Fear of food shopping

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3CatsAnd1Fish

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I haven't went grocery shopping in years. My husband has always done it. But the prospect of him going on an unaccompanied tour of duty (Korea) or deployment (even worse!) has me scared. I hate shopping for clothes and for anything edible. You know how other people view us when we shop: the sneers, the looks, the pointing. But deployments and unaccompanied tours of duties are at least a year long. Never mind shopping for food, I can't live without my husband, period! But these are a part of life in the military.

I don't know how I can overcome my fear of the dreaded supermarket and shop for one of the basic necessities of life should the situation arise. I can get my cleaning supplies from the dollar store. Thank God for them!

I don't know. I have tried to attempt to do it, but it's not as easy as most people think. I wish this was as easy as shopping for my kitties and fishies or my crafts.
 

sirumberto

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Well, I have no idea if this is an option for you, but a lot of grocery stores have the option of picking out what you need online and then you'd have to just drive up and they'd pack the goods in your vehicle curbside. This is for an extra fee of course, but it's something to look at.

Edit: And I know it's not much help, but not everyone who stares is being mean. ;)
 

SamanthaNY

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Not sure where you're located, but are there grocery delivery services in your area? Many stores are now picking up on internet ordering. Even Amazon.com has some non-perishable grocery items.

With that as a temporary crutch - I would try to work up to the point where you can do the shopping yourself. At first, bring a friend. Go for small trips, just to pick up necessities. Work up the point where you can go on your own, and enjoy the experience of being in control of what you wanna do and buy. You have JUST as much right as anyone else to shop, and you should be able to do it without being made to feel uncomfortable. Try to adapt that attitude... "this is MY store too!".

And get yourself a pin or t-shirt with says "At Least I'm Not You"

You can do it. And I suspect your hubby will be happy that you're getting along okay while he's off doing his duty.
 

sweetnnekked

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SamanthaNY said it and I do too, I live on the west coast and most of the large grocery store chains will take your entire order online and then deliver it to your door. Delivery charges are usually only 10-15 dollars extra.
Also, talk to your family physician. I, too, have anxiety problems most of which I've worked out on my own but, your Dr. can prescribe medication to help you overcome your fears. Ask him/her about "propranolol." Perhaps it or another medication is just what you're looking for.
Good luck in overcoming your fears. I'd like to tell you that thay are quite irrational but you need to work that out on your own. I'm sure in time, you will persevere!!

P.S. Another option: Start shopping with your husband in order to get used to it. ;)
 

Zandoz

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On the VERY rare occasions that I do go out shopping, it's to a store with size friendly scooters...Then it's just "look all ya want...I got things to do!"
 

Cat

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I don't advocate the home delivery groceries. That's not going to help you in the long run. It's just an overpriced bandaid.

I think fears need to be hit head on...with little baby steps. Not avoided entirely, as life is far too short to limit your own experience...even if the experience is a relatively simple one, like grocery shopping.

First, you mentioned that "You know how other people view us when we shop: the sneers, the looks, the pointing." Let me tackle this. VERY few people are like that. Sure, you will run into a few, but why are they acting in that manner? Quite simply, they fear their own shortcomings and need to drag you down in order to feel superior. Rather than fearing the sneers, points, giggles, etc, take a step back and realize that those people are often, sad, lonely and insecure. Sometimes they're just five year old kids or adults with simplistic five year old mentalities. Pity them and move on with your own life. You've got so much to see and do!

My suggestion for baby step #1 -- Get up super early in the morning, put on good lookin' duds, make sure you've got your hair just so, and then go to the local grocery store. I'm suggesting you walk through the door at 6am. There will be very few people there. And the other ones who are there are probably in a rush to get stuff done before they have to get to work. They won't notice you. If you can't do a full fledged shopping trip the first time, try just going in and buying a bottle of water or a pack of gum. In and out quickly.
Don't forget to smile, look the checkout girl/boy straight in the eye and say, "Hi".
This little step will take you so very, very far.
Please give it a try.
 

love dubh

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And the perk of going early could also be that you're able to get the feel of the place. Thus, during subsequent trips, you'll know what you want and where to find it. Don't just smile at the cashier. Smile in general! You'd never believe that "faking it until you make it" in this instance works quite well. Putting on a smile will eventually make you feel happy too. Then, your whole perception will change and all those sneers, whether real or imaginary, will equal shite to you. :D

Bon courage with your next food shopping trip!
 

Cat

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catay,
Excellent addition, Maire. Smile and the world smiles with you!
 

swamptoad

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Well, My Mom doesn't like shopping in bigger places like the Super Walmart for her grocery needs. She just shops at smaller grocery type places. And she also has food delivered to her home by Swanson's. But home deliveries WILL NOT remedy your fear, like Cat said.

Cat had some great advice offered. Take it slow at first. Remember anything at all from last time that made you uncomfortable and try to think of ways to overcome it and make your journey to the grocery store more simplified also.

I wish you luck!

As for me, I usually shop at the 24 hr Walmart rather LATE just because I am a night owl anyways and I like going where I please to do shopping with less of a crowd.
 

BBWMoon

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I saw this at the NAAFA convention in CA last year... it helps me to keep my head up high:



No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.

Eleanor Roosevelt
 

swamptoad

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maire dubh said:
And the perk of going early could also be that you're able to get the feel of the place. Thus, during subsequent trips, you'll know what you want and where to find it. Don't just smile at the cashier. Smile in general! You'd never believe that "faking it until you make it" in this instance works quite well. Putting on a smile will eventually make you feel happy too. Then, your whole perception will change and all those sneers, whether real or imaginary, will equal shite to you. :D

Bon courage with your next food shopping trip!
I just got reminded of a song that my friend wrote called "Share a Smile"

Delightful smiles are usually contagious, IMO! ;)
 

ripley

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To Cat and Maire Dubh's excellent advice I'd add one more thing: if you can, take a friend with you. Preferably one who is immature and/or goofy. You can have so much fun goofing off and acting silly while doing your shopping that you won't give a flying fig what other people do or say. It works for me, lol. :)
 

Forgotten_Futures

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Grr, I too hate shopping in large supermarkets. Yet I'll gladly and willingly set foot in huge electronics stores =P. I've started making minor runs to the local Acme for simplistics just to get used to it, but I still don't like it, and I don't know why!
 

mossystate

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Aw..I am so sorry you are suffering so much with this.I like Sweets idea of going with your husband, so you can build a bit of a 'muscle'.Even if your first trip is 'just you going to the entrance of the store and turning back to the car, you will feel relief..trust me.

It is great that you can shop for other things and are ok with it,this means you probably should not jump to a medication for help..at least not at this point.Go to the library and get any books by Lucinda Bassett.She specializes in anxiety.I purchased a quite pricey cd set, but you could go to the library and get her book(s).

Please know that while it feels like you might 'die' confronting this..you won't*smile*.Sometimes you just have to...do it.Talk to your husband about getting you at least a bit more comfortable.Positive self-talk will help.You could also slap some of your favorite music in your ears while you take those few steps forward.

Good luck and check back here as often as you need to..will help.
 

Brandi

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Cat said:
I don't advocate the home delivery groceries. That's not going to help you in the long run. It's just an overpriced bandaid.

I think fears need to be hit head on...with little baby steps. Not avoided entirely, as life is far too short to limit your own experience...even if the experience is a relatively simple one, like grocery shopping.

First, you mentioned that "You know how other people view us when we shop: the sneers, the looks, the pointing." Let me tackle this. VERY few people are like that. Sure, you will run into a few, but why are they acting in that manner? Quite simply, they fear their own shortcomings and need to drag you down in order to feel superior. Rather than fearing the sneers, points, giggles, etc, take a step back and realize that those people are often, sad, lonely and insecure. Sometimes they're just five year old kids or adults with simplistic five year old mentalities. Pity them and move on with your own life. You've got so much to see and do!

My suggestion for baby step #1 -- Get up super early in the morning, put on good lookin' duds, make sure you've got your hair just so, and then go to the local grocery store. I'm suggesting you walk through the door at 6am. There will be very few people there. And the other ones who are there are probably in a rush to get stuff done before they have to get to work. They won't notice you. If you can't do a full fledged shopping trip the first time, try just going in and buying a bottle of water or a pack of gum. In and out quickly.
Don't forget to smile, look the checkout girl/boy straight in the eye and say, "Hi".
This little step will take you so very, very far.
Please give it a try.

I totally agree with shopping very early. I don't see the sneers, snickers and such. I don't like to be in crowds at all. I generally have my shopping done when people are just getting up lol
 

triton

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3CatsAnd1Fish said:
I haven't went grocery shopping in years. My husband has always done it. But the prospect of him going on an unaccompanied tour of duty (Korea) or deployment (even worse!) has me scared. I hate shopping for clothes and for anything edible. You know how other people view us when we shop: the sneers, the looks, the pointing. But deployments and unaccompanied tours of duties are at least a year long. Never mind shopping for food, I can't live without my husband, period! But these are a part of life in the military.

I don't know how I can overcome my fear of the dreaded supermarket and shop for one of the basic necessities of life should the situation arise. I can get my cleaning supplies from the dollar store. Thank God for them!

I don't know. I have tried to attempt to do it, but it's not as easy as most people think. I wish this was as easy as shopping for my kitties and fishies or my crafts.
3catsand1fish

Certainly there are options available here. Online grocery shopping and grocers that deliver come to mind. A few phone calls to local grocers for delivery options might help. I have also included a few online grocers and a link to an article about shopping online that might be helpful.

http://msnbc.msn.com/id/7714118/ - article

www.picndel.com – Online grocer

http://shop.safeway.com/superstore/default.asp?brandid=1&page=corphome - large chain with a shop online tab – (registration required to shop online)

I’m in Canada so many of my results will be different from yours with a google search, but there are many options to choose from.

That being said, most shoppers are not there to examine the other patrons and with the explosions of cell phones in the last few years I have found that many shoppers spend much of their time talking on the phone. Perhaps a quick trip to your local grocer for a few small items might help you feel more comfortable.
 

3CatsAnd1Fish

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:wubu:
You guys are the greatest. I will think about what all of you said. My husband has never complained about the shopping. I love him for it. I am a morning person and I do get up around 6.30 or so. It usually depends on what time I get to bed. One day I will have to shop for food for some reason or another. Shopping at o'dark-thirty does seem appealing. I probably won't try it any time soon, but maybe with in a few months. I'll do what Cat said, go in and get something small, like the ingredients for dinner. Walt can tell me where they are.

Thanks everyone!

 

Zandoz

Highly irregular
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SamanthaNY said:
And get yourself a pin or t-shirt with says "At Least I'm Not You"

Hmmmm......I'm going to have to start wearing the T-shirt my wife got me, when we go out. "There's no need to act stupid...even though you're very good at it"
 
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