fetishes and the FA

Discussion in 'BBW/FA Board' started by bigwillylandis, Nov 18, 2014.

  1. Sep 11, 2017 #81

    fatgrllvr

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    TwoSwords, we seem to be in complete agreement here, including on your observation about "normality." (I also liked your Jan. 2017 post in the Asperger's thread.)

    Your statement about your not-necessarily-sexual attraction to fat people in general got me thinking. My own attraction to fat is highly sexual and restricted to women - a man's fatness has no effect on me, positive or negative. Now I'm trying to figure out why that is. (I doubt I'll succeed, however; I'm trying to think logically about something that almost certainly isn't logical.)
     
  2. Sep 11, 2017 #82

    happily_married

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    my guess is it has to do with being straight? You can't force sexual attraction if it's not there. I have a profound appreciation for "classical" male beauty. Michelangelo's David for example. In fact that's sort of the standard I hold myself to. But that appreciation doesn't translate to sexual attraction. Not. At. All. I like women. My guess is you do too. No need to overthink that!
     
  3. Sep 12, 2017 #83

    fatgrllvr

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    Okay, Happily_Married, you're right. (When I'm not overthinking, I'm underthinking.)
     
  4. Sep 13, 2017 #84

    TwoSwords

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    I'm able to recognize the beauty of many things I'm not attracted to. A waterfall or a sunset, for example. Frankly, I think recognition of beauty and attraction are separate things (though they frequently correlate,) so you won't always find them in the same place.

    In my case, I do find fat men to be more pleasant to look at than thin ones, but I don't find them attractive in a sexual way, because I'm straight. So beauty doesn't always imply sexual attraction. That's part of my point.
     
  5. Sep 13, 2017 #85

    fatgrllvr

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    Duly noted, TwoSwords. I just find it curious that fat on a woman attracts me, whereas fat anywhere else doesn't affect me one way or the other.

    Both sexual attraction and concepts of beauty are highly relative to the individual (contrary to society's idiot memes) and, of course, only overlap in the sexual arena. (If I were sexually attracted to everything I find beautiful, I'd have died of exhaustion shortly after hitting puberty.)

    My father once told me I'm a master at stating the obvious. I apparently find it necessary to prove him right at every opportunity.
     
  6. Sep 13, 2017 #86

    TwoSwords

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    Yes. I suppose that like most of the data of our experiences as human beings, it is curious and interesting how these strange (meaning, all) emotions work.
     
  7. Sep 14, 2017 #87

    BigElectricKat

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    This line made me crack up at my desk this morning! "midsized BBWs" had me envision browsing around an auto dealership but instead of cars it was women of all shapes, sizes, and colors. *I'm NOT dogging you on this. It struck me in a funny way but I assure you that I'm NOT making fun*:bow:

    But seriously, this brings up a good point. Even within the FA community, there are preferences. Some like their partner to be a certain size, shape, weight, and even level of mobility. I find it extremely interesting.
     
  8. Sep 14, 2017 #88

    fatgrllvr

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    I think the variations in body size and configuration preferences within the FA community are just another illustration of the fact that there are no absolute standards of beauty. (Sorry, Plato.) Each individual has his or her own orientations and preferences; that's how it is in nature, and that's how it should be. Unfortunately, our "culture" is obsessed with forcing all of us to accept one limited and rigid prototype.

    Those who equate FA orientation to fetishism must acknowledge that men who worship beauty contestants are the ultimate fetishists. Their feminine ideal is a thin, barely post-adolescent woman with a highly specific facial structure. Compare this to the variety of women that virtually any FA would find attractive, and then tell me who has the "fetish."

    Anyway, isn't it past time to get rid of (so-called) beauty pageants? They're insulting to the vast majority of women who don't fit the pageant profile even though they may be superior in any or all respects. They also insult the intelligence and taste of every person who doesn't regard the pageant stereotype as any sort of feminine ideal.
     
  9. Sep 16, 2017 #89

    TwoSwords

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    The problem with beauty pageants is that it's basically impossible to judge them objectively. If pageants were run on firm criteria, pertaining to the amount of care and effort a woman put into her appearance, I'd have no problem with them at all. Instead, they're just a loudspeaker for the pushy majority.

    I played a game once that had a sort of human beauty pageant in it, and entrants were judged on hairstyle, smile and laugh, all of which can be done just as well by any kind of person. I feel something similar could be done in reality, to give people a chance to show off their ability to be charming, without necessarily treating one group of people as though their type of beauty is less legitimate than another.
     
  10. Sep 16, 2017 #90

    fatgrllvr

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    (From TwoSwords): "The problem with beauty pageants is that it's basically impossible to judge them objectively. If pageants were run on firm criteria, pertaining to the amount of care and effort a woman put into her appearance, I'd have no problem with them at all. Instead, they're just a loudspeaker for the pushy majority.

    "I played a game once that had a sort of human beauty pageant in it, and entrants were judged on hairstyle, smile and laugh, all of which can be done just as well by any kind of person. I feel something similar could be done in reality, to give people a chance to show off their ability to be charming, without necessarily treating one group of people as though their type of beauty is less legitimate than another.[End Quote]"

    It's hard for me to see how any sort of beauty pageant wouldn't end up creating specific standards that would denigrate everyone who didn't fit them. I do like your idea about a "charm pageant." To make it non-sexist, it would have to include men, which could be pretty funny. (I'd probably be disqualified, since the hairstyle criterion implies that the contestant would need actual hair.)
     
  11. Sep 16, 2017 #91

    TwoSwords

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    Not necessarily. The sleek, hairless look can be a very fetching hairstyle. Just check out how it looks on Mister Clean, Lex Luthor or Saitama.

    And even if the contest in some way implies a need for actual hairs, there's always wigs, I suppose.

    "Beauty" is quite a pretty little philosophical problem in its own right. As much as the majority would love to convince us all that their understanding of beauty is just "correct," there's no good evidence to support that. Beauty is that which, when seen, pleases, and if some people are pleased by different things, that means that different things are beautiful for different people.

    But is beauty a real thing? If it is, how many forms of beauty, if any, really exist? As I see it, the topic of real beauty has two possible outcomes; all or nothing. By this I mean that either all things have a real beauty of their own, or nothing is actually beautiful. I'm inclined more towards the former than the latter; that there are many kinds of beauty that I just can't appreciate, but they are still forms of beauty.

    Man, do I love philosophy!
     
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  12. Sep 17, 2017 #92

    fatgrllvr

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    I'm inclined to think that both outcomes are true. Anything can be beautiful to someone, so all things have a beauty of their own within the total pool of humanity. If there's no absolute standard of beauty, than nothing can be said to be absolutely beautiful.

    Cool - a fellow philosophy nerd!
     
  13. Sep 18, 2017 #93

    Lastminute.Tom

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    I always thought you imprint your sexual identity around your first orgasm although I now suspect it might be two stages as you can masturbate as an infant until your parents (usually) teach you to be ashamed of touching yourself so maybe you imprint some of it then and then again when you have a wet dream or discover masturbation again at a time when you're able to ejaculate.

    My first "intentional" ejaculation I can remember finding a wet t-shirt video to watch as the bouncing breasts were the closest thing to jiggly fat girls, I then decided to channel my love of fat women into a love of large breasts as this seemed a socially acceptable form of preference, when I was young I would draw pictures of impossibly large women to snuggle with, I had no real concept of sex, when the pictures were found I was made to feel ashamed but when my drawings of large breasted women were found my Dad was happy, but I still wanted to look at any ssbbw porn I could find I just had to make sure I wasn't caught.

    When I spoke to my Dad about this years later he didn't even remember, the whole time I had been carrying what I thought was my fathers shame in his son for being attracted to who he was attracted to, its only recently with my financé that I've been able to get passed the shame about being attracted to her sexy fat form, I'm slowly starting to be able to accept my own bhm status soon I might have the courage to post a few pics ;)
     
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  14. Sep 18, 2017 #94

    loopytheone

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    First off, that's a really interesting take on things, thanks for sharing. :happy: A lot of FA seem to start with just saying they like big boobs. Makes me wonder how many people that claim to like big boobs are closet FA.

    I would disagree with the part I've highlighted though. Due to medical reasons, I have always been unable to orgasm yet my love of fat people has always been there and always been strong. I think it's probably too complex a thing to reduce it to one or two events in a persons life.
     
  15. Sep 18, 2017 #95

    fatgrllvr

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    Your "two stage" theory stirred up my first memory of sexuality. When I was about three years old, I saw a couple of fat teenage girls giggling on the sidewalk outside my apartment window. The sight made me so horny that I essentially humped a pillow, although no orgasm was involved. (As you can see, I was a charming child.) After that, I was fascinated by girls with fat thighs, bellies, and butts, although it didn't really become overwhelming until I hit puberty, and forever thereafter.

    Over the years, the same sexuality that once was considered part of my being a strong, lusty male has come to brand me as a dirty old man (if only in thought). Time is a funny thing.
     
  16. Sep 19, 2017 #96

    quantumbits

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    I've thoght about this a lot. I'm still a virgin. But I think I might go with the thin one because I feel guilty liking bigger woman. And relationship shouldn't be about looks, it should be about personality. If you can beat the looks early on, then later if something happens you're more prepared for it. The side benefit is thin girls can do hikes and physical activity more!

    Thinking back on all the girls and ladies I've had crushes on, they were thin and fat up through college until present time. But even in highschool there was a girl I thought was the definition of sexy. This girl was a BBW on the lighter side, so still fat by society's standards. Back then I didn't think of her as BBW. I still think that body size is sexiest. I think I was born with it, or had it early. Maybe it's somehow linked to Jessica in Roger Rabbit or something, except not as narrow--esp. in the middle. What boy didn't get turned on by her? I'm thinking maybe it was stuff I saw on TV. My mom was overweight, not severely. I've read we usually seek spouses who look like our mothers. This can't be true for everyone. My brother has a very skinny wife and he thought she was the hottest thing on Earth.

    Just trying to think positively. this world makes me tired with all its yarnball conflicts.

    EDIT: I got itnerested in the Jessica thing and googled. I found something mildly funny. It has some fat hate, and I don't want to care anymore. The wolrd is filled with s*** like that and I just try to go with teh blows now:
    [ame]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BsjwrA_Oo18[/ame]
     
  17. Sep 19, 2017 #97

    quantumbits

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    Yep. I've pondered if fetish for large breasts or butts is in fact fetish for fat, but in a socially acceptable form, or maybe a premature version? Maybe some people never develop it further and never like BBW types.

    Stretching it that far might make some people uncomfortable. Sorry for posting.
     
  18. Sep 19, 2017 #98

    quantumbits

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    You're exactly right. Which is why I think this is a lost cause.

    I was once eating some tasty and an older gentleman in his 60's whispered to me "Hey, you like hte thick woman too? So soft. Their big hips, you can never get enough!?" Those might not be the exact words, but it's the idea. He's the outspoken type of person who has trouble controlling what he says, despite otherwise being friendly and harmless. He was referring to the overweight young lady with her friends, maybe becuase I glanced over at her. I didn't tell him I agreed, just blushed.

    Just log off. Don't come back. Live your life. Actions matter, not words. This is a waste of time.
     
  19. Sep 19, 2017 #99

    TwoSwords

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    I'm afraid it's not that simple for some of us.

    I'm not here because I'm hoping to get a date. (By the way, I think you're right that guys are unfairly punished for sharing how they really feel.) I'm here because I need some way to express what goes on in my heart, and darn it, I'm just not getting those opportunities in my life, for the reasons you both state.

    To me, emotions that go unexpressed are hazardous, because they build and build, until they explode out of me in uncontrollable outbursts, unless I share them with someone, somewhere. Better here, with people I'll probably never meet in real life. But I still could never even imagine dating a girl/woman who didn't agree with me on this... strongly. In short, I'm here because in living my life, I have found it wanting.
     
  20. Sep 19, 2017 #100

    fatgrllvr

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    I totally agree. I just started posting here this month, for the same reasons.
     

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