High # of dims people?

Discussion in 'Daily Living' started by Fat Molly, Aug 22, 2017.

  1. Aug 28, 2017 #21

    fuelingfire

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    In the medical industry, your title is HUGE! To a level that it's borderline funny, if you have a warped sense of humor. I could go massively off topic on that.
     
  2. Aug 28, 2017 #22

    FatAndProud

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    I wonder if you work with/for WSU? :)
     
  3. Aug 28, 2017 #23

    Tad

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    The great white north, eh?
    Kat, I'd say that as much as possible you need to find ways to socialize that are outside of the usual workplace situation. Like, if there are social clubs there of one sort or another, one-off open lectures or seminars, etc. Basically situations where you are there as you <name> not as you<job title, department>.

    And a lucky rabbits foot might not hurt, either ...
     
  4. Aug 28, 2017 #24

    BigElectricKat

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    You are correct. I was typing this whole treatise on this subject and realized it was totally off topic. But I have noticed what you are saying.
     
  5. Aug 28, 2017 #25

    BigElectricKat

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    And WSU stands for ...? I do work closely with elements of WUSM. Are we talking the same entity?
     
  6. Aug 28, 2017 #26

    FatAndProud

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    Detroit? If not, nevermind. I graduated in Detroit :)
     
  7. Aug 28, 2017 #27

    BigElectricKat

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    :)

    Ahh... you are talking about Wayne State University. No, I work with Washington University Medical School. However, I was born and raised in Detroit (at least until I was 13). My family still lives there and I am a H-U_G_E Michigan Wolverines fan. (again off topic, sorry)
     
  8. Aug 29, 2017 #28

    Yakatori

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    (Re: different kinds of cities and what they might offer) But, one point otherwise left unsaid:

    These kinds of relationships, forever-partnerships, that many of us have been so conditioned to see in some romanticized, sentimentalized treatment, do not come cheap. They require, demand, ongoing and mutual investment. Over time.

    It's not, like, something anyone's just 'entitled-to', like you can just order it on Amazon and click 'pay'. It doesn't work like that.

    Even happily married people will relate how, once even one partner stops pulling their weight, things get really challenging pretty quickly. It's not always all it's cracked up to be. You only get in proportion to what you're willing to put into it.

    And so, when you hear people lament on the demographics aspect of it, it does kind of make you wonder if they actually even realize what's involved when your life is not 'all-about-you.'

    Also, to add, whatever someone presents as 'the-reason' for ending a particular relationship; romantic, platonic, professional or otherwise; or just dialing it back, etc....you can't really fairly just take that at face value. Other than that, of course, for that this is just what they want for the time being. Because, as you point out, people-themselves, don't always really understand or appreciate the depth of even their own feelings, let alone have the compunction to be totally transparent about them.

    Wait, are you actually a Californian? Could be there's be some kind of cultural incompatibility at play here:

    [ame]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V4347ZE0NQM[/ame]
     
  9. Aug 29, 2017 #29

    BigElectricKat

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    I think that your advice is sound. Yet, like many of us, I aspire to something that is rarely attainable. Like FatAndProud said, she is totally into her craeer as are most academics and highly intelligent women.
     
  10. Aug 29, 2017 #30

    Tad

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    The great white north, eh?
    The key word there being 'most.' Fortunately you are not trying to date most woman, just one individual :D

    And for what it is worth, I've know a fair number of very high achieving, career driven, women who married guys who were very capable in their own way, but in very different fields. The super competitive lawyer married to a guy running a flyer deliver business, the IT manager married to a laid back engineer who liked to hop between jobs every so often for variety and who wasn't interested in climbing the corporate ladder, an engineering project manager married to a guy running a landscape business, a brilliant electronics design engineer married to a helicopter pilot, etc.

    Some people want someone very much like themselves, others prefer someone who is more complimentary, and that can mean being in a very different field or having a very different personality. Some of those husbands I've known well, some I never met, but my impression is that they were all pretty secure in who they were and what they did, which I suspect is pretty key in a relationship like that.

    And sure in trying you risk rejection, but as Wayne Gretzky said "You miss 100% of the shots you don't take." So if this is really what you want, you have to go take shots, and hope the rabbit foot comes through for you eventually :)
     
  11. Aug 29, 2017 #31

    BigElectricKat

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    In a way, I think you zeroed in on some of the problems I had been having. Over the years, I gained a good 30-40lbs and it seems as though with each pound gained, a little confidence was lost. I probably need to re-evaluate things from my end before I go out and try to meet people. Thanks!
     
  12. Sep 5, 2017 #32

    Heavy_Cream

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    I recommend San Diego, San Francisco, and anywhere in The Bay Area. Walnut Creek, Pleasant Hill, Concord, Martinez, etc.. Best wishes to you, I hope you find what you want.


     
  13. Sep 22, 2017 #33

    c49999

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    I'd say Providence, RI... very culturally diverse, food and restaurants are great and its easy to navigate the city which can be sometimes rough in Boston or NY... when I travel the east coast I like RI and it seems like they are finally getting their financial act together. The state was nearly bankrupt FYI. They have an annual thing called waterfire you may want to google
     
  14. Mar 21, 2018 #34

    Fat Molly

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    "They require, demand, ongoing and mutual investment. Over time."

    My frustration is that, with men I've dated, they don't want to put in that ongoing and mutual investment. To the point that I'm just basically ruling out dating men anymore. Fucking men, sure, but not dating. That's where I am right now. I'm feeling better than I was back in Aug when I posted this thread originally. I don't know why I didn't get alerts that people were posting on here.... frustrating! (also I suck at following up w online things because Busy).
     
  15. Mar 30, 2018 #35

    squeezablysoft

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    I'm wondering myself where the best place to meet Dimsy type folks irl might be. I'm in Ocala, Florida rn (hmu Florida FAs!), but will need to move somewhere else in a couple years to finish the degree I'm currently working on at our local community college. Prime candidates are Tallahassee for the in-state tuition rates at FSU and decent apartment rents compared to other Florida college towns or Hattiesburg, Mississippi for the relatively low out-of-state tuition at USM and the fact my mom wants to move to the same town I do and she has some distant relatives in the Hattiesburg area. Overall it does seem like Toronto is something of a FA hotspot but so far I've been unsuccessful in convincing my semi-tropical mom to venture that far north, though the shenanigans of our current Idiot in Chief have been helping my case, lol. But most likely I will end up somewhere in the Southeastern U.S., I have seen a few Floridians here and at Feabie, can't specifically recall any from Tallahassee though. Oddly Mississippi doesn't seem to be highly represented on these boards, considering it's the state with the highest obesity rate in the country you would think that would be FA paradise.
     
  16. Mar 30, 2018 #36

    ScreamingChicken

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    I can offer up a theory why you don't see too many fat folks or FAs from the Deep South here on these boards and it's pretty simple...politics. Lots of fat folks in the Deep South tend to run on the conservative side of the political spectrum. The right leaners I know of who found Dims either high tailed it out of here or just bit their tongues and slowly faded away while the more liberal voices dominated the boards.
     
  17. Mar 30, 2018 #37

    tmur

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    Dr Feelgood mentioned a state capitol or college town. Although I am late to this thread, let me put in a vote for my hometown of Columbus Ohio. We have both of the attributes Doc mentions, and much more.

    Largest US gay community other than San Francisco
    Largest US Somali community other than Minneapolis
    Lots of diversity because of college students from around the world staying for the plentiful jobs in the area
    We are growing in population and (even surprising to me) constitute the 14th largest metropolitan US area
    The food, local music and arts scene here is well supported by the local government and the populace
    The opportunities for individuals to find like minded people is immense. Quite youthful.

    Do we have a big PRO team, No. Big city crime stats, No.

    I read a comment about not many conservatives left on Dims. True, but I am one. Cannot say the same about Columbus. Mayor, City Council, School Board all Democrats.
     
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