Girlfriend wants to lose weight but I don’t want her to. How can I change my attitude?

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Wannabe.papabear

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My girlfriend and I are in a bit of a rough patch. She knows I’m a feeder and an FA, and initially was alright with it. But then, a few years into our relationship, she decided she wants to lose weight. Now I love my girlfriend and value her over a sexual kink any and every day, but it’s been hard to support her in her attempts at weight loss when I don’t want her to lose any weight. I feel guilty about it and I don’t want to. How can I support my girlfriend the best that I can without feeling guilty for wanting her not to lose weight?
 

Lastminute.Tom

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this sounds like it's causing a lot of cognitive dissonance for you both, I'd suggest couples counselling especially if you're considering bringing children into the mix (I'm just wildly guessing from your username)

What does your partner like? what are her kinks? do you ever show each other your porn?

also we're only hearing your side of things, would she be willing to share her side so we can better help you come to a compromise?
 

Tad

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Most people who lose much weight gain it back eventually. It is how we are built as a species, it seems. There are exceptions, but they are not very common.

I say that partly to encourage you to be supportive and patient and to have hope -- but also to suggest that you nudge her to judge her success not by pounds lost but by progress in following healthier habits, feeling better, having more energy, etc. Those are things that are often more sustainable than weight loss, and are valuable in their own right. (She'll no doubt lose some weight anyway, but it should also be easier on you to support healthy habits than weight loss)
 

Hamham410

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Be supportive is def the main thing even if it means having to imagine she's bigger
 

extra_m13

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that is always a very difficult and usually an unpleasant situation to be in. the old battle of the instincts. i mean, first of all, that happens to everyone. it is very rare to have the girl that never says she wants to lose weight. some actually do all the way and lose it ... remember, the starting point ? if you got the girl at 55 kilos and the is at 150kg well i can probably understand her desire. if you have her at 55, got up to 60kg well come on, probably easier to make her postpone that losing weight mission. always the best way probably is to take the long term view if you really care about her and think in old age above our fa emotions. if not... then just go for a natural chubby those always fail to lose weight
 

Wannabe.papabear

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Feb 8, 2020
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Long Island, NY
Most people who lose much weight gain it back eventually. It is how we are built as a species, it seems. There are exceptions, but they are not very common.

I say that partly to encourage you to be supportive and patient and to have hope -- but also to suggest that you nudge her to judge her success not by pounds lost but by progress in following healthier habits, feeling better, having more energy, etc. Those are things that are often more sustainable than weight loss, and are valuable in their own right. (She'll no doubt lose some weight anyway, but it should also be easier on you to support healthy habits than weight loss)
Thank you very much, this was very insightful. We’ve begun doing this and things are feeling pretty good now. I was a little hesitant at first but encouraging activity has probably strengthened our relationship. I like going on little Forrest hikes with her and she really likes dancing. It’s been a change of pace but a good one nonetheless.
 

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