@DazzlingAnna I totally empathize with your comments about who hurtful it can be to a fat person, when their "partner" is ashamed to be seen in public with them. When I first dated a fat man, I was terrified of friends seeing us together. The gay community was utterly obnoxious towards us and I don't think that I was as supportive as I could have been. My female friends stood up for us. I heard many stories of guys not wanting to be seen with a fat partner, including one of a guy asking his boyfriend to walk ten steps behind him, when they were out and about together, so that people would not realize that they were together.Same as @FatBarbieDoll I am very curious to know about why people don't show up with the person they find attractive.
I know from first hand experience what nasty comments and actions come across, being the fat person in this.
I am at the point to act consequently - who's not feeling comfortable been seen with me or even feels embarrassed when being together in public he/she doesn't deserved to have me as friend or partner in my life.
This definitely decimated the number of my so called friends. But are they worth called 'real friends'? I bet these friends dissapear as soon as any other problems appear anyway.
On the above I focused on friends but in relationships it is even worse.
A man or a partner who's embarrassed by the other one being fat (or whatever) when out in public - I bet it feels not good for him/her.
But this is nothing compared to how the fat partner in this feels. And it needs a lot of support, personal strength and self confidence to cope with it.
(In case you are asking if I am talking from personal experience: yes, I do.)
Everybody can keep his preferences as little or big secrets. Nothing wrong about that.
But once you've decided to be with a partner. Be proud and show the world with whom you are happy with.
No one on this world needs to be admired in private only and I speak for myself, I don't want to be admired secretly and hidden when friends show up!
After this experience, I decided to make it very obvious in future that the fat man that I was with was my boyfriend. If someone is good enough to date then they're good enough to be seen with. I also decided that people, who offended my partner, were not my friends and just walked away from them.
I remember seeing a short film called Hard Fat about gay men who find ball bellies attractive. (It's on Youtube.) It talks about guys wanting to be with fat guys but are scared of being caught with them. This just made me firmer in my conviction that you have to stand by the person you love, no matter what others may think or say.
All of us on this site are at about our feelings about fat people, be it ourselves or our love ones. We've been open with ourselves and with others on Dims. In that sense we are leading the way in making fat admiration more widely known, understood and accepted. I can only see the future getting rosier for us.