~BBW, ~BHM, Fantasy, Intrigue, ~XWG - The Mages Guild encounters halflings.
Chapter 1: Losing Your Way
"I told you to take the SECOND ravine and to lose those Yeti fist goons!"
The cry was heard throughout the forest, followed by the clunk of wood on wood. Animals raised their heads to see a group of eight finely dressed individuals, six catching their breath, the other two hitting each other over the head with a lute and a large closed fan.
Kazemaru looked at the disheveled Lucretia as she straightened out her headdress and picked up the lute again. "We managed to do latter by are now lost because you didn't listen to the former!"
"What is your problem!" Lucretia shouted, smartly catching the wood elf across the cheek with her lute. "We're lost, so what, we can simple us the M.G.C (Mage Guild Compass, selling at your local store for 40.00 gobluni) to find a Mages guild! We can avoid the Yeti's fist and head onwards back to Lephat HQ!"
"The bloody thing's not working," Samanira muttered, shaking the Compass up and down, placing it to her large gremlin ear, and then trying again. "Something's jammed it up."
"Yeah, and considering we lost the M.A.N.T.L.E (Magically Automobile with Never Too Large Engine, pick up a test drive today) when we missed the ravine and off the cliff," yelled Erounge, busily tapping the runes on his axe, trying to get his magic to charge them up again, "we're pretty stuck, at least six days away from Lephat HQ."
The runes sparked up, Erounge hefted the axe and took a swing at a nearby tree. Normally the tree would have burst into flames, but the axe merely stuck into it like a rabbit stuck in a trap. "By Urak and Goni, what is going on!"
"Something's messing with our magic!" Kazemaru replied. "This is really going to screw us up! Whoever heard of Mages without magic!"
"Something, or someone!" muttered Robert, eyes down, conectraing into nature, trying to get the trees to respond.
Despite their healthy and blooming exterior, they jeered at him internally.
"No chance, you fat ginger ogre!"
Robert gave up and readjusted his shirt under the tartan sash.
"What do you mean by that?!" Samanira jumped up, and despite her diminutive size, looked into Robert's eyes, her whiskers quivering. "Who's going to deliberately jam our magic?"
"How should I know?" Robert replied defensively. "Samanira, I know you don't like your magic to be tampered with, but it happens. You've fought Witch-hunters, you know what they do!"
Elora and Ornellia looked on; if there was such a thing as cooperation, they mused, the team hadn't found it just yet.
"We've got to do something!" Elora finally said. "Kaz, Lucy, stop fighting, Sam, Rob didn't mean anything; Erounge, please pull your axe out of the tree and come over here. Uli, please come back down to earth and offer something relevant. Listen, we need to split up into teams in order to establish where we are. Kaz, you take Sam, Rob and Orni and head eastwards, I'll take the rest and go in the opposite direction."
"Will you stop using nicknames for us!" Ulinaga the darkelf replied.
---------------------------
Team "Elly" (Elora got just as annoyed as everyone else of her nickname) continued westwards, passing trees after trees, pushing through thicket after thicket.
"Why can't we stop for a second!" moaned Lucretia, "My feet are killing me!"
"You're too unfit!" muttered Erounge. "Come on, surely you don't spend all your time practicing your magic! Urak and Goni, woman, tell me you don't use that M.O.D (Magical orientation device, try it out down!) to get around all the time."
"Guys, shhh!" hissed Ulinaga, placing a delicate finger to her mouth. "Elora's got a village in her sights! It's only about a few feet from us, and the people look friendly enough, we'll check it out."
The group continued on, Lucretia being the first to reach the village, her sore feet forgotten with the prospect of civilization in sight.
The village was actually quite large, and seemed to be created out of the landscape itself. The houses were small hills, their round doors painted bright and vibrant colours. A large farm of pigs, cows, sheep and chickens wasn't too far, with a cheerful bubbling stream going through the centre. The inhabitants came up to meet the mages. They were small, plump and very friendly, dressed in rural clothing, their hair a mass of curls, with hair on their feet; a few had hats on and some carried farming equipment. One stepped forward.
"Good a'ternoon, Zer and missus!" he said, his rural accent thick, but his voice jovial. "My name is Merry Berrybrig, welcome to Tully! We halflin's ain't used to seein' big-folk such as yerself!"
"Lucretia Crotchet, Erounge, Teodara Ulinaga, and Elora Felchet or Leprechaun's hat mages Guild," Elora said, shaking Merry's hand. "We're lost, having been chased by the Yeti's fist guild, and looking for directions to another Mage's Guild nearby."
"There ain't no Mage's guild in these parts apart from Yeti's fist!" a halfling woman said, holding a child close. "They come and terrorize the village for food and for fun! It's cruel, it is! That's why we set up anti-magic fields to stop them!"
"Oh," said Elora, "I'm sorry for intruding on your land, we'll be leaving now."
"Oh no, it's our fault entirely," replied Merry. "We got yer into our conflict. We're so sorry. Tell yer what, how about you stay for dinner, tonight's Fill-belly festival, and yer can be guests o' honor!"
"Really?" said Lucretia.
"Yeah!"
"Is everyone sure?" Elora asked.
"I'm in," said Erounge. "Anything for free food!"
"I'm in," said Lucretia. "Guests of honor, and free food."
"I'm in," Ulinaga replied. "There is very little about Halfling festivals, and so it will be interesting to see what they are like."
"How's about we seal's the deal then!" Merry pulled out a plate, with eight morsels on it. He and three other halflings took four, whilst the mages took another four, biting into them at the same time. Somehow, each morsel captured every taste that each mage loved, from Lucretia's sweetness and sugariness, to Erounge's love of meat, and Ulinaga's taste for spices, and Elora's love of cream, and give them a little bit of it, and made the experience even more enjoyable.
"Welcome to Tully, Leprechaun hat mages!"
-------------------------------------------
"Why didn't I mention this earlier!" Kazemaru slammed his wakasashi into the nearby tree. "Skys above, how could I be so thoughtless!"
"Whats the matter?" Ornellia said, reaching to place a hand on Kazemaru's shoulder.
"I should have recognized the situation. Lack of magic, pleasant surroundings and gradually get worse as we get stronger!" He cut a single leaf with the wind. "We've wandered into Halfling country!"
"What?!"
"Halflings! Gluttonous, tricky and devious! If only I warned them!"
"Why, what do they do!"
"They...!"
The words that Kazemaru spoke to Ornellia chilled her to the bone.
"They do that!?"
"And a whole lot worse if we don't get to a mage's guild quick!"
Halflings' Meal
by Irish Bard
[Author's Note: My friends have been working on creating a fantasy world together, and have currently come up with Manaterra. To give the briefest outline, it's a fantasy world where Mages, organized into guilds, live off a life of mercenary work and enjoy the best of life, including access to cars, bikes, guitars and a lot of modern amenments, whilst being persecuted by witch-hunters and running into all the usual fantasy dangers, including dragons, insane nercomancers, dark-lords and irate goblins.]by Irish Bard
Chapter 1: Losing Your Way
"I told you to take the SECOND ravine and to lose those Yeti fist goons!"
The cry was heard throughout the forest, followed by the clunk of wood on wood. Animals raised their heads to see a group of eight finely dressed individuals, six catching their breath, the other two hitting each other over the head with a lute and a large closed fan.
Kazemaru looked at the disheveled Lucretia as she straightened out her headdress and picked up the lute again. "We managed to do latter by are now lost because you didn't listen to the former!"
"What is your problem!" Lucretia shouted, smartly catching the wood elf across the cheek with her lute. "We're lost, so what, we can simple us the M.G.C (Mage Guild Compass, selling at your local store for 40.00 gobluni) to find a Mages guild! We can avoid the Yeti's fist and head onwards back to Lephat HQ!"
"The bloody thing's not working," Samanira muttered, shaking the Compass up and down, placing it to her large gremlin ear, and then trying again. "Something's jammed it up."
"Yeah, and considering we lost the M.A.N.T.L.E (Magically Automobile with Never Too Large Engine, pick up a test drive today) when we missed the ravine and off the cliff," yelled Erounge, busily tapping the runes on his axe, trying to get his magic to charge them up again, "we're pretty stuck, at least six days away from Lephat HQ."
The runes sparked up, Erounge hefted the axe and took a swing at a nearby tree. Normally the tree would have burst into flames, but the axe merely stuck into it like a rabbit stuck in a trap. "By Urak and Goni, what is going on!"
"Something's messing with our magic!" Kazemaru replied. "This is really going to screw us up! Whoever heard of Mages without magic!"
"Something, or someone!" muttered Robert, eyes down, conectraing into nature, trying to get the trees to respond.
Despite their healthy and blooming exterior, they jeered at him internally.
"No chance, you fat ginger ogre!"
Robert gave up and readjusted his shirt under the tartan sash.
"What do you mean by that?!" Samanira jumped up, and despite her diminutive size, looked into Robert's eyes, her whiskers quivering. "Who's going to deliberately jam our magic?"
"How should I know?" Robert replied defensively. "Samanira, I know you don't like your magic to be tampered with, but it happens. You've fought Witch-hunters, you know what they do!"
Elora and Ornellia looked on; if there was such a thing as cooperation, they mused, the team hadn't found it just yet.
"We've got to do something!" Elora finally said. "Kaz, Lucy, stop fighting, Sam, Rob didn't mean anything; Erounge, please pull your axe out of the tree and come over here. Uli, please come back down to earth and offer something relevant. Listen, we need to split up into teams in order to establish where we are. Kaz, you take Sam, Rob and Orni and head eastwards, I'll take the rest and go in the opposite direction."
"Will you stop using nicknames for us!" Ulinaga the darkelf replied.
---------------------------
Team "Elly" (Elora got just as annoyed as everyone else of her nickname) continued westwards, passing trees after trees, pushing through thicket after thicket.
"Why can't we stop for a second!" moaned Lucretia, "My feet are killing me!"
"You're too unfit!" muttered Erounge. "Come on, surely you don't spend all your time practicing your magic! Urak and Goni, woman, tell me you don't use that M.O.D (Magical orientation device, try it out down!) to get around all the time."
"Guys, shhh!" hissed Ulinaga, placing a delicate finger to her mouth. "Elora's got a village in her sights! It's only about a few feet from us, and the people look friendly enough, we'll check it out."
The group continued on, Lucretia being the first to reach the village, her sore feet forgotten with the prospect of civilization in sight.
The village was actually quite large, and seemed to be created out of the landscape itself. The houses were small hills, their round doors painted bright and vibrant colours. A large farm of pigs, cows, sheep and chickens wasn't too far, with a cheerful bubbling stream going through the centre. The inhabitants came up to meet the mages. They were small, plump and very friendly, dressed in rural clothing, their hair a mass of curls, with hair on their feet; a few had hats on and some carried farming equipment. One stepped forward.
"Good a'ternoon, Zer and missus!" he said, his rural accent thick, but his voice jovial. "My name is Merry Berrybrig, welcome to Tully! We halflin's ain't used to seein' big-folk such as yerself!"
"Lucretia Crotchet, Erounge, Teodara Ulinaga, and Elora Felchet or Leprechaun's hat mages Guild," Elora said, shaking Merry's hand. "We're lost, having been chased by the Yeti's fist guild, and looking for directions to another Mage's Guild nearby."
"There ain't no Mage's guild in these parts apart from Yeti's fist!" a halfling woman said, holding a child close. "They come and terrorize the village for food and for fun! It's cruel, it is! That's why we set up anti-magic fields to stop them!"
"Oh," said Elora, "I'm sorry for intruding on your land, we'll be leaving now."
"Oh no, it's our fault entirely," replied Merry. "We got yer into our conflict. We're so sorry. Tell yer what, how about you stay for dinner, tonight's Fill-belly festival, and yer can be guests o' honor!"
"Really?" said Lucretia.
"Yeah!"
"Is everyone sure?" Elora asked.
"I'm in," said Erounge. "Anything for free food!"
"I'm in," said Lucretia. "Guests of honor, and free food."
"I'm in," Ulinaga replied. "There is very little about Halfling festivals, and so it will be interesting to see what they are like."
"How's about we seal's the deal then!" Merry pulled out a plate, with eight morsels on it. He and three other halflings took four, whilst the mages took another four, biting into them at the same time. Somehow, each morsel captured every taste that each mage loved, from Lucretia's sweetness and sugariness, to Erounge's love of meat, and Ulinaga's taste for spices, and Elora's love of cream, and give them a little bit of it, and made the experience even more enjoyable.
"Welcome to Tully, Leprechaun hat mages!"
-------------------------------------------
"Why didn't I mention this earlier!" Kazemaru slammed his wakasashi into the nearby tree. "Skys above, how could I be so thoughtless!"
"Whats the matter?" Ornellia said, reaching to place a hand on Kazemaru's shoulder.
"I should have recognized the situation. Lack of magic, pleasant surroundings and gradually get worse as we get stronger!" He cut a single leaf with the wind. "We've wandered into Halfling country!"
"What?!"
"Halflings! Gluttonous, tricky and devious! If only I warned them!"
"Why, what do they do!"
"They...!"
The words that Kazemaru spoke to Ornellia chilled her to the bone.
"They do that!?"
"And a whole lot worse if we don't get to a mage's guild quick!"
