Folks whose desires are firmly tied into FA-ness, have you had crushes on slim folks?

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wildandfree

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Yes, I agree with having intellectual crushes! The only lean man I ever dated happened right after I split with my bhm partner of 8 years. I dated the other thin guy for over a year, and I am now sure that the main attraction was based on the fact that he was opposite of my ex. I was so emotionally traumatized by my past relationship that I tipped the scale in the complete opposite direction in order to regain balance in my inner state. The longer the relationship with Mr. Skinny went on though, the less and less physical attractions I had. And although I really loved and respected him in so many ways, I ended it, as I was ready to pursue a relationship with someone who was mentally and physically more what I needed and desired . I am so thankful to the lean man that helped me rebuild my heart. But to be honest to myself, I know I could never date thin again. It isn't satisfying to my sexual needs.
 

luckyfa

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I would think of myself as a fat admirer through and through but this didn‘t prevent me from having crushes on women who weighed half as much as my wife or less, from early adulthood. I know that I am somewhat into contrasts (this is why I am lean and my wife‘s fat) and not attracted by the middle ground. In a woman, the BMI has either to be lower than 20 or greater than 40, to put numbers on it.

These crushes have never morphed into something serious (luckily) and my infatuation might even have been unrelated to weight. They just happened to be thin and something else was at play, some of the time at least.

That said, I‘ve also had crushes on women who are considerably fatter than my wife. Jaw-dropping crushes I have never experienced with lean women, no matter how conventionally attractive.

It all boils down to the fact that women are wonderful and beautiful beings. So never having any crushes would be a miracle from an evolutionary point of view. We - men in this case - don‘t have to act on them.
 

mathfa

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That's interesting that you bring up your BMI preference there. There was a study awhile back that showed that self-identified FAs actually have more attraction to underweight women than do the general population. I found that interesting, and pretty obvious evidence that once you are freed from societal ideals of attractiveness, a much wider variety of bodies are attractive.
 

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luckyfa

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There was a study awhile back that showed that self-identified FAs actually have more attraction to underweight women than do the general population
Interesting. Thanks for sharing this piece of information. I’ve noticed that women who have a normal BMI at the lower end or are even slightly underweight have to endure more open body shaming than truly fat women.
 

DazzlingAnna

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Interesting. Thanks for sharing this piece of information. I’ve noticed that women who have a normal BMI at the lower end or are even slightly underweight have to endure more open body shaming than truly fat women.
Sorry for being off topic:

Strong claim here.
Question: any scientific sources/reseaches for the point of who 'is enduring more open body shaming'?

It isn't a competition and no one should be assaulted by their appearance thin, fat, tall, short or whatever.

I am honestly interested in any scientific reseaches on this topic.
 

littlefairywren

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Interesting. Thanks for sharing this piece of information. I’ve noticed that women who have a normal BMI at the lower end or are even slightly underweight have to endure more open body shaming than truly fat women.
No intention to derail the thread, but as a fat woman I disagree with the above statement wholeheartedly. I've female friends of all sizes, and included in that are many fat "sisters," and I hear their fat shaming stories on a regular basis. I have plenty of my own. On the other hand, my thinner "sisters," rarely complain about being shamed for being slightly underweight or on the lower end of the BMI scale.
I've yet to hear a "normal" sized woman say that they've - been spat at, or used as a target for verbal or physical abuse being hurled from a car (I've had a full can of drink thrown at me from a passing car full of grown ass men as they screamed fatty), been refused decent service in a clothing store, had people giving you the once over and remarking within ear shot that you're not worth f**king because "look at the size of that arse," been refused a job regardless of qualifications because you're too fat to sit at a desk and answer phones. I could go on, but I'm getting too riled up now.

I'm sure you get the picture though.

As for the original poster's question...yes I have had crushes on slim folks.
 
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luckyfa

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Sorry for being off topic:

Strong claim here.
Question: any scientific sources/reseaches for the point of who 'is enduring more open body shaming'?

It isn't a competition and no one should be assaulted by their appearance thin, fat, tall, short or whatever.

I am honestly interested in any scientific reseaches on this topic.
I said „I‘ve noticed“ so it‘s a mere subjective observation. I doubt that there is any reliable scientific research anyway.

And you‘re right, it certainly isn‘t a competition
 

luckyfa

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No intention to derail the thread, but as a fat woman I disagree with the above statement wholeheartedly. I've female friends of all sizes, and included in that are many fat "sisters," and I hear their fat shaming stories on a regular basis. I have plenty of my own. On the other hand, my thinner "sisters," rarely complain about being shamed for being slightly underweight or on the lower end of the BMI scale.
I've yet to hear a "normal" sized woman say that they've - been spat at, or used as a target for verbal or physical abuse being hurled from a car (I've had a full can of drink thrown at me from a passing car full of grown ass men as they screamed fatty), been refused decent service in a clothing store, had people giving you the once over and remarking within ear shot that you're not worth f**king because "look at the size of that arse," been refused a job regardless of qualifications because you're too fat to sit at a desk and answer phones. I could go on, but I'm getting too riled up now.

I'm sure you get the picture though.

As for the original poster's question...yes I have had crushes on slim folks.
As I replied to Anna, I wrote „I‘ve noticed“ so this is a subjective observation. Some of the thin body shamed women I know suffer silently. But either way, it‘s a subjective observation without any claim to absolute truth. Neither my wife nor our bigger friends (she‘s the biggest of them) can relate to the experiences you mention. That‘s not to insinuate that any of those experiences are false.
 

Shotha

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I'm only attracted to fat guys. I dated a slim guy once. It didn't work. I allowed myself to be badgered into dating him. People thought that it would cure my obsession with fat guys. It just confirmed to me that I was not attracted to thin guys at all. There are lots of slim guys that I think are good-looking but I don't have any desire to be naughty with them.
 

littlefairywren

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As I replied to Anna, I wrote „I‘ve noticed“ so this is a subjective observation. Some of the thin body shamed women I know suffer silently. But either way, it‘s a subjective observation without any claim to absolute truth. Neither my wife nor our bigger friends (she‘s the biggest of them) can relate to the experiences you mention. That‘s not to insinuate that any of those experiences are false.
All I can say to this, is that your wife and your bigger friends are exceedingly lucky to not be able to relate to anything that I've mentioned. I can tell you though, I have experienced most that I wrote of and more, and that at 5ft tall and with a BMI of around 55, it is something that I'm conscious of when moving about in the outside world. Whether it be a constant blatant stare in my direction, people snickering, or something more overt, it happens.
 
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