So, I do a little writing and am working on a stand up comedy piece ... Goes like this
"Let's talk about something that everyone does, but not too many people talk about.
And get your minds out of the gutter, not talking about masturbation, but we could have a field day with that right?"
"Would go something like this:"
"Honey what are you doing in there?"
"Nothing, (and it's not HIM in the bathroom either ...)"