote in the fashion context would actually come across as mean-spirited.
Nothing was farther from my intention.

My descriptions where intended as a slightly cartoonish exaggeration, a bit flippant as you can actually read them in many popular fashion critiques (I've done several content analysis' in the field in different countries, so I know what the writing is like).

So it seems I completely underestimated how far apart these different communicative worlds are and how different the mind-set is.

Since discontent, insecurity and frustration with dress issues is voiced here and there on the BHM board, I had hoped/expected that maybe in this rather closed and protected forum there would be room and willingness for some constructive and also fun counselling and experimenting.

I was surprised and taken aback by the how radically the mantra of 'dress doesn't matter, just be comfortable, nobody cares, fashion is superficial evil' is churned through.
Anybody who has ventured into the real working world, especially white-collar and outside of academia/non-profit knows that's a delusion.
Books there are judged first by the cover, only then does content and substance get a chance. And a fat book needs an even better cover to get that chance; that's unfortunately a fact.

Bottom-line is I've come to understand that here everyone is more comfortable with this alternate reality bubble, so I'll respect that and keep out of these issues from now on.
 

Mordecai

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It depends on the company. Some, especially in the tech sector, have no dress code. In fact, dressing up consistently is looked on with some suspicion, but that has much to do with some of the social norms of those involved.

I do agree that a large swath of the working world does fall in line with what you are stating. This is definitely a sore spot with some people, probably due to the messages of fat folks don't care about their looks, stereotypes, and being judged on their appearance by someone who is thinner and has more access to stylish clothing.

Personally, having watched a few of those fashion tv shows where they make the similar, over the top comments on outfits... I find that sort of hyperbole fun within established context. From what I'm gathering, this entire hullabaloo was caused by misunderstood intent, communication of what can be a sensitive issue.

I'm cool with whatever, but, yo, I can't help but think a step back and a few more moments away from the posts will help. I don't like seeing someone feeling that they're unable to voice their thoughts and hope that agouderia will feel comfortable doing so sooner as opposed to later.
 

Amaranthine

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I'm cool with whatever, but, yo, I can't help but think a step back and a few more moments away from the posts will help. I don't like seeing someone feeling that they're unable to voice their thoughts and hope that agouderia will feel comfortable doing so sooner as opposed to later.
I couldn't agree more.

Let's focus on this outfit of yours instead. Spectacular. A fitting model for the rest of the board, though if anyone wanted to zoom out a bit more, I don't think we'd complain.


On the topic of more formal clothing - did anyone have to deal with uniforms in school? Like...I went to both a religious elementary & high school. And I remember distinctly in high school, the authority being SO strict about it because they wanted to foster a sense of pride in appearance and professionalism, and whatever else.

What's the result? I pretty much wear (the classiest possible, mind you) sweatpants/a sweatshirt to lab, and avoid taking my coat off so I can hide the fact that I felt like being as lazy as possible. I really don't think it could have backfired more.
 

Saoirse

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I don't see how I 'flipped out'. And it wasn't their opinion I was 'berating', it was the fact that they went an slagged off a load of pictures of people without their permission. If I went on the main board and started a thread where I went through the pictures that the BBW put on the 'pictures of you living' thread and described each one I didn't like and called them fashion disasters and said that they shouldn't wear that, there would be uproar. I don't see why it is okay to do that to the men that post here just because they are men and we are women.
you flip out a lot with your opinions.
 

lucca23v2

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I couldn't agree more.

Let's focus on this outfit of yours instead. Spectacular. A fitting model for the rest of the board, though if anyone wanted to zoom out a bit more, I don't think we'd complain.


On the topic of more formal clothing - did anyone have to deal with uniforms in school? Like...I went to both a religious elementary & high school. And I remember distinctly in high school, the authority being SO strict about it because they wanted to foster a sense of pride in appearance and professionalism, and whatever else.

What's the result? I pretty much wear (the classiest possible, mind you) sweatpants/a sweatshirt to lab, and avoid taking my coat off so I can hide the fact that I felt like being as lazy as possible. I really don't think it could have backfired more.
I went to public school, but my parents are religious. I was in church alot so I had to dress up. I hate dressing up. It is probably the reason why I hate skirts and dresses. However, that being said, I dress up when I need to. I wear my cute dressed or skirts.. or tight jeans and revealing top when I go out to the club, because I want to be noticed. I want people to say she looks nice, with the inevitable (even for a big girl).

Don't get me wrong, I love my sweats. I wear sweats around the house all weekend and I wear them out to run errands. I do not wear them to go to lunch or dinner or brunch with friends. There are things you have to dress up for.. it is part of life.
 

Paquito

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It's funny, because I think Leo addressed any concerns with this kind of thread immediately:
Actually, this isn't a bad idea ladies, but I would refrain from tearing apart someone else's choices unless they asked for it. Some guys a little touchy about that kind of thing.
I think (and if I'm putting words in anyone's mouth, I'm sorry) that the reason why some people posted defensively in this thread was that the topic was approached poorly. Posters immediately started attacking people's fashion choices without consent. That's just going to leave a bad taste in some people's mouths. Especially because fat people are constantly being judged for their appearance, and it's coming from people who supposedly "admire" you. It just seems to have created a weird dynamic. But that's just my interpretation.

But I don't think this thread is necessarily a bad idea. A bit of constructive criticism (read: constructive criticism, NOT judgment) can't hurt.
 

Saoirse

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Perhaps there would be less butthurt if people talked about what they LIKED, not specifically what makes them hurl.
 

Goreki

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Wear whatever makes you feel comfortable as long as it's clean. How am I supposed to avoid douches wearing Ed Harvey and those ridiculous "OBEY" shirts if I give them hints about camouflage in here?
 

Tad

mostly harmless
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A 'few' thoughts, somewhat randomly thrown together into one post. In other words: GIANT WALL OF TEXT INCOMING, RUN FOR THE HILLS!!!!!!

First, here is my take on the justification for big people being militantly anti-fashion.

Most of the fashion industry conveys the message that if you are at all fat, you’ve already lost the fashion game. Therefore to make it look like you are trying to play that game, if you are fat, can seem foolish; not only can you never win, you can also make yourself look too clueless to know that you can’t win. Like being the uncoordinated kid trying out for the school basketball team. Bad enough to lose, worse to look foolish. So the safest bet then is to avoid the game as much as possible, right? And that means making it clear to all and sundry that you are not playing that game

An extension of that would be that you should never try to get involved with anyone—romantically or even as friends—who expects you to play that game, because on top of all of the above you also end being a disappointment to them, for either not playing or playing and looking the foolish loser. This would argue that you should actually advertise your anti-fashion status all the more strongly in social situations where you might hope to make friends or even a romantic partner. You might miss out on starting something, but in the long run it is safest to only connect with people who can accept you at your most anti-fashion state. Or to put it another way, you aren’t dressing to impress, you are dressing to weed out anyone who would ever expect you to dress to impress.

Second….on the other hand, what Agouderia said about how we present ourselves being a powerful unspoken language is totally true in my experience. This was driven home to me while I was working at my first job, where the dress code was shirt and tie for men, with suits if a customer was visiting. On hot summer days if I was going to walk or bike home, I’d often bring t-shirt and shorts to change into after work. There was a mall somewhat on my way home, that I’d often stop at, to shop for myself, for gifts for my girlfriend, to pick up a cable for my stereo, to grab a sandwich…all sorts of things. The way I was treated varied very much with how I was dressed. It was by far strongest if I was shopping for my girlfriend (had to practically peel saleswomen off if I walked in wearing a suit), but it was even the case at the food court or the electronics store, where the clothes wouldn’t so much signal how much I was apt to spend.

So it feels to me that the anti-fashion stance is a bit of a case of cutting off your nose to spite your face. Like being the uncoordinated kid who, knowing he can’t make the school basketball team then decides that he won’t do any exercise at all, because he’s not good at it.

Third, micro-cultures vary, a LOT. As I said, in my first job the dress code was shirt and tie. Less than ten years later I worked at a company where, on an average day, if I wore a dress shirt to work I’d get teased, being asked “Got a job interview somewhere else today?” or the like. As another example, in university I was in a co-op program where we alternated work and school every four months, meaning you needed a suit for interviews, shirts and ties and dress slacks for work, all of which were expensive-ish clothes that you didn’t want to wear out at school, so on a student budget we all wore cheap t-shirts and jeans, or the like, during school terms—and this was a point of pride in the engineering faculty. To dress casual-fancy, as you might see more often on other campuses, was to break the unwritten code.

In other words, how you dress communicates a lot, but the language varies by micro-culture. Or to put it another way, “dressing to impress” can make you seem like a pretentious git, if you do it in the wrong way in the wrong place.

Fourth, my personal solution is to dress defensively. That is, to figure out the most unremarkable clothing choices for my environment, that I can find in an appropriate fit and budget. Given that about 90% of the trousers I try on sag in a giant “smiley face” across the front (I have too much bum and belly versus not enough hip for most standard cuts, so they don’t fit right) the ‘appropriate fit’ is often the most limiting factor. However I’m not even all that big, and the problem of appropriate fit and budget just get bigger and bigger as, well, the wearer gets bigger and bigger. I’m pretty sure that at some point trying not to stand out becomes much harder than simply choosing in what way you’ll stand out—and doing so in t-shirt and jeans is probably cheaper and more comfortable than doing so in most other things.

Fifth, there is a somewhat legitimate, in my opinion, reason to care about “your tribe.” Specifically, if you are fat, or like fat people, of course you have a selfish interest in how fat people portray themselves. To use a comparison that I probably lean on too much, tattoos would probably be (and especially would have been) more acceptable in broader society if they were not so heavily associated with marginalized groups like bikers, gangsters, and prisoners. When I was growing up, to have a visible tattoo was taken to say not that you thought it was pretty or that you liked body modification, but that you aspired to associate with those groups.

In a society where being fat has associations with poverty, poorer immigrant groups, and ‘hicks’, it probably benefits every fat person and FA when a fat person portrays themselves as successful, well-off, and cultured. The more people see fat people who look that way, the more apt those other associations are to slowly wither away. The problem is that to be that fat person trying to make those statements at the moment invites cognitive dissonance in the viewer, putting the statement the clothes make in conflict with the pre-judgements about fat people. So by doing so you invite attention, and given how uncomfortable cognitive dissonance seems to be for people there is also a good chance that you are specifically inviting negative attention, because you are the source of their discomfort.

In other words, there is a public good in playing the fashion game in an appropriate, careful, strategic, sort of way, but it may be up in the air on whether it is a personal good or not. Does the status you claim by dressing that way get others to treat you better, or does it make you more of a target for anti-fat feelings (or more the point, if it does both, which is the more powerful effect)?

Sixth, as always, there is a teensy-tiny chance that I may have ever so slightly over-thought this issue
 

ODFFA

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On the topic of more formal clothing - did anyone have to deal with uniforms in school? Like...I went to both a religious elementary & high school. And I remember distinctly in high school, the authority being SO strict about it because they wanted to foster a sense of pride in appearance and professionalism, and whatever else.

What's the result? I pretty much wear (the classiest possible, mind you) sweatpants/a sweatshirt to lab, and avoid taking my coat off so I can hide the fact that I felt like being as lazy as possible. I really don't think it could have backfired more.
Ohhhh man, this. This exactly! I don't know of a single school in SA that does not impose the wearing of uniforms. I mean, there are some minor positives to it, but I've never understood how these people managed to believe they were going about fostering those qualities in the best way.

The association of "compulsory 'professional' uniform = being stifled" is the one that sticks. I think high school is a good time to do away with that kind of thing and allow for the exploration of individuality to come out a bit more.... with some structure and supervision to it, of course.

Silver lining: ten years later I still so appreciate being able to decide what I want to wear every day, even within the confines of a dress code.

-----------------
ETA: Back to the more general topic - I can see how a certain way of dressing may come off to someone (from a different micro-culture, perhaps) as 'not even trying.' And then I suppose there's 'trying too hard.'

I care about fashion quite a bit, in the sense that I find it a fascinating form of individual expression, and for the reasons given above. But I'm not inclined to make either of those two assumptions too easily. I don't know why. Not trying to say it's because I'm a saint who never judges people - I do >.< With clothes, I guess, I just have a bit more of a..... relativist approach?
 

MrSensible

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A 'few' thoughts, somewhat randomly thrown together into one post. In other words: GIANT WALL OF TEXT INCOMING, RUN FOR THE HILLS!!!!!!

First, here is my take on the justification for big people being militantly anti-fashion.

Most of the fashion industry conveys the message that if you are at all fat, you&#8217;ve already lost the fashion game. Therefore to make it look like you are trying to play that game, if you are fat, can seem foolish; not only can you never win, you can also make yourself look too clueless to know that you can&#8217;t win. Like being the uncoordinated kid trying out for the school basketball team. Bad enough to lose, worse to look foolish. So the safest bet then is to avoid the game as much as possible, right? And that means making it clear to all and sundry that you are not playing that game

An extension of that would be that you should never try to get involved with anyone&#8212;romantically or even as friends&#8212;who expects you to play that game, because on top of all of the above you also end being a disappointment to them, for either not playing or playing and looking the foolish loser. This would argue that you should actually advertise your anti-fashion status all the more strongly in social situations where you might hope to make friends or even a romantic partner. You might miss out on starting something, but in the long run it is safest to only connect with people who can accept you at your most anti-fashion state. Or to put it another way, you aren&#8217;t dressing to impress, you are dressing to weed out anyone who would ever expect you to dress to impress.

Second&#8230;.on the other hand, what Agouderia said about how we present ourselves being a powerful unspoken language is totally true in my experience. This was driven home to me while I was working at my first job, where the dress code was shirt and tie for men, with suits if a customer was visiting. On hot summer days if I was going to walk or bike home, I&#8217;d often bring t-shirt and shorts to change into after work. There was a mall somewhat on my way home, that I&#8217;d often stop at, to shop for myself, for gifts for my girlfriend, to pick up a cable for my stereo, to grab a sandwich&#8230;all sorts of things. The way I was treated varied very much with how I was dressed. It was by far strongest if I was shopping for my girlfriend (had to practically peel saleswomen off if I walked in wearing a suit), but it was even the case at the food court or the electronics store, where the clothes wouldn&#8217;t so much signal how much I was apt to spend.

So it feels to me that the anti-fashion stance is a bit of a case of cutting off your nose to spite your face. Like being the uncoordinated kid who, knowing he can&#8217;t make the school basketball team then decides that he won&#8217;t do any exercise at all, because he&#8217;s not good at it.

Third, micro-cultures vary, a LOT. As I said, in my first job the dress code was shirt and tie. Less than ten years later I worked at a company where, on an average day, if I wore a dress shirt to work I&#8217;d get teased, being asked &#8220;Got a job interview somewhere else today?&#8221; or the like. As another example, in university I was in a co-op program where we alternated work and school every four months, meaning you needed a suit for interviews, shirts and ties and dress slacks for work, all of which were expensive-ish clothes that you didn&#8217;t want to wear out at school, so on a student budget we all wore cheap t-shirts and jeans, or the like, during school terms&#8212;and this was a point of pride in the engineering faculty. To dress casual-fancy, as you might see more often on other campuses, was to break the unwritten code.

In other words, how you dress communicates a lot, but the language varies by micro-culture. Or to put it another way, &#8220;dressing to impress&#8221; can make you seem like a pretentious git, if you do it in the wrong way in the wrong place.

Fourth, my personal solution is to dress defensively. That is, to figure out the most unremarkable clothing choices for my environment, that I can find in an appropriate fit and budget. Given that about 90% of the trousers I try on sag in a giant &#8220;smiley face&#8221; across the front (I have too much bum and belly versus not enough hip for most standard cuts, so they don&#8217;t fit right) the &#8216;appropriate fit&#8217; is often the most limiting factor. However I&#8217;m not even all that big, and the problem of appropriate fit and budget just get bigger and bigger as, well, the wearer gets bigger and bigger. I&#8217;m pretty sure that at some point trying not to stand out becomes much harder than simply choosing in what way you&#8217;ll stand out&#8212;and doing so in t-shirt and jeans is probably cheaper and more comfortable than doing so in most other things.

Fifth, there is a somewhat legitimate, in my opinion, reason to care about &#8220;your tribe.&#8221; Specifically, if you are fat, or like fat people, of course you have a selfish interest in how fat people portray themselves. To use a comparison that I probably lean on too much, tattoos would probably be (and especially would have been) more acceptable in broader society if they were not so heavily associated with marginalized groups like bikers, gangsters, and prisoners. When I was growing up, to have a visible tattoo was taken to say not that you thought it was pretty or that you liked body modification, but that you aspired to associate with those groups.

In a society where being fat has associations with poverty, poorer immigrant groups, and &#8216;hicks&#8217;, it probably benefits every fat person and FA when a fat person portrays themselves as successful, well-off, and cultured. The more people see fat people who look that way, the more apt those other associations are to slowly wither away. The problem is that to be that fat person trying to make those statements at the moment invites cognitive dissonance in the viewer, putting the statement the clothes make in conflict with the pre-judgements about fat people. So by doing so you invite attention, and given how uncomfortable cognitive dissonance seems to be for people there is also a good chance that you are specifically inviting negative attention, because you are the source of their discomfort.

In other words, there is a public good in playing the fashion game in an appropriate, careful, strategic, sort of way, but it may be up in the air on whether it is a personal good or not. Does the status you claim by dressing that way get others to treat you better, or does it make you more of a target for anti-fat feelings (or more the point, if it does both, which is the more powerful effect)?

Sixth, as always, there is a teensy-tiny chance that I may have ever so slightly over-thought this issue
Assuming that some of this is referring to my posts in the thread, you are definitely over-thinking what I was trying to say. I'm not against fashion itself, I just think people should wear what they want if it's a style that speaks to them. I can't speak for others, but in my case, this is in no way a fat issue. It's just a general "wear what you like" issue. It's really that simple.

Yes, obviously we have obligations in our life that require we follow a certain dress-code but that's a given. My posts were mainly referring to the times that you're free to choose and wear what really fits your style personally. Although honestly, if I had it my way, no one would ever be forced to wear a tie and monkey suit ever again, regardless of the situation, heh. Unless they wanted to, of course.

I just genuinely don't put a whole lot of thought into this I guess. I feel I dress nice, but I do so in a way that feels right to me; I don't research styles in which to get the best response in a given situation, or anything like that. My two best friends dress so differently from me that you'd probably think we were from different circles entirely if you didn't know us, but they're still more similar to me than anyone else I've ever met, otherwise. I also have a long-distance friend who dresses in such an er, for lack of a better word, unorthodox way that you might question if it was even possible to buy some of it in stores. She really makes it work though and she looks great in it. She's also one of the most awesome, creative people I've ever met.

And again, I'm not going to argue that it's not important for many people, I just happen to look at it as one of those "sweating the small stuff" scenarios, personally. I'd much prefer to see people wearing what makes them happy rather than what society tells them makes them look the "best" in a certain situation.
 
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