fat people vs little kids

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Lil BigginZ

just a NORML guy
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richjunkerman,
now i know i can't be the only fat person that this happens to although it could be the fact that i have a green mohawk and tattoos and piercings. i find it a lot of times when i'm out and about in a store or something like that. i always come across little kids who just stop and stare at you like a deer in a headlights lol. i find it to be the funniest thing in the world. i laugh so hard on the inside it just makes me mess with the little kids sometimes. sometimes i will say something like, "i'm going to eat you" or something along the lines of that about eating little kids.

i find it about 80% of the parents just let it happen like their kid isn't doing anything wrong. they will just stand there and let their kids stare at these fat people and a lot of the times the kids say stuff too. i know they are kids and thats why i just laugh it off and mess with them from time to time. i usually only mess with the kids whose parents don't do anything. and believe me sometimes the reactions of the parents are funny as hell. their either in shock or angry lol. but i can understand why.

so i'm wondering what other people think about it. do you just laugh it off and say they are just kids? do you get offended by it? what do you think about the parents reaction when the kids are doing it and the parents don't so anything about it?

EDIT: seems i had a typo in the title. silly me!
 

ChubbyBubbles

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As a supersized woman and a previous preschool teacher, I know all too well what you are talking about. When it's a really little child...5 or under...it doesn't bother me. I usually smile, pat my tummy and say something like "I like cookies." They usually react with a smile and tell me they like cookies too. LOL! Of course the embarrassed, beet-red parents sigh a sign of relief too! When it's from a child who is old enough to know better, I usually ignore it. But I have, on occassion, said "That's not very nice, you should know better." All the while giving them that eyebrow raised "knowing" look. Most parents are incredibly embarrassed. Some laugh along. Either way, I DO NOT make a scene when children are involved, no matter how rude they are.
Unfortunately it's a situation that no one takes responsibility for. Since when is it socially acceptable to pick on the fat person? It's like we deserve to be made fun of! Anyway, I'm used to it and try not to react. Kids are kids...they learn these behaviors somewhere. I tend to blame the parents/caregivers. I know my 2 year old will never make fun of anyone because my husband and I have taught him to love all people. A few weeks ago Luke told me I was FAT as he hugged me. (my father uses the word ALL the time) But he said it so innocently that I knew he wasn't being mean. I smiled at him and said "Yes, Luke, mommy is fat." He hugged me ever harder and said "I know mommy, I love you so much!" :wubu:
 

BothGunsBlazing

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Don't you know it's okay for children and adults to stare at fat people? They are probably unaware of how fat they are and need a good reminder. It's like you're doing them a service really.

I remember when I was with a girlfriend once and this kid was behind us in line talking about how fat my girlfriend was at the time and the woman goes "don't say that where they can hear you"

WTF!

For some reason it's perfectly ok to talk down to fat people and make comments .. the most socially acceptable form of bigotry! I wish it were acceptable to make these fools walk the idiot plank.
 

Roflcopter

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I imagine with really small children, staring at a fat person isn't much different than, say, my all time favorite toddler behavior: not watching where you are going! You're talking about a class of people who run Wile E. Coyote style into someone's leg every time they round a corner. So yeah, I'd brush it off.

But easy for me to say, I've never been that big, though I'm rather tall and little kids seem to stare at that too. I used to work in a bookstore and was cleaning up the Kid's section one day when a littel girl, maybe about 2, told her mom that she was afraid of the monster in the corner. Really? Monster? But I thought it was funny. And to her credit the mother corrected the child, though she didn't apologize to me, though I think that might have been because she wasn't sure if I had even heard or not.

Edit:

"don't say that where they can hear you"
Classy.
 

missy_blue_eyez

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Im a nursery worker and do hear alot 'Miss your fat' or 'Miss Griffiths, why are you fat?'. I didnt happen much until a year or two ago when the government in the Uk started these new healthy eating initiatives within the Uk schools. The way they teach it is also quite bad at times. Ive seen teachers hold up certain things like a Mars bar and ask the class 'What does this do children?' and the required answer is 'Makes you fat.' So theres a young generation of fatphobes being bred already, instead of them being taught how to make positive choices they are taught that thin=good, fat=bad.

But anyway back to the point, when it comes from much smaller children, I agree with chubby bubbles, I usually say something like 'Because I like my dinner'. But granted that I do feel embarassed, and it other adults are around it also makes them feel uncomfortable, but its just one of those things you learn to deal with I suppose. When it comes from older children/teenagers I lose patience. I try my best to shrug it off but it usually bubbles under the surface and winds me up. I think at times that these are the main times that make me feel like I hate being a bbw. Its the embarassment that I get after other peoples small mindedness. But such is life aye!
 

Tooz

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But I have, on occassion, said "That's not very nice, you should know better." All the while giving them that eyebrow raised "knowing" look. Most parents are incredibly embarrassed. Some laugh along.
I did this once. The mother of the child went ballistic on me.
 

bexy

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i get it too, again i get looked at cos of my hair, piercings and tattoos anyway, but sometimes cos i am fat.

i worked and still do some voluntary work with kids, mostly pre school age. some parents will shush their child and apologise, and i will say its ok, children are curious! i dont mind if a child asks me why i am fat, or points out that i am fat. theyre not being insulting, just inquisitive. they dont know the social connotations associated with weight at that age. all they know is that you have a bigger belly than some people and want to know why.
if given the opportunity to respond i have always gone with "everyone is different, some people are small, some are tall, some are fat, some are thin, some are black, some are white etc..." approach. i take it as a good chance to teach the kids i work/worked with about differences.

however some parents will not say anything, or even laugh, which i think is rude.

a wee boy in my class once asked his dad why i had a big belly, iin front of me. his dad answered "cos she eats too many sweets son"!


i was like wtf!? how do u know what i eat? but this was the same dad that walked in once to find his son pushing a toy buggy and freaked out, as it was a girls toy dont u know!

so to sum up, i dont mind if a child calls me fat, or asks why i am fat. its the same as asking why i am tall, or telling me i have red hair! its the parents response that can sometimes turn it into a problem.
 

Waxwing

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I think that little tiny smallies don't tend to mean it in a judgmental way. Children are curious and they love new things. But it's hard to tell when that fades and gives way to staring based on prejudice.

Stupid parents. :p
 

fatgirlflyin

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now i know i can't be the only fat person that this happens to although it could be the fact that i have a green mohawk and tattoos and piercings. i find it a lot of times when i'm out and about in a store or something like that. i always come across little kids who just stop and stare at you like a deer in a headlights lol. i find it to be the funniest thing in the world. i laugh so hard on the inside it just makes me mess with the little kids sometimes. sometimes i will say something like, "i'm going to eat you" or something along the lines of that about eating little kids.

i find it about 80% of the parents just let it happen like their kid isn't doing anything wrong. they will just stand there and let their kids stare at these fat people and a lot of the times the kids say stuff too. i know they are kids and thats why i just laugh it off and mess with them from time to time. i usually only mess with the kids whose parents don't do anything. and believe me sometimes the reactions of the parents are funny as hell. their either in shock or angry lol. but i can understand why.

so i'm wondering what other people think about it. do you just laugh it off and say they are just kids? do you get offended by it? what do you think about the parents reaction when the kids are doing it and the parents don't so anything about it?

EDIT: seems i had a typo in the title. silly me!

A lot of times very little kids stare because things are different. They are trying to figure out what makes the person or thing different and how it relates to them. Most often they mean no harm, unless they've already been groomed by their parents to think that fat is gross. How else are kids supposed to get to know about the world around them? Have to say that if someone were to scare my child and tell them they were gonna eat them they'd be pulling my foot out of their ass.
 

Chimpi

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Unfortunately it's a situation that no one takes responsibility for. Since when is it socially acceptable to pick on the fat person? It's like we deserve to be made fun of! Anyway, I'm used to it and try not to react. Kids are kids...they learn these behaviors somewhere. I tend to blame the parents/caregivers. I know my 2 year old will never make fun of anyone because my husband and I have taught him to love all people. A few weeks ago Luke told me I was FAT as he hugged me. (my father uses the word ALL the time) But he said it so innocently that I knew he wasn't being mean. I smiled at him and said "Yes, Luke, mommy is fat." He hugged me ever harder and said "I know mommy, I love you so much!" :wubu:
That's adorable that your son is like that. :) And it's wonderful to hear that you have taught him the wonderful world of acceptance. You should be proud of yourself. And more over, your son (as I am sure you are).

I am with you though... No one tends to take responsibility. It usually comes down the the parents not teaching their children either A.) manners or B.) acceptance. Obviously there are exceptions, and other situations and reasons that things like this can happen, but I think those are the two most common reasons. Bad manners mixed with no punishment (of any kind, not even a "stop doing that, it's rude!" on part of the parent) is a recipe for disaster in later years. *Shrugs* But that's a whole other debate for another discussion.

Reputation given to you, Bubbles.
 

Lamia

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A lot of times very little kids stare because things are different. They are trying to figure out what makes the person or thing different and how it relates to them. Most often they mean no harm, unless they've already been groomed by their parents to think that fat is gross. How else are kids supposed to get to know about the world around them? Have to say that if someone were to scare my child and tell them they were gonna eat them they'd be pulling my foot out of their ass.

Good post. Most kids are just curious. I remember how HUGE fat people looked to me as a kid. When you're a kid everything is bigger, including fat people. You can always tell the parents that are shocked and embarassed. I don't always think it's anything the parents have done or groomed them to do. Kids are capable of making their own decisions about what they see. I remember eating Chinese food one time and my fiance's little boy, about age 4 is eating and looking around and he says "there are a lot of Chinese people in here". It was embarassing, but it wasn't said with any kind of malice he was just stating the obvious. I said "yep that's because we're eating food from their culture so it's like we're visiting" he said "their culture tastes good" He also said the tables had a lot of fruit pictures etc. Kids like to name and identify things. Sometimes kids just say things from left field. He also told us while at Pizza Hut that "this place could get about 400 rats in here.....*still looking around making his rodent size assessment* and about 200 mice" . :doh:
 

superodalisque

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i think little kids are great! i love the way that they stare when they are curious. i wish adults could stare without value judgements the way that they do. i get the stare once in a while but its usually when i wear an african headwrap--i love showing off my african fabric collection that way. wearing those is not too common down here in the south. a lot of people are big and children don't notice very much. i have had a few little kids say "your fat!" that was when i lived in the midwest. they did it for the adult reaction. its kinda like saying no when your expected to say yes. i know the children see a lot of grown ups buckle and fold emotionally under thier tiny little hands when they mention fat and they love the power. when i have gotten that treatment i just look kindly at them and say "thank you! :D". usually they repeat it because they don't believe they heard me right. and i say "thank you! :D" happily again. when i do this i can see the little wheels spinning in their heads. they get the idea that not everyone thinks that being fat is a bad thing. then they can go on to be really natural about it. i like it when they squeeze and hug me etc... i am not self conscious about it. this way i can teach them that different is fun and interesting. i like getting preferential treatment from the kiddies because i'm softer lol.

the parents are another story. most of the time they're so afraid that you'll think they are a bad parent. they're often trying very hard not to raise rude children. i usually have to really coddle them and tell them that its okay. kids are supposed to ask questions and be curious. if they say nothing i'm fine with that. i don't think they should really say too much unless a child is very rude to someone and its obviously hurting that person. but for the most part i think us fat people should be able to handle it ourselves. if the adult is very rude its best to ignore the person and their child. you don't want to give crazy people too much fuel. and, you don't want children to see two adults behaving childishly.
 

mossystate

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I think while it's understandable that some people are tired of feeling like ' freaks ', please back up a little bit..take a deep breath..and understand the difference between curiosity from a child..and someone older who truly does have that ' oh my god..gross ' glint in their eye. One of my sisters has one leg. She certainly has never...ever...been upset with a young child staring at her. Some ask her what happened..and she tells them. She has had some interesting conversations with little ones. Kids need people who are not scary letting them know that the world is full of all kinds of folks.
 

superodalisque

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how so?

I am assuming you mean she got angry with you...
She is the one teaching her child to be rude....
hey thats nothing. some people are really nuts when it comes to doing anything to help their children. there was this one woman in a store not watching her children at all. one ran outside in front of a car. he came very close to being seriously injured. the other mothers in there said that she should be more careful (in a nice way) about watching her children. she totally lost it. they were even explaining how their children had once gotten away from them too. but all she could hear was that she was wrong and she was determined not to be.
 

southernfa

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Luckily I wasn't present at the time but it is a matter of family lore that once my eldest son, as an infant, escaped from his aunt, ran through the supermarket until he came across an enormous lady, looked up into her eyes and exclaimed at the top of his little voice "Doo-doo-doo, you little piglet!"

The lady was not impressed, the aunt was mortified. The father is still amused.
 

superodalisque

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Luckily I wasn't present at the time but it is a matter of family lore that once my eldest son, as an infant, escaped from his aunt, ran through the supermarket until he came across an enormous lady, looked up into her eyes and exclaimed at the top of his little voice "Doo-doo-doo, you little piglet!"

The lady was not impressed, the aunt was mortified. The father is still amused.
at least little piglets are cute little fat things. its sad that people are embarrassed or mortified. it could have been a great laugh for everybody. it would be something like calling a big hairy man with a beard a grizzly bear. the dad had the right attitude.

its sad that people are really uncomfortable with who they are and who other people are. you should hear some of the things we call each other in chat and enjoy and laugh at. i wish the rest of the world was like that.
 
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