Quantcast

Fat joke come backs

Dimensions Magazine

Help Support Dimensions Magazine:

SSBBW Katerina

FillOutUrProfileFellas
Joined
Aug 8, 2010
Messages
319
Location
,
.... "I'll be sure to inform your father of your feelings when I'm riding his face as he tongue punches my chocolate starfish and your mom takes the pics for scrapbooking-- AGAIN! Ya dopey jack legged fool. Get bent, get laid and get lost."
:D
 

danielson123

Seasick Sailorboy
Joined
Mar 29, 2011
Messages
757
Location
,
If you don't know the person, ask them their name. When they go to answer, cut them off with 'IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOUR NAME IS!!'

Stare them down, pull down your sunglasses a bit, raise an eyebrow, and walk off. ;)
 
Joined
Mar 19, 2006
Messages
148
Location
,
"Really? I didn't know that!"

"That's not what you said last night."

"Wow, and here I thought cavemen had evolved!"

"Your dad likes it."

"Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?"

"Thank you, but I'm not interested in pigs."

"Take a picture, it lasts longer!"

"Was THAT supposed to hurt, because it didn't."
 

ForeignSoul

Well-Known Member
Joined
Feb 16, 2011
Messages
51
Location
,
As I have used for years, will use for years and actually just used on my boss the other day when he called me Cpt Cankles.....



""HAHAHAHA! Oh shit! You just made a joke about my size. Oh man, that's to funny. Damn, I haven't heard a joke about my weight before...you are that of what geniouses are made of. HAHAHAHA..... On a side note *Appropriate name to make fun of them here* feel free to take some time and find a way to insult me that HASN'T been done for the past 20 years... douche"


I can't tell you how many people look like complete jackasses to others near by when I spit that out..... I find it pretty awesome...lol :)
 

Green Eyed Fairy

Funky Faerie Queene
Joined
Sep 18, 2006
Messages
18,539
Location
In Your Head
My personal favorite to men that feel it's necessary to insult me somehow after I politely turn them down
(for example one said I was "kind of flabby anyway" after I told him I wouldn't be interested in dating him- even if he was single :doh:)

It must be hell when even a fat girl doesn't want you
 

BullseyeB

Well-Known Member
Joined
Aug 7, 2007
Messages
1,342
Location
,
My personal favorite to men that feel it's necessary to insult me somehow after I politely turn them down
(for example one said I was "kind of flabby anyway" after I told him I wouldn't be interested in dating him- even if he was single :doh:)

It must be hell when even a fat girl doesn't want you
LMFAO on that one!!!! :bow:
 

LadyDeelicious

Finally Back Again!
Joined
May 23, 2010
Messages
49
Location
,
A variation on the "I may be fat but your ugly, and I can diet"




Depending on how rude the original comment was I say one of the following:

Thanks captian obvious. At least I can diet, what can be done about your stupidity!

And you're a moron...BUT I can diet!

Well your a jacka$$, I can diet, what can you do to change?
 

Jenella

Far from Ordinary
Joined
Nov 23, 2010
Messages
26
Location
,
When I notice that someone is staring at me/whispering and pointing to me, I have this habit of telling them. 'Take a Picture, It lasts longer, Hell, I'll even autograph it for ya'. while smiling innocently at them.

If someone is being rude and/or is making fat jokes, I find that the best way to handle it is to just smile at them, then ignore them and move on. Why waste my valuable time on idiots? Most of the time, they get bored and shut the hell up, but sometimes I have to get sarcastic with them and blow their mind.
 

AnnMarie

✰cuddly and terrifying✰
Joined
Sep 29, 2005
Messages
16,221
Location
,
A variation on the "I may be fat but your ugly, and I can diet"




Depending on how rude the original comment was I say one of the following:

Thanks captian obvious. At least I can diet, what can be done about your stupidity!

And you're a moron...BUT I can diet!

Well your a jacka$$, I can diet, what can you do to change?
I'm glad you have something that works for you, but I'd encourage you to find a way to reply without making your body a fault or something that requires correction. It only reinforces their point, and you have NOTHING that requires changing unless it's something you care to do.

Good luck out there!
 

one2one

Sentient little hedonist
Joined
May 13, 2010
Messages
851
Location
,
"I can't for the life of me imagine why you would feel the need to have such a vested interest in my weight."

I used this once for an 'unsolicited comment', and it worked very well. It shut the conversation down.
 

SlightlyMorbid

Darth Cuddles
Joined
Jul 23, 2011
Messages
436
Location
,
Actual story that happened at the swimming pool. Two cheer-leader type of girls were giggling and pointing at my boyfriend and as we passed by they made a remark about his weight. My boyfriend doesn't really care since I helped him get more confident about his weight, so I turned around sharply, "Hon, ever considered the fact you're just jealous he's a guy with more tits than you ever have, capt'n Flatchest mcPeaNipples?"

Look on her face was classic.


"You're fat."
"A smart person knows when to shut up, a dumb person proves themself to be so by opening their mouth."

"Damn what a huge bitch."
"Don't make me sit on you."

"Ew. Ugly fat ass."
"Ew. Skinny bitch with no personality."

And what always works, "-Boot to the head-"
 

Nivlac

New Member
Joined
Aug 24, 2010
Messages
2
Location
,
This is my first post on here, and all though this is not really an appropriate thread to make it in I felt this comeback had to be said.

The ultimate comeback, no matter what is said to you, no matter how many times, is...

NO YOU!

My brother frequently uses this on people until they become so frustrated they leave, if if it doesn't make complete sense:

You're stupid!
No you!
You're also ugly!
No you!
Your comebacks suck, can't you say anything else?
No you!
Yourer just saying the same thing back to me every time!
No you!

See, unbeatable!

One more my brother does, whenever someone says something to insult out of the blue, he will just quote Monty Python and say, "and now for something completely different!" and go back to what he is doing.

Also, I find these replies very amusing, good job people!
 

Jess87

Man-Bat Groupie
Joined
Jul 3, 2011
Messages
270
Location
,
"Thanks. I know, but I didn't realize people were still using that term." This isn't a great comeback, because people don't seem to always get the implied "phat" opposed to "fat." That actually makes me like it more though.

I'm pretty good at a fake cry, so if I'm feeling like being an asshole, I'll start that. Then go "Oh yeah, sorry, I totally forgot that I don't care."

"Okay. Oh, that's it? Well, that was a letdown."
 

CastingPearls

Go Big Or Go Home
In Remembrance
Joined
Apr 11, 2010
Messages
15,157
Location
,
I don't know if this one's been posted yet but when someone (who isn't driving or hurrying off) says YOU'RE FAT, I say, I like fat. How's ugly and stupid working for you?
 

Lamia

Like OMG!!
Joined
Oct 7, 2007
Messages
1,624
Location
, female
I usually just say nothing. Their opinions, much like their existence, are unimportant to me.

I even wrote a couple of lyrics about it

I hate you
your pointless existence
your pointless point of view



but I want the music to be this sort of sweeping power ballad.
 

Latest posts

Top