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tonynyc

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I would read what you wrote except I have you on ignore.....talk to the hand!


Greenie: "The Hand" if there was ever one phrase that speaks John Cena- that was it. :D

I'm sure you don't mind the addition- after all Cena is "Shoulders" and "Biceps" above the rest....


John_Cena_488852a.jpg


"You Can't See Me!!!!


CenavacileoIncreible.gif


.
 

Paquito

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But, he said EXACTLY the same thing on the thread!!!! Except for the "i'm using my restraint not posting this on the forum"!! Did you NOT read that!!!

Mer, if you tell anyone to fuck off, I'm going to be severely upset, got it?

You just got back love, I'm still healing over here! :kiss2:
 

mergirl

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And it's been removed. It's not allowed.

Thats fair enough, the only reason i posted it was because it was Exactly the same as he posted here.. there was nothing else to share except for the fact he added he wouldn't post it!? Which was pretty confusing. :confused:
 

mergirl

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Mer, if you tell anyone to fuck off, I'm going to be severely upset, got it?

You just got back love, I'm still healing over here! :kiss2:

This was a genuine mistake, i thought posting a PM which was identical to a forum post would be ok. No fuck offs today. :p
 

Surlysomething

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But, he said EXACTLY the same thing on the thread!!!! Except for the "i'm using my restraint not posting this on the forum"!! Did you NOT read that!!!

I had just mentioned the pm thing on my own and I saw your post. It got me all riled up. Haha. No hard feelings. :bow:
 

Miss Vickie

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Vickie, my mentioning my Mom was not me doing anything than what I did. I would never use her that way.

I know, Mossy. I don't think I was accusing you, and in fact as someone who lost per parents after long illness I definitely wasn't accusing you. Rather, though, there are those who carry it a step further and use it as a sort of armor and battering ram to say "You can't say anything negative to me because of x, y or z" while they go about actively harming others. My point was that we all have pain, and we should try to cut each other a little slack. You lost your mom. I had cancer, and still deal with a potentially disabling disease, and the little girl I'm caring for runs the very real risk of losing her baby. It all sucks.

Pain, when it is always being used as an excuse, is not a good thing.

Exactly. None of us should use our experiences as a bludgeon. That was the point I was trying to make, not that you had done anything wrong because I never see you hide behind your grief and pain or use it as an excuse to hurt others.

But what LoveBHMS said shouldn't have seen the light of day. There are lots of things that go around in my head that shouldn't be said outright because at the moment they're mean spirited or downright nasty.

I agree, and I can't remember exactly how the whole thing came to light but sharing of personal messages should not be treated lightly. Unfortunately, it ain't up to me who punished and isn't, who is allowed to stay and who should go. I have seen some pretty predatory behavior be allowed to continue here and it disappoints me, but I have to believe that there's more going on behind the scenes that I'm not aware of.

I hate the thought of feederism, I despise the paysite board and cankles give me the fear. I feel that way for many reasons. Am I saying you can't enjoy them? Hell no. But I should be able to voice my opinion on it anytime I feel like. We're all adults.

We are one in this, and I agree that we should be able to say what it is we feel. However, we also have to understand that *if* those thoughts are given the light of day -- whether through malice or not -- we should "own" them and take what lumps may occur. I'll give BHM's credit in that she's stuck it out here and taken her lumps when others would have (and could have) left in a puff of smoke. That takes courage, I think.

i agree, there is so much you and i see, and truly, it does make an impact on me, i find i am so much quicker to say thank you and i am so much quicker to empathize due to what i see....our lives change in the blink of an eye, and i choose to try and remember the good :) (which is sometimes damn hard)

Yep. It is damn hard, but I think that unlike a lot of our sister nurses who become hardened, you and I are if anything softer and emotionally squishier, and a lot more empathetic. I'd like to think that we're doing it "right" but it sure as hell isn't easy!

At Dimensions in particular, we all need attention and support that as "outsiders" to the mainstream culture we may feel we've not found elsewhere--not to mention that each of us is an individual with a distinct personality or set of needs. And when we feel like the needs of others infringe on our getting our own needs met, many feel that we have to speak up and remind others that we're here, too, and deserve to be counted. The key is in how we do that speaking up, maybe.

Yes. This is why I hold my friends here to a higher standard when it comes to "acceptance", a term I catch a lot of shit in using when it's related to size acceptance. We're so quick to dump on others who are different and want acceptance, when here we are, asking society to accept us and OUR differences.

For my part, it's always a matter of trying to find a balance between being assertive and making myself heard, and letting others do in kind. I know that I don't always find that balance, but I make it a priority to try to do so.

Yes, especially when as a culture women aren't really supported in being strongly passionate and verbal about something. Terms like "hysterical" or "strident" are used to describe women who are passionate and vocal about things, when men would be perceived in a much more positive light. It's very difficult for we as women -- and fat women at that -- to find our voice and speak our truth.

Quoted for coolness:

If I can, without being considered precious hopefully, let me quote one of my favorite fables that illustrate what I mean:

A man was rowing his boat upstream on a very misty morning. Suddenly, he saw another boat coming downstream, not trying to avoid him. It was coming straight at him. He shouted, "Be careful! Be careful!" but the boat came right into him, and his boat was almost sunk.

The man became very angry, and began to shout at the other person, to give him a piece of his mind. But when the mist parted and he looked closely, he saw that there was no one in the other boat.

It turned out that the boat had just got loose and gone downstream. All of the man's anger vanished, and he laughed and laughed.


In the particular tradition of wisdom that produced this story, the man in the boat is sometimes said to stand for the ego that thinks it is in charge of where the boat eventually goes. Looking closely, it's easy to see that ego actually has relatively little control over what happens in the world around us--even over what happens to us directly. Ego thinks it's entirely responsible for steering us to safety regularly, so pleased with itself that it fails to recognize the entirety of what may cause another "boat's" behavior, not to mention the way that an immensity of factors plays in the fate of ego's own "boat." Ego only wants to be in control of its world, reality be damned.

So I think we're all like boats in a fog anytime we interact, somewhat at the mercy of forces much larger than ourselves, with ego trying to steer things and wanting passionately to get to where it wants or needs to go. But no matter how fervently my ego tries to steer me in certain directions, the fact is, there's a lot that's out of my control. In that respect, we're all in exactly the same boat (hehe). For me, that's something wroth remembering daily. If I can keep my ego in check and let it do its proper job of trying to steer me along on a raging river--of making sure that there's a place in the world for me, too--while not thinking that the ego always knows what's best (or that the ego is ALL there is about me), or that in spite of ego's best effort I'm guaranteed to get my way... maybe then I have a chance at not making a complete ass of myself.

Maybe.

:p

Thanks! You've given me a lot to think about!
 

Green Eyed Fairy

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tonynyc

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That was a good show.

Yep - I'm quite surprized that they did not do a remake (probably all for the better) can't wreck a true classic and a nice theme song too...

Some interesting facts about Richard Boone "Paladin" -

1. He was a descendent of Daniel Boone
2. He was a Collegiate Boxing Champion
3. The show was not your typical Western and would deal with some of the social issues of the time and I believe Gene Roddenberry (Star Trek fame) was one of the writers during the 2d season.

Ballad of Paladin Sung by Johnny Western


Closing Credits Have Gun Will Travel
 

Tragdor

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I want the lunch money of everyone in this thread, right now. Noncompliance will be met with uses of "purple nurple", "hurts sontit", and even the dreaded "Indian burn"
 

superodalisque

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Having come & gone on several occasions over the past 12+ years, there are things that I have noticed in both participating on the boards, and as a reader during my lurking time.

First, this is a tough place. Other forums that discuss fat sexuality, fat acceptance, fat porn, all of them on different occasions have described this community as tough. Anyone who has ventured from here has seen it, and those who come here from other forums feel it. Some of us wear the toughness like a badge of honor.

That toughness, in some cases, can be perceived as bullying. Several respondents here have acknowledged that toughness, and even admitted in some cases they need to win every argument here. I will admit to doing so as well.

We judge people here by the few sentences we get to read from them. We judge. Do we feel we should be judged by a few sentences we utter here?

Several weeks ago, I received a warning, and was reported to the mods for making several comments that appeared to be racist, and they were made to a person of color. My intent was not to be racist at all, some statements made to my wife several weeks before his postings here, and seeing his private comments to her, and then his postings on the board, I made the interaction between us very personal. Anyone who knows me knows I'm not racist to any degree. I just needed to get under this guy's skin, and I succeeded, but not without getting away with at the very least a warning that Conrad doesn't tolerate racism in Dimensions.

Point being made here is that we are all multi faceted individuals. This corner of our world is not what our entire life is made up of (at least I hope not).

So Mossystate has been accused of being a bully.......OK, so that is one facet of how some may see her. So, recently, I confided a private matter to her, with the result being an extremely compassionate answer from her. Did it surprise me, based on our previous board interaction? I think my answer has to be I don't know, since other than what she says on the boards, I know little about her. I do know that I appreciated what she said privately to me in response, and I know that friendships, no matter how loosely that term is construed, are based on understanding who that person is, and how they arrive at their conclusions about things. Also, an appreciation of their humanness helps as well.

The same thing can be said of others I've disagreed with in the past, whether it was TraciJo, or LoveBHMS, or William, or T-Devil or Uncanny Bruceman. I've never felt bullied, despite hearing that others felt bullied by some of the names that I've mentioned.

I'm not saying that we need to agree here on everything, I'm not even saying we need to be cordial, but when someone utters a comment that seems so foreign to how you may think, don't you want to at least look at how they came to that conclusion before setting your turrets on them?

Maybe we need another forum.......YES, another one, where we can actually talk about who we are, our lives, what we do, what makes us tick, and no, I don't mean Hyde Park. Maybe if we really got to know all of us a little better........

One of the advantages of running the New Jersey Bash is that we've been a catalyst for bringing together people from many different forums besides Dimensions. I enjoy interacting with everyone whether they are from Fantasy Feeder (even though I don't share the views of most feeders), The Fat Forums (mostly a porn related site), BBW Chat Zone, Curvage, Thick BBW Forums, and the rest. I try to see what we all have in common (besides fat, and whatever goes along with that), rather than looking at what separates us. Doing this for the past few years has helped change my outlook, and I wish all of you could get to these types of events to feel the real sense of community that I have the opportunity to be part of.

I will always be grateful to my bash partner Bernadette (bigsexy920) for helping to change my outlook on things. I've been a dick and a bully on these forums in the past. I've learned to temper my comments, and save my thoughts for when I can have face to face dialogue with people, when it can really count.

i love this post too!!! i think when people here have the chance to look each other in the eye the can see something they can't see here on the boards. the main thing being that people really don't hate you the way you think they might. thats why i love it when people can manage to get to events. maybe we should work harder on having regional get togethers so that everyone will ha a chance to at least get to know the people who live within reasonable reach.

i just want to say to mossy: please excuse me for getting so pissed off at you the other night. i really do respect a lot of points you make though i don't always agree with how you might make em-- lets continue grating on each others nerves like nails on a chalkboard ;) people find it entertaining anyway.
 

stan_der_man

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Having come & gone on several occasions over the past 12+ years, there are things that I have noticed in both participating on the boards, and as a reader during my lurking time.

First, this is a tough place. Other forums that discuss fat sexuality, fat acceptance, fat porn, all of them on different occasions have described this community as tough. Anyone who has ventured from here has seen it, and those who come here from other forums feel it. Some of us wear the toughness like a badge of honor.

That toughness, in some cases, can be perceived as bullying. Several respondents here have acknowledged that toughness, and even admitted in some cases they need to win every argument here. I will admit to doing so as well.

We judge people here by the few sentences we get to read from them. We judge. Do we feel we should be judged by a few sentences we utter here?

Several weeks ago, I received a warning, and was reported to the mods for making several comments that appeared to be racist, and they were made to a person of color. My intent was not to be racist at all, some statements made to my wife several weeks before his postings here, and seeing his private comments to her, and then his postings on the board, I made the interaction between us very personal. Anyone who knows me knows I'm not racist to any degree. I just needed to get under this guy's skin, and I succeeded, but not without getting away with at the very least a warning that Conrad doesn't tolerate racism in Dimensions.

Point being made here is that we are all multi faceted individuals. This corner of our world is not what our entire life is made up of (at least I hope not).

So Mossystate has been accused of being a bully.......OK, so that is one facet of how some may see her. So, recently, I confided a private matter to her, with the result being an extremely compassionate answer from her. Did it surprise me, based on our previous board interaction? I think my answer has to be I don't know, since other than what she says on the boards, I know little about her. I do know that I appreciated what she said privately to me in response, and I know that friendships, no matter how loosely that term is construed, are based on understanding who that person is, and how they arrive at their conclusions about things. Also, an appreciation of their humanness helps as well.

The same thing can be said of others I've disagreed with in the past, whether it was TraciJo, or LoveBHMS, or William, or T-Devil or Uncanny Bruceman. I've never felt bullied, despite hearing that others felt bullied by some of the names that I've mentioned.

I'm not saying that we need to agree here on everything, I'm not even saying we need to be cordial, but when someone utters a comment that seems so foreign to how you may think, don't you want to at least look at how they came to that conclusion before setting your turrets on them?

Maybe we need another forum.......YES, another one, where we can actually talk about who we are, our lives, what we do, what makes us tick, and no, I don't mean Hyde Park. Maybe if we really got to know all of us a little better........

One of the advantages of running the New Jersey Bash is that we've been a catalyst for bringing together people from many different forums besides Dimensions. I enjoy interacting with everyone whether they are from Fantasy Feeder (even though I don't share the views of most feeders), The Fat Forums (mostly a porn related site), BBW Chat Zone, Curvage, Thick BBW Forums, and the rest. I try to see what we all have in common (besides fat, and whatever goes along with that), rather than looking at what separates us. Doing this for the past few years has helped change my outlook, and I wish all of you could get to these types of events to feel the real sense of community that I have the opportunity to be part of.

I will always be grateful to my bash partner Bernadette (bigsexy920) for helping to change my outlook on things. I've been a dick and a bully on these forums in the past. I've learned to temper my comments, and save my thoughts for when I can have face to face dialogue with people, when it can really count.

Again, I think this post best sums up the subject! Kudos to you Phil as always! And reiterating what you said Superodalisque... I've also had my disagreements with Mossy, but I always try to walk away from these encounters having learned something and you know what... I actually have learned things from her. I don't necessarily agree, but I do now understand another perspective which I didn't before.
 

superodalisque

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Bleh, and I'm about to engage in the same sad behavior just now. When I was talking about being called a bully I really didn't mean you as the accuser. In fact I had no idea you had ever done so, so now I'm going to have to go look and see if I can sputter indignantly there. I was mainly talking about Ernest Nagel and T Devil. Didn't want to mention names but it's probably better at this juncture. The other two people, Superodalisque and Swordchick, were making broad generalized statements about bullying in a thread where I was the main antagonist so I assumed it was an indirect way of addressing me though of course I'm not certain. Saying their names seemed unfair under the circumstances but if I'm going to have people suspicious anyway I may as well narrow it down some. Anyone else who's been calling me a bully can continue to do so, I haven't caught on yet.

? ! you never crossed my mind! i just wanted you to know that. we disagree sometimes and you call me on stuff but i never felt ridiculed or disrespected by you. you are blunt and direct with me but you've never called me a name. i have actually thought about what you had to say and you've helped me to modify some of my opinions. i know you've had your moments but so have i. anybody can lose thier temper in here. but its not an everyday all of the time kind of thing with you. i don't think people have been leaving dims because they are tired of your posts. i know a lot of people who have gotten sick of people and left. your name never comes up that way.

if you feel you might be touched by some things people have said maybe you want to think about it? i don't know. all i can say is i don't feel that most of your posts are about attacking people and totally dehumanizing them more times than not. its true, i'm not that intent on tallying up the things people say. i don't rep people as much as i should etc... its only if they tend to create an overall atmosphere where people are often afraid to talk openly and honestly about how they feel and the issue we are trying to talk about gets over run by it that it bothers me. thats not my general opinion of you at all. i don't feel you try to stop every respectful and inquisitive conversation that people are trying to start with some kind of subtrafuge. but i don't really monitor the forums and i don't know what everyone is doing all of the time.

i have to tell the truth. i baited people in my first post just to see who would respond. the reason i did that was to find out if people already felt they might really be going too far more often than not. i wanted to know if they actually knew they were demeaning to people or not and whether they cared. did they honestly think what they were doing was constructive or educational? i really can't assume too much about people i really don't know. so i wanted them to tell me something about themselves in a way. thats why i didn't name names. i didn't really have anyone in particular in mind. needless to say i've learned a lot. god knows we have all done things and said things on here that we regret--or i hope we regret them. i kind of set the same trap on another forum too. the same people fell for it not once but twice --here and elsewhere. you see i think people who are into bullying know they are bullies already. they don't even have to think twice when someone brings up the term bully. they know full well who they are and don't even wonder. its no secret. and, just like the ones on the playground they don't care even when people tell them it hurts. then again there are some of us who get a little too rough on the playground from time to time in the heat of play. there is a difference between the two. i think we are more like the last group myself. the fact that you had to wonder if other people felt you were a bully might tell you a lot. there are folks who already know they are. they don't have to wonder.
 
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