For Women Only: What Do You Wish Men Knew?

Discussion in 'Daily Living' started by rainyday, Feb 7, 2007.

  1. Feb 7, 2007 #21

    calauria

    calauria

    calauria

    La Negra Hermosa

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    OH!! I just thought of something else!!

    Fellas, just say what you mean and mean what you say and stop fucking around with it.:D
     
  2. Feb 7, 2007 #22

    MisticalMisty

    MisticalMisty

    MisticalMisty

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    The rest..lol

    7. I’m a super sized woman. If you find that I’m your ideal woman in your fantasies, but yet can’t quite bring it upon yourself to date me. Leave me alone. I don’t need you to waste my time.

    8. Again, I am a super sized woman. You have to be open to changes in plans and please be flexible. If we get to a restaurant that can’t accommodate me, please don’t make a scene, that doesn’t help matters. You have to be aware that there are places that I don’t fit and plans may need to change quickly.

    9. If you are not open about your preference to your family and friends and feel the need to hide me, that won’t fly. I am not dumb and will realize what is happening and we will have a state of the union address. I am a loud and proud fat girl and I’ll be damned if I date anyone who is remotely ashamed to be with me.

    10. Finally, a relationship is give and take. I am one of the most loving and giving individuals you will meet. I am very compassionate and caring. If I am your girlfriend, I will be a friend, a lover, a confidant, and someone you can share your hopes and dreams. I will respect you. I will not lie or purposely hurt you. I will rejoice in your successes and help ease the agony of your defeats. However, I am no doormat and I expect to be treated with dignity and respect. I expect you to value my individuality and I will honor yours as well.
     
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  3. Feb 7, 2007 #23

    Carrie

    Carrie

    Carrie

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    Don't put me up on a pedestal. The look in your eyes, the tone of your voice when I come tumbling down shreds me to my core. Don't worship me - I don't want to be worshipped. Instead, love me, for all my idiosyncracies, faults and foibles. At the end of the day, I'm just a girl.
     
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  4. Feb 7, 2007 #24

    AnnMarie

    AnnMarie

    AnnMarie

    ✰cuddly and terrifying✰

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    I'm single and looking.














    (oh....and all the stuff the girls before me mentioned, too)
     
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  5. Feb 7, 2007 #25

    BigBeautifulMe

    BigBeautifulMe

    BigBeautifulMe

    That was a heart.

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    If there is a problem with the relationship, speak up and give me a chance to work on it with you. Don't keep it bottled up inside for over a year and then break up with me because I never read your mind and tried to solve it. Just as you're not mind readers, neither are we.

    Do NOT get angry or annoyed with us when we cry about something! That is the worst possible response you could have. If you're going to claim to be the "rational, logical" gender, then BE rational and logical and realize that our body chemistry is different and we are going to cry when we are upset. Don't ask us to be rational and logical at those moments in time. If you want that, date another man.

    If you want us to STOP crying, then don't try to solve our problem - some problems can't be solved. Comfort us, embrace us, tell us you love us and you're not going anywhere. If we want a solution, we'll ask.

    Cleaning and cooking are not woman's work, they are the work of both people in the household, especially if we're both working.

    Don't treat us differently around your buddies than you do when it's just you and I. Okay, you don't have to call me "schnookie wookums" when you're around your buds, but don't suddenly start acting as if you don't care about me. That just shows me what an ass you are, and I'm not going to put up with that for long.
     
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  6. Feb 7, 2007 #26

    activistfatgirl

    activistfatgirl

    activistfatgirl

    donuts at the finish line

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    If you ever want to date a woman like me, don't assume I'm like other women, and don't assume you're like other men, or that there are perfect delineations of what each should be.

    And you get bonus points with women like me if you: like boys, would kiss a boy, are open, have feelings, and don't say things like "all men act like this".
     
  7. Feb 7, 2007 #27

    Carrie

    Carrie

    Carrie

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    Thank you. I've never understood this mentality - I think it's the same as me telling a man TO cry, in order for us to have a conversation. Sure, I think some women overdo it and turn on the waterworks in order to manipulate, but believing that that's why we all do it is just kind of sad. We get wound up, we get emotional, and it has to go somewhere - voila! Tears.

    Men may find it annoying occasionally, understandably, but asking us to be what we're simply NOT is unreasonable. I wouldn't ask my mate to yell, or cry in order to express himself. If his style is to remain calm and logical and rational during times of stress, fine, I respect that. I would expect him to respect the way I express myself, as well, and not ask me to change. Edited to add: however, just as there are extremes in crying, there are extremes of the logical/rational thing, too! Both are bad.

    I've always found gender differences fascinating. Writing this, I'm sitting here wondering to myself if the whole crying thing *is* a product of our biology, or a product of our upbringing, or both. Little girls are expected to cry. Little boys are taught not to cry, and to be stoic and tough. So is the fact that we tend to cry when we get upset just a by-product of our being raised to feel like it's okay? Is it just a matter of feeling comfortable enough with expressing an emotion that outwardly that makes women more likely to cry? And for guys, are they just so "trained" that it's NOT okay, that it's practically inconceivable? I don't know, though I lean towards thinking it's a 50/50 mix of nature vs. nurture.

    I love thinking about this stuff. :)
     
  8. Feb 7, 2007 #28

    missaf

    missaf

    missaf

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    1- Every woman is different, and has her own built-in "I am a Woman" manual that you need to take the time to observe and decode. Don't stereotype us all together.

    2- I like to be friends first, but don't ever assume that being friends ends the road to a more intimate and forever relationship.

    3- If your girl's a Tomboy, don't forget she still likes to be made to feel like a woman. After she washes off the axel grease, she still might like to snuggle and be passionately pampered.
     
  9. Feb 7, 2007 #29

    babyjeep21

    babyjeep21

    babyjeep21

    Kamikaze Peanut Butter

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    I don't really consider myself a difficult person. I'm clear about what I need and what I want when I'm in a relationship.

    I like having something to look forward to and I'm absolutely giddy when a man follows through after saying he's going to do something.

    What I don't need, is to hear the word "soon". When a man says "soon", that doesn't give me a clear answer. I know that it's not intentionally evasive; but, it doesn't give me security, doesn't give me something to look forward to, it doesn't really do anything for me... Sometimes, I think men use the word "soon" as a way to pacify a woman.

    I don't mean to be anal... I just need a little something extra. And maybe that's not a bad thing.
     
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  10. Feb 7, 2007 #30

    Tina

    Tina

    Tina

    Older and wiser now

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    I think one of the biggest problems between the sexes is when each gender expects the other to behave like them. Men and woman simply are wired differently, for the most part. Some break the mold, but many do not. If you want a woman who acts like a man when it comes to issues of emotion and such, date a guy. Likewise for the women.
     
  11. Feb 7, 2007 #31

    Carrie

    Carrie

    Carrie

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    Yeah. I'm not too crazy about "soon", myself.
     
  12. Feb 7, 2007 #32

    Jane

    Jane

    Jane

    Photo (c) Fatlane

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    Guys, I think you all know this, but: Once you really open up and show that you analyze SOME things just as thoroughly as we do, don't try to play the "I want, I grunt" card. That works, Not So Much Anymore.

    When I ask you "What's Wrong" more than once, guess what, I've figured out that something is wrong. No, it may not be me (which you can say). If it's work, you can say, "Work." I'll offer to help, you say its something you have to work out. Voila...we know what is going on, it's nothing we've done, and we get that same, "Whew" reaction you do when you find out it's not you that's bothering us.

    I don't care if you cry, I won't think less of you (I'm not your Uncle Bobby telling you to buck up and quit acting like a girl). Just leave most of your baggage at the door, and come on in. ....That's what the ladies were saying when commenting about old girlfriends, exwives and the like.

    I am a strong, confident woman who really likes who I am. And, yes, there are times I will need reassurance. We all do. YOU do...

    You're not my father. I had one, I loved him, you are not him. Don't try to act like my you are my daddy, and we'll get a long for more than 2 minutes.

    Basically, I love men. I like the look of them, the smell of them, the maleness of them.
     
  13. Feb 7, 2007 #33

    Carrie

    Carrie

    Carrie

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    Don't try to be a superhero for me. It's admirable that you want to be the best version of YOU that you can be for me, but don't push me away because you feel like you don't deserve me until you reach your goals. I'm dating you, not your potential. Let me help you make that journey, and you can help me with mine.
     
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  14. Feb 7, 2007 #34

    babyjeep21

    babyjeep21

    babyjeep21

    Kamikaze Peanut Butter

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    Can I just get down and worship you for this post right now (even though you stated that you don't want to be worshipped in a previous post)? :p
     
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  15. Feb 7, 2007 #35

    Sandie_Zitkus

    Sandie_Zitkus

    Sandie_Zitkus

    In Rememberance In Remembrance

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    As a married woman this is what I want men (who are not my husband) to know:

    I'm married - I love my husband - don't come on to me.

    Don't tell me you just want friendship from me and the first chance you get - kiss me or grab my ass - or tell me you love me and want to make love to me. Please. If you are just my friend you will respect my marriage and our friendship.

    I love having male friends. But, telling me how beautiful I am and telling me how sexy I am every single time we talk is out of bounds.

    Be just my friend - if you wouldn't do it to your guy friends don't do it to me.

    The sad part of this for me is if you are important to me and I love you as a friend - all of the things I listed will lead me to ending our friendship. And it will break my heart. If you really do love me - why would you want to hurt me???
     
  16. Feb 7, 2007 #36

    calauria

    calauria

    calauria

    La Negra Hermosa

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    1. Don't get all Dr. Phil on me when I vent about a problem. I know you are trying to help, but I only need your support, In other words shut up and listen. LOL!!

    2. Did I mention don't bother me while I'm sleeping? LOL!!

    3. Don't make me give up my girls night or weekend out!! We ain't thinking about men around that time, so find something to occupy yourself!! LOL!!

    4. Don't expect me to iron your clothes, cuz I ain't doing it. I don't iron my own clothes. I hang them up as soon as the dry stops. I'll do that for you though.:wubu:

    5. When you're having male PMS, I'm disappearing until it subsides, cuz I'm not trying to hear it.

    6. I'm not about to argue with no man.

    7. I'm not about to argue with no man.

    8. I'm not about to argue with no man. That's too much stress!!! LOL!!


    I think I'll have more later!! LOL!!
     
  17. Feb 7, 2007 #37

    Carrie

    Carrie

    Carrie

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    I said I didn't want to be worshipped by men. Women, sure. Worship away. :batting:
     
  18. Feb 7, 2007 #38

    fatgirlflyin

    fatgirlflyin

    fatgirlflyin

    needs a vacation

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    Its ok if you want to cry, I'm capable of being strong enough for the both of us.

    Its ok for you to show fear, I can be brave.

    Its ok for you to be silly sometimes. I can be silly right along with you or I can be the level headed one.

    And you know when we go out to eat? Its ok to order for me (I'm one of the wierd girls that like that). Because when you order correctly and you order what I like it shows me that you listen, that you pay attention to my likes, and my dislikes. That makes me feel all girly, and sometimes feeling that way, that's just kinda nice...
     
  19. Feb 7, 2007 #39

    ripley

    ripley

    ripley

    In Remembrance

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    Self-esteem:


    Just because I don't spend all day telling everyone how hot I am doesn't mean I have bad self-esteem. Some of us just have a quieter (and in my opinion, more genuine) self-image.

    Don't assume that if I make a self-deprecating remark (usually 'cause I think it sounds funny) that I have bad self-esteem.

    Just because there might be something about myself that I don't like, doesn't mean I think I'm not sexy, or worthwhile.

    I like genuine compliments. But don't try to "save" me or enlighten me or prop me up with your compliments. I hear in the other thread (haha rainyday, got around your "For Men Only" rule) "don't try to change me"....well, don't try to change me either, even if in your opinion it's for the better.



    Chat Interaction:


    Don't PM me and say the exact same thing you've said to the last ten girls you've messaged on the sidebar. I'm an individual, and bulk mailings aren't the way to go. Say something that makes me think you see me as an individual.

    You make me feel like crap when you PM me and then tell me how hot some other woman's pic is on the sidebar, or how sexy you find some paysite woman.

    "I wish I could rub your belly" is a skeevy thing to say to a stranger. Period.




    Random things:


    Sometimes I cry. You don't have to do anything, solve anything, fix anything, or feel guilty about anything when I cry, but it would be nice if you hugged me and said "Shhh, it's okay." It's one of those little things that will make me love you. Sometimes girls just gotta cry.

    Don't put in so much effort in the beginning to make me love you if it's not things you want to keep doing. I get used to it, and then when you stop I feel like everything has changed, and feel ignored or unloved.

    Just because I need reassurance that you love me sometimes doesn't mean I doubt you; it means I doubt myself. I need to know you still find me interesting and sexy.

    Sometimes I'm irrational. I know that. Just try to ride it out the best you can. :p If you want someone completely rational all the time...well, that's not me.
     
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  20. Feb 7, 2007 #40

    liz (di-va)

    liz (di-va)

    liz (di-va)

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    I have a theory, a very deeply-held pet theory, that Disappearing, like much (to be honest) hurtful male behavior, has its roots in the chivalrous instinct gone awry. They don't wanna be the ones to hurt you; they're supposed to be the ones saving you. Helping you. So they can't handle it. When stuff happens that makes them mad at you, or things are unmanageable, or whatever. It doesn't make this behavior any easier, especially over the age of, say, 18, when you should maybe know better, but I think that's where it comes from. It's what makes Southern men, therefore, especially tricky :) (if you ask me). Have seen it happen quite a bit ("seen" = had it break my heart! but not just me).

    That's my theory and I'm stickin to it. I think. Just not sure what to do about it...
     

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