I LOOK AT YOUNG GIRLS NOW
I look at young girls now
in their tight crushed velour
skin tight sky blue
hip huggers with the baby doll
and I think
I've been there.
God, have I been there.
Sixteen years old and
wrestling with an overwhelming
Parading it in all its
raw and awkward charm.
I had a pair of vintage
burgundy velvet short-shorts
that laced up
from the 1920s
and I wore them
with a tight leotard
and plastic faux pearl
showing off all my lanky
youth on the verge
of womanhood for all the
free world to see
with no idea how to keep
a secret, especially my own.
Sexual Urgency, What a Woman's Laughter can do, and the Nature of True Virility
Someone of hand to the caliph of Egypt,
"The king of Mosul
has a concubine like no other,
more beautiful than I can describe.
She looks like this."
He draws her likeness on paper.
The caliph drops his cup.
Immediately he sends his captain to Mosul
with an army of thousands. The siege goes on for a week,
with many casualties, the walls and towers unsteady,
as soft as wax. The king of Mosul sends an envoy.
"Why this killing?" If you want the city,
I will leave you can have it!
If you want more wealth, that's even easier."
The captain take out the piece of paper
with the girl's picture on it. This.
The strong king of Mosul is quick to reply.
"lead her out. The idol belongs with idolaters."
When the captain sees her, he falls in love,
like the caliph. Don't laugh at this.
This loving is also part of the infinite love,
without which the world does not evolve.
Objects move from ignorance to vegetation
to selves endowed with spirit through the urgency
of every love that wants to come to perfection.
This captain thinks the soil looks fertile,
so he sows his seed. Sleeping he sees the girl
in a dream. He makes love to her image,
and his semen spurts out.
After a while he begins to wake.
slowly he senses the girls is not there.
'I have given my seed into nothing.
I shall put this tricky woman to a test."
A leader who is not captain of his body is not one
to be honored, with his semen spilled in to the sand.
Now he loses all control. He doesn't care
about the caliph, or about dying.
"I am in love," he says.
Do not act in such heat.
Take counsel with a master.
But the captain couldn't.
His infatuation is a black water wave carrying him away.
Something that doesn't exist makes a phantom
appear in the darkness of the well,
and the phantom becomes strong enough
to throw actual lions in the hole.
More advice: it is dangerous to let others men
have intimate connections with the women in your care.
Cotton and fire sparks, those are, together.
difficult, almost impossible, to quench.
The captain does not return straight to the caliph,
but instead camps in a secluded meadow.
Blazing. He can't tell ground from sky.
His reason is lost in a drumming sound,
worthless radish and son of a radish.
The caliph himself a gnat, nothing.
But just as this cultivator tears off the woman's pants
and lies down between her legs, his penis moving
strait to the mark, there is a great tumult
and a rising cry of soldiers outside the tent.
He leaps up with his bare bottom shinning
and runs out, scimitar in hand.
A black lion from a nearby swamp
has gotten in among the horses. chaos.
the lion jumping twenty feet in to the air,
tents billowing like an ocean.
The captain quickly approaches the lion,
splits his head with one blow,
and now he's running back to the woman's tent.
When he stretches out her beauty again,
his penis goes even more erect.
The engagement, the coming together, is as with the lion.
His penis stays erect all through it,
and it does not scatter semen feebly.
the beautiful one is amazed at his virility.
Immediately, with great energy she joins with his energy,
and their two spirits go out of them as one.
Whenever two are linked this way, there comes another
from the unseen world. It maybe through birth,
if nothing prevents conception,
but a third does come, when two unite in love,
or in hate. The intense qualities born
of such joining appear in the spiritual world.
You will recognize them when you go there.
Your associations bear progeny.
Be careful, therefore. wait and be conscious,
before you go to meet anyone.
remember there are children to consider!
Children you must live with and tend to,
born of your emotions with another, entities
with a form, and speech, and a place to live.
they are crying to you even now.
you have forgotten us. come back.
Be aware of this. A man and a woman together
always have a spiritual result.
The captain was not so aware. He fell,
and stuck like a gnat in a pot of buttermilk,
totally absorbed in his love affair. Then,
just as suddenly, he's uninterested. He tells
the woman, "Don't say a word of this to the caliph."
He takes her there, and the caliph is smitten.
She's a hundred times more beautiful than he's imagined.
A certain man asks an eloquent teacher,
"What is true and what is false?"
"This is false: a bat hides from the sun, not from the idea of the sun.
It's the idea that puts fear in the bat and leads it
deeper into the cave. you have an idea
of an enemy that attacks you to certain companions.
Moses, the inner light of revelation,
lit up the top of Sinai, but the mountain
could not hold that light.
Don't deceive yourself that way!
Having the idea is not living
the reality, of anything.
There's no courage in the idea of battle.
The bath house wall is covered with pictures
and much talk of heroism. Try to make an idea move
from ear to eye. Then your wooly ears
become as subtle as fibers of light.
Your whole body becomes a mirror,
all eye and spiritual breathing.
Let your ear lead the you to your lover."
So the caliph is mightily in love with this girl.
His kingdom vanishes like lightning.
If your loving is numb, know this: when what you own
can vanish, it's only a dream, a vanity, breath
through a mustache. It would have killed you.
There are those that say, "Nothing lasts."
They're wrong. Every moment they say,
"If there were some other reality,
I would have seen it. I would know about it."
Because a child doesn't understand a chain of reasoning,
should adults give up being rational?
If reasonable people don't feel the presence of love
within the universe, that doesn't mean it's not there.
Joseph's brothers did not see Joseph's beauty,
but Jacob never lost sight of it. Moses at first
saw only a wooden staff, but to his others seeing
it was a viper and a cause of panic.
Eyesight is in conflict with inner knowing.
Moses' hand is a hand and a source of light.
These matters are as real as the infinite is real,
but they seem religious fantasies to some,
to those who believe only in reality
of the sexual organs and the digestive tract.
Don't mention the Friend to those.
To others, sex and hunger are fading images,
and the Friend is more constantly, solidly here.
Let the former go to their church, and we'll go to ours.
Don't talk long to skeptics or those
who claim to be atheists.
So the caliph has the idea
of entering the beautiful woman,
and he comes to her wanting to do this wanting.
Memory raises his penis, straining it in through
towards the pushing down and the lifting up
which make that member grow large with delight.
But as he actually lies down with the woman,
there comes to him a decree from God
to stop these voluptuous doings. A tiny sound,
like a mouse might make. The penis droops,
and desire slips away.
He thinks that whispering sound is a snake
rising off the straw mat. The girl sees his drooping
and sails into fits of laughing at the marvelous thing.
She remembers the captain killing the lion
with his penis standing straight up.
Long and loud the laughter.
Anything she thinks of only increases it,
like the laughter of those who eat hashish.
Everything is funny.
Every emotion has a source a key that opens it.
The caliph is furious. He draws his sword.
"What's so amusing?" Tell me everything you're thinking.
Don't hold anything back. At this moment
I'm clairvoyant. If you lie, I'll behead you.
If you tell the truth, I'll give you your freedom."
He stacks seven Qur'ans on top of each other
and swears to do as he says.
When she finally gets a hold of her self,
the girl tells all, in great detail. Of the camp
in the meadow, the killing of the lion,
the captain's return to the tent with his penis
still hard as the horn of a rhino.
And the contrast with the caliph's own member
sinking down because of one mouse-whisper.
Hidden things always come to light.
Do not sow bad seed. Be sure, they'll come up.
Rain and the sun's heat make them rise in to the air.
Spring comes after the fall of leaves,
which is proof enough of resurrection.
Secrets come out in spring, out from earth-lips into leaf.
Worries become wine-headaches.
But where did the wine come from? Think.
A branch of blossoms does not look like seed.
A man does not resemble semen. Jesus came
from Gabriel's breath, but he is not in that form.
The grape doesn't look like the vine.
loving actions are the seed of something
completely different, a living-place.
No origins is like where it leads to.
We can't know where our pain is from
We don't know all that we've done.
Perhaps it's best that we don't.
Nevertheless we suffer for it.
The caliph comes back to his clarity. "In the pride
of my power I took this woman from another,
so of course, someone came to knock on my door.
Whoever commits adultery is a pimp
for his own wife.
If you cause injury to someone, you draw
that same injury toward yourself. My treachery
made my friend a traitor to me. This repetition
must stop somewhere. Here, in and act of mercy.
I'll send you back to the captain ,
saying another of my wives is jealous,
and since that captain was brave enough
to bring you back from Mosul,
he shall have you in marriage."
This is the virility of a prophet.
The caliph was sexually impotent,
but his manliness was most powerful.
The kernel of true manhood is the ability
to abandon sensual indulgences. The intensity
of the captain's libido is less than a husk
compared to the caliph's nobility in ending
the cycle so sowing lust and reaping
secrecy and vengefulness.
My fav for over 20 years
by e e cummings
i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you
here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart
i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)
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