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MamaLisa

Mama Is Extraloveable!
Joined
Apr 2, 2008
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758
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Just wondering if there's anything wrong with finding a date at the Wal Mart, or library, or any other place in real life.
In australia... stick thin is very in.. and 99% of guys want stick thin.. so going out to find someone in real life.. is not reality. Tried and tried again :(

PS: we dont have walmart here hahahahhahaha
 

Prince Dyscord

Well-Known Member
Joined
Jul 1, 2007
Messages
120
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Hey Wrestlingguy, I wish things were that simple. In this day and age, how many people would be really freaked out by a relative stranger approaching them and asking them out ....albeit after some informal chit chat and even then, only for a coffee? I'm not sure if it's a Urban Texas thing or a "whole of the U.S.thing" as since coming to this country, I have not been outside Texas!
Hence my putting ad's on a dating site. Oh well.
It works surprisingly well. That's how I met my wife. Saw her at the mall, walked up to her and started a conversation. This is after browsing dating sites and talking to a few people online.
 

KerryNation

Inkblot
Joined
Jan 3, 2007
Messages
68
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Heh. I'm in the same boat as the OP is, except I'm in Oregon. Doesn't help that I'm painfully shy and cannot ever find the right words to say to introduce myself....so it just looks like I'm creepily staring at a girl, when all i'm really doing is trying to work my nerve up to say "hi.".

DAMN this timid streak!
 

bdog

Well-Known Member
Joined
Oct 5, 2005
Messages
314
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Ehh.. inernet dating is OK but what happens if you see a really special gal out and about on the street? You may not get a second chance. Hence, the following blurb:

Approaching women comes naturally for some, and is really difficult for others. I used to be horrible at it, and I've gotten much better with some effort. Not all women were raised with manners so whatever you do don't internalize their reactions. If a girl, any girl, were nervous and sorta fumbling as she attempted to talk to me I'd probably smile and touch her on the arm to make her feel better. Don't expect the same treatment from most women. They want a man, after all, and while you know you've got strength within you've got to make that externally visible first.

The key is just to practice. Once you get shot down a few times you learn that it's not that big of a deal, and once you figure that out, you'll be more relaxed and your success rate will improve. Personally I don't even think it's a bad idea to go in just assuming you'll get shot down. Fuck 'em. Fuck it. Later, try the reverse and just assume you've got the date or number or whatever your goal is. Also, be indirect (unthreatening), or be incredibly direct (can be quite powerful), but nothing in between. Hmm... don't stand too close, and as a general rule don't stay too long. Practice on girls you're not interested in just for the sake of interacting with people. Yesterday I was at a clothing store so I decided to ask a couple of girls which coat they prefer... little things like that. If you're a total baby you can flirt with baristas, but come on, they've got no place to go.

Anyway, with any luck you'll be too busy dating to worry about dating sites. ;) Hah... well, I'm still looking, but if I do see someone that intrigues me I think it's safe to say the odds of getting her are better now that I know that I'll approach anyone I feel like approaching.

Gentleman, knock 'em dead.
 

Tau

IXAMXDECADENCE
Joined
Feb 23, 2009
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I've been reading all the posts and it made think over my own life and I actually got pretty bleak. In all my 26 years on the planet - roughly 10 of which were when I was at the age of sexual consent - exactly 2 real life, met them on the street guys, have asked me out in a decent way. Both were charming, attractive and a ton of fun - but also in a relationship with somebody else and, turns out, only interested in a mistress :( It makes me bleak cos I'm sure fat people before the invention of the internet had relationships that didn't begin as virtual flirting?! There's nothing wrong with online dating - I've used it and enjoyed and, as somebody said earlier, once you wade through the creeps and bootycalls, you can really meet some amazing people. But wouldn't it be absolutely lovely if I, as a fat girl in a very thin concious society, could meet a genuinely single, lovely man who would take me out and not expect sex after 5 minutes or for me to be thrilled that he's asked me to be his second wife *sigh*
 

KerryNation

Inkblot
Joined
Jan 3, 2007
Messages
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I've been reading all the posts and it made think over my own life and I actually got pretty bleak. In all my 26 years on the planet - roughly 10 of which were when I was at the age of sexual consent - exactly 2 real life, met them on the street guys, have asked me out in a decent way. Both were charming, attractive and a ton of fun - but also in a relationship with somebody else and, turns out, only interested in a mistress :( It makes me bleak cos I'm sure fat people before the invention of the internet had relationships that didn't begin as virtual flirting?! There's nothing wrong with online dating - I've used it and enjoyed and, as somebody said earlier, once you wade through the creeps and bootycalls, you can really meet some amazing people. But wouldn't it be absolutely lovely if I, as a fat girl in a very thin concious society, could meet a genuinely single, lovely man who would take me out and not expect sex after 5 minutes or for me to be thrilled that he's asked me to be his second wife *sigh*
Sounds like you and I have the same goals, LOL! My friends all give me grief because I'm not out every Friday night trying to "get laid" or "find a f*** buddy", as they put it. They don't understand that THAT's not what I'm looking for, really. I want to meet a nice BBW, who has the same interests as me, you know? They don't understand that the LAST thing I want is some skinny club girl blowing her beer breath in my face as I help her to my car....where she promptly hurls all over the interior.

THEY can have THAT kind of girl. I'm looking for someone else.
 

olwen

Disco Bear
Joined
Feb 22, 2008
Messages
6,945
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Ehh.. inernet dating is OK but what happens if you see a really special gal out and about on the street? You may not get a second chance. Hence, the following blurb:

Approaching women comes naturally for some, and is really difficult for others. I used to be horrible at it, and I've gotten much better with some effort. Not all women were raised with manners so whatever you do don't internalize their reactions. If a girl, any girl, were nervous and sorta fumbling as she attempted to talk to me I'd probably smile and touch her on the arm to make her feel better. Don't expect the same treatment from most women. They want a man, after all, and while you know you've got strength within you've got to make that externally visible first.

The key is just to practice. Once you get shot down a few times you learn that it's not that big of a deal, and once you figure that out, you'll be more relaxed and your success rate will improve. Personally I don't even think it's a bad idea to go in just assuming you'll get shot down. Fuck 'em. Fuck it. Later, try the reverse and just assume you've got the date or number or whatever your goal is. Also, be indirect (unthreatening), or be incredibly direct (can be quite powerful), but nothing in between. Hmm... don't stand too close, and as a general rule don't stay too long. Practice on girls you're not interested in just for the sake of interacting with people. Yesterday I was at a clothing store so I decided to ask a couple of girls which coat they prefer... little things like that. If you're a total baby you can flirt with baristas, but come on, they've got no place to go.

Anyway, with any luck you'll be too busy dating to worry about dating sites. ;) Hah... well, I'm still looking, but if I do see someone that intrigues me I think it's safe to say the odds of getting her are better now that I know that I'll approach anyone I feel like approaching.

Gentleman, knock 'em dead.
I can't believe I'm about to say this, but I recommend that everybody read
"The Game" by Neil Strauss. There's a lot of stuff that will make you cringe, but buried under all the silly woman chasing antics are really practical tips for how to build up your own confidence (despite how you look) without coming off as a jackass, and how talk to women, not just how to pick them up. One of the things Strauss says is to expect to be shot down and to just see that as practice. Another thing he says is to learn how to read body language (which is good to know on it's own) as it pertains to female sexuality.

Even if no one gets anything useful out of it, it's still a fun read.
 
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AnotherJessica

Well-Known Member
Joined
Jun 18, 2008
Messages
228
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I'm not really comfortable with giving Facebook un
I've been reading all the posts and it made think over my own life and I actually got pretty bleak. In all my 26 years on the planet - roughly 10 of which were when I was at the age of sexual consent - exactly 2 real life, met them on the street guys, have asked me out in a decent way. Both were charming, attractive and a ton of fun - but also in a relationship with somebody else and, turns out, only interested in a mistress :( It makes me bleak cos I'm sure fat people before the invention of the internet had relationships that didn't begin as virtual flirting?! There's nothing wrong with online dating - I've used it and enjoyed and, as somebody said earlier, once you wade through the creeps and bootycalls, you can really meet some amazing people. But wouldn't it be absolutely lovely if I, as a fat girl in a very thin concious society, could meet a genuinely single, lovely man who would take me out and not expect sex after 5 minutes or for me to be thrilled that he's asked me to be his second wife *sigh*

You are SO cute! I hope you find what you're looking for.

It's funny because whenever somebody flirts with me when I'm out with friends or something like that, I just assume that they have that flirty type of personality and not that they might actually be interested. I'm also really shy so that doesn't help.
 

Tau

IXAMXDECADENCE
Joined
Feb 23, 2009
Messages
1,307
Location
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Sounds like you and I have the same goals, LOL! My friends all give me grief because I'm not out every Friday night trying to "get laid" or "find a f*** buddy", as they put it. They don't understand that THAT's not what I'm looking for, really. I want to meet a nice BBW, who has the same interests as me, you know? They don't understand that the LAST thing I want is some skinny club girl blowing her beer breath in my face as I help her to my car....where she promptly hurls all over the interior.

THEY can have THAT kind of girl. I'm looking for someone else.
Why, oh why, do you live on the other side of the world? *sigh*
 

Tau

IXAMXDECADENCE
Joined
Feb 23, 2009
Messages
1,307
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You are SO cute! I hope you find what you're looking for.

It's funny because whenever somebody flirts with me when I'm out with friends or something like that, I just assume that they have that flirty type of personality and not that they might actually be interested. I'm also really shy so that doesn't help.
LOL! Thanks chick :) I feel you on the shy bit though. I'm desperately shy and the kind of work i do has forced me out of my shell professionally but in my personal life I'd still rather dance with the girls than flirt over drinks. I'm totally in awe of fat girls who've mastered the art of flirtation. When I like a guy its almost a guarantee I'll stalk him from afar and then be rendered dorkily speechless the moment he tries to talk to me :doh:
 

jewels_mystery

Urban Hippie
Joined
Feb 11, 2008
Messages
765
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Thank God I was born a girl. I don't have the backbone that men have in terms of going up to a stranger and asking them out. That said, its all about the approach. If a guy approaches me the wrong way, I will think that he's a creep or something. You can never go wrong commenting on a woman's smile. What kills me are the ones that you think are checking you out but never say a word. uggh
 

disconnectedsmile

RATING: AWESOME
Joined
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Thank God I was born a girl. I don't have the backbone that men have in terms of going up to a stranger and asking them out.
where does this old-fashioned scenario put guys like me? :confused:
frankly, i am sick to death of the status quo that says a girl can't ask out a boy. personally, i am far too shy to really go up to a girl, no matter how attractive, and say "hi, i'm charlie, you're attractive, want to get coffee sometime, etc." i have sometimes in the past, but even then i was a nervous wreck.
it's the 21st century, damnit. it's more than okay for girls to hit on boys.
 

jewels_mystery

Urban Hippie
Joined
Feb 11, 2008
Messages
765
Location
, Female
where does this old-fashioned scenario put guys like me? :confused:
frankly, i am sick to death of the status quo that says a girl can't ask out a boy. personally, i am far too shy to really go up to a girl, no matter how attractive, and say "hi, i'm charlie, you're attractive, want to get coffee sometime, etc." i have sometimes in the past, but even then i was a nervous wreck.
it's the 21st century, damnit. it's more than okay for girls to hit on boys.
Call it old fashioned if you will. I don't ever see myself going up and asking a guy out. Now if we are friends already, that's a different story. I asked my girlfriends about this, none have asked a guy out.
 

sugarmoore

jiggles when she giggles
Joined
Jan 15, 2009
Messages
521
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dating is difficult period! when i go online, no one lives in my area or they are married or they are creepy. in person no one ever approaches me! the few in person dates ive made, ive had to ask him out, not that there is anythiong wrong with that. but i like to be approached! i dont think any woman would freak out if approached genuinely. mabye you guys shouldnt be so afraid of a lil innocent rejection if it means you might get a date every now and then
 

gaffo

Active Member
Joined
Mar 31, 2008
Messages
26
Location
,
Ehh.. inernet dating is OK but what happens if you see a really special gal out and about on the street? You may not get a second chance. Hence, the following blurb:

Approaching women comes naturally for some, and is really difficult for others. I used to be horrible at it, and I've gotten much better with some effort. Not all women were raised with manners so whatever you do don't internalize their reactions. If a girl, any girl, were nervous and sorta fumbling as she attempted to talk to me I'd probably smile and touch her on the arm to make her feel better. Don't expect the same treatment from most women. They want a man, after all, and while you know you've got strength within you've got to make that externally visible first.

The key is just to practice. Once you get shot down a few times you learn that it's not that big of a deal, and once you figure that out, you'll be more relaxed and your success rate will improve. Personally I don't even think it's a bad idea to go in just assuming you'll get shot down. Fuck 'em. Fuck it. Later, try the reverse and just assume you've got the date or number or whatever your goal is. Also, be indirect (unthreatening), or be incredibly direct (can be quite powerful), but nothing in between. Hmm... don't stand too close, and as a general rule don't stay too long. Practice on girls you're not interested in just for the sake of interacting with people. Yesterday I was at a clothing store so I decided to ask a couple of girls which coat they prefer... little things like that. If you're a total baby you can flirt with baristas, but come on, they've got no place to go.

Anyway, with any luck you'll be too busy dating to worry about dating sites. ;) Hah... well, I'm still looking, but if I do see someone that intrigues me I think it's safe to say the odds of getting her are better now that I know that I'll approach anyone I feel like approaching.

Gentleman, knock 'em dead.

Excellent advice Sir!

Basically advocating desensitization. I especially like your advice to small talk to women youa re not interested in. I started doing that a few years ago in order to "Cure" my shyness. I have done so, but it did take years.

Even starting small talk with guys helps in the whole socialize thing.

- oh ya, of course when I see a women that really turns me on, it is not the same as women that I'm not attracted to and so it is still alot harder to walk up and start small talk. I try to think of her as "my sister" as much as I can and try not to mentally fixate on her figure as I talk to her. that helps a little.

- try all avenues and opportunities no mater how remote, one never knows when fortune decides to smile on you!
 

gaffo

Active Member
Joined
Mar 31, 2008
Messages
26
Location
,
where does this old-fashioned scenario put guys like me? :confused:
frankly, i am sick to death of the status quo that says a girl can't ask out a boy. personally, i am far too shy to really go up to a girl, no matter how attractive, and say "hi, i'm charlie, you're attractive, want to get coffee sometime, etc." i have sometimes in the past, but even then i was a nervous wreck.
it's the 21st century, damnit. it's more than okay for girls to hit on boys.

There is a "trick" that works pretty well. If you've seen the movie "Dark Blue World" one guy in that movie mentions the same trick.

Women will welcome a plea for help. So if you are in say Walmart, and you see a lady you are interested in, note the section she is in and what she's shopping for. Ask her for a recommendation.

For example, she's looking a yogurt, you go over there and look like you are a little confused, tell her that you are trying to eat better and not too knowledge about about yogurt, ask her what brand is the best.

I know it sounds corny and maybe a little disshonest - but if done in a non-creepy way she will almost certianly know that you are using the "help" thing as a crutch in order to get to know her. This way, if she is not interested niether person looses face and you get your yogert recommendation and you both go your separate ways. If she is interested, you have the foundation to work with where if you can start a little small talk you are good to go.

just 2 -cents. not like I'm a playboy or anything (FAR FAR from it!)
 

Green Eyed Fairy

Keeps on dancing
Joined
Sep 18, 2006
Messages
18,443
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In Your Head
Believe it or not, I found some nice dates on Craigs List.....just be strong in your wording as to exactly what you want...and be prepared to dig through the responses to find the few that you might be interested in.
Perhaps try answering a few CL ads? I prefer to make my own ad, though, and let them come to me ;)
 
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