I've known quite a few Hoosier FAs...and a couple IN Indianapolis. You just have to wait them out 
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. babyjeep21 said:
How prevalent are FA's?
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Scout112 said:
Not so long ago I answered a very similar question with the below:
Okay, let me go about this scientifically... From a genetic point of view, nature would likely have it so that weight distribution roughly parallels attraction to certain body types. Which would mean that as long as you are around one standard deviation away from the mean weight of the female population, at least 32% of the male population would probably still be generically attracted to you. If you are still around two standard deviations, then your chances drastically fall, and generically only 5% are still attracted. Get beyond three standard deviations, and we're talking just one percent.
Now there are probably forces that counteract this theory. For example, our society teaches us that average or slender body types are good and fat ones are bad, hence a percentage of those who would normally be fine with, or even drawn to, a larger size will be influenced towards thinner partners. On the other hand, some who like extreme things may be enamored with that very fact and deviate towards the other side.
Now that, of course, does not take personality and personal magnetism into consideration. Some people who look "ideal" according to conventional wisdom can be dull as hell, whereas others who are nowhere near that ideal can be veritable people magnets due to their personalities and qualities. Personally, I think that accounts for quite a bit.
So the bottomline is that those who are very far away from societal norm definitely face an uphill battle. They may encounter those who are seeking exactly their type, but then chances are that personalities may be standard deviations apart. If things click on both curves, then we have a Dimensions relationship.
Did someone say 'standard deviation'? Well, Conrad, I take it that about 32% of men will be interested in 200 pound women, 5% interested in 300 pound women, and less than 1% want women over 400 pounds. I take it the same mechanism works in reverse? Therefore women will not be so interested in men if they are really heavy. The likelihood that a 400 pound woman will be with a 400 pound man is vanishingly small.
Are we to conclude that being attracted to very large people is a deviation? Statistically speaking, of course.
If personalities are distributed at random in populations then the likelihood that a 400 pound person would have a magnetic personality might be less than 1 in 10,000. Naw, that can't be right. Why we have plenty of evidence here on Dimensions that weight and personality go hand in hand.
Are we to conclude that being attracted to very large people is a deviation? Statistically speaking, of course.
If personalities are distributed at random in populations then the likelihood that a 400 pound person would have a magnetic personality might be less than 1 in 10,000. Naw, that can't be right. Why we have plenty of evidence here on Dimensions that weight and personality go hand in hand.
babyjeep21
Kamikaze Peanut Butter
Ashley said:I've known quite a few Hoosier FAs...and a couple IN Indianapolis. You just have to wait them out
I can't say I've really looked (not that looking helps). It's been less than a year since I found out what an FA was. So all in good time, right?
TheSadeianLinguist
Coin-Operated
Vince said:
One word: Experience. That's what we 'mericans call a variable,
I am also confused exactly how "out" you have to be to an uncloseted FA. I really don't tell the majority of people I know that I am, that doesn't mean that I am ashamed of it it just means that I don't talk to those people about my preferences.
Tragdor said:
Well, I think the definition of an "uncloseted FA" varies according to the person defining it.
For me, an uncloseted FA is willing to 1. be seen with me on dates in public, holding my hand and what not if appropriate (if we are dating). 2. introduce me to his friends/family what have you. That's really all I can think of at the moment.
Uncloseted FAs will have sex with you, but not be seen in public with you. They "date" you by coming to your house (generally with food) and watching a movie or something if you are lucky, then nailing you. I think Traci (not TraciJo!) coined the term "couch date" for this. They would never ever tell their friends and family about you.
Certainly I don't think it is necessary for anyone to jump up and down saying "I'm an FA!" or tell all their friends (their friends will be able to figure out what they like if they are the observant type).
Just my opinion.
OriginalCyn
Well-Known Member
...middle-class (and above) European-American men are sincerely grossed-out by the sight of blubber. Their biggest fear is that they'll marry someone and she'll "go fat" on them, and they'll "have" to get divorced, cheat on her, or fantasize about the latest PMOTM (or suchlike) in order to have sex with her. (The above is based on both personal observation and on things that I've read over 40-odd years.)
The stats seem to be more-favorable with some European-born Europeans and with many other ethnic groups. Working-class and underclass folks also seem to be relatively tolerant of (or even appreciative of) fat. (This is based solely on personal observation.)
A big problem, at least among White Americans in my own social class, is that fat is seen as being declasse. This means that a man's social status is severely lowered among his peers if he's seen with a fat woman. So, EVEN IF HE ACTUALLY LIKES/PREFERS FAT WOMEN, he'll often not be willing to be seen with one.
What it boils down to is this, IMO:
If you are a European-American woman, and you're looking to date men who are at least middle-class and of your own ethnic background, your dating pool is severely limited. And some of the men who ARE in your dating pool will disappoint you by being unwilling to be seen with you in public. Dating people of a different nationality, social class, or ethnic background may have some inherent "culture clash" issues that you may or may not want to try to work around--but dating outside of your usual social circle may be the only practical way to increase the size of your dating pool. I don't think that compromising my personal values is a worthwhile trade-off for having a mate. So--in my own case--if the man does things that indicates that he's ashamed of me, or if his culture is male-dominant, or if he likes to take advantage of the "desperation" that so many fat women exhibit, then he's not the guy for me, and having no man is far better than having THAT man.
The stats seem to be more-favorable with some European-born Europeans and with many other ethnic groups. Working-class and underclass folks also seem to be relatively tolerant of (or even appreciative of) fat. (This is based solely on personal observation.)
A big problem, at least among White Americans in my own social class, is that fat is seen as being declasse. This means that a man's social status is severely lowered among his peers if he's seen with a fat woman. So, EVEN IF HE ACTUALLY LIKES/PREFERS FAT WOMEN, he'll often not be willing to be seen with one.
What it boils down to is this, IMO:
If you are a European-American woman, and you're looking to date men who are at least middle-class and of your own ethnic background, your dating pool is severely limited. And some of the men who ARE in your dating pool will disappoint you by being unwilling to be seen with you in public. Dating people of a different nationality, social class, or ethnic background may have some inherent "culture clash" issues that you may or may not want to try to work around--but dating outside of your usual social circle may be the only practical way to increase the size of your dating pool. I don't think that compromising my personal values is a worthwhile trade-off for having a mate. So--in my own case--if the man does things that indicates that he's ashamed of me, or if his culture is male-dominant, or if he likes to take advantage of the "desperation" that so many fat women exhibit, then he's not the guy for me, and having no man is far better than having THAT man.
TheSadeianLinguist
Coin-Operated
Interesting points, Cyn. It's weird though when I reflect on the men who are most important in my life: My brothers and male friends. All of them have dated heavier women, and most of them are middle class. Who knows what it is?
Cyn, you raise an interesting point. I'm not sure that I agree with it - but only because I really haven't given the idea much thought, and it hasn't been my personal experience. Then again, I don't have a lot of dating experience; I met the man that I eventually married at the age of 19, and we've been together for 19 years.
From what limited personal experience I have had, and ancedotal information received from other friends of both sexes, it seems to me that most men -- European or not -- are OK with moderate body fat. Recently, I started noticing an increase in attention as I approached & slipped under the 200 lb mark. I can also remember when men seemed to stop "seeing" me -- when I gained a lot of weight, while in my early 20's. And again, in my personal experience, men who *did* seem to appreciate my heavier body were usually African American or Asian (particularly Indian). I really don't think that the majority of men are *that* picky when it comes to body size, within the mid-ranges. And really, most women are considered overweight these days anyway (though I think that many of us in this group have a very different notion of what 'overweight' really is, and it has nothing to do with BMI charts).
My husband really prefers plus-sized women. He thought that I was fine as I was (high 200's), and he especially liked my body at 210-220. We met & began dating when I was very thin. I've asked him, had I been at my highest weight when we first met, would he have dated me? He responded that he likely would not have, because my higher weight was really outside of his preference - but that if he'd gotten to know me well before the possibility of romantic involvement, he could have easily seen himself falling for me. In my experience, I had to work harder for everything when I was heavy -- respect, social standing, job opportunities, etc. Sometimes, I'd feel overwhelmed, believing that I had to somehow "earn" respect that would just naturally be extended to a thinner person. I really don't know how much of this was my low self esteem, and how much was real. IMO, it was somewhere in the middle. I experienced definite bias, some of which I am only now aware of now. Eeek, I didn't mean to veer off on this particular tangent -- just really wanted to provide a backdrop for the point I'm really trying to make, which is that I'm not surprised my romantic pursuits would have also required getting past some initial prejudice. Saddened, a bit. Not surprised.
From what limited personal experience I have had, and ancedotal information received from other friends of both sexes, it seems to me that most men -- European or not -- are OK with moderate body fat. Recently, I started noticing an increase in attention as I approached & slipped under the 200 lb mark. I can also remember when men seemed to stop "seeing" me -- when I gained a lot of weight, while in my early 20's. And again, in my personal experience, men who *did* seem to appreciate my heavier body were usually African American or Asian (particularly Indian). I really don't think that the majority of men are *that* picky when it comes to body size, within the mid-ranges. And really, most women are considered overweight these days anyway (though I think that many of us in this group have a very different notion of what 'overweight' really is, and it has nothing to do with BMI charts).
My husband really prefers plus-sized women. He thought that I was fine as I was (high 200's), and he especially liked my body at 210-220. We met & began dating when I was very thin. I've asked him, had I been at my highest weight when we first met, would he have dated me? He responded that he likely would not have, because my higher weight was really outside of his preference - but that if he'd gotten to know me well before the possibility of romantic involvement, he could have easily seen himself falling for me. In my experience, I had to work harder for everything when I was heavy -- respect, social standing, job opportunities, etc. Sometimes, I'd feel overwhelmed, believing that I had to somehow "earn" respect that would just naturally be extended to a thinner person. I really don't know how much of this was my low self esteem, and how much was real. IMO, it was somewhere in the middle. I experienced definite bias, some of which I am only now aware of now. Eeek, I didn't mean to veer off on this particular tangent -- just really wanted to provide a backdrop for the point I'm really trying to make, which is that I'm not surprised my romantic pursuits would have also required getting past some initial prejudice. Saddened, a bit. Not surprised.
voidhead
Well-Known Member
Littleghost said:
This is pathetic. Grow some balls dude...
voidhead said:
Wow, that's harsh. And untrue. I do not believe the dude in question needs to "grow a pair" -- he's plenty OK as he is. So he's a bit shy. That's endearing, and VERY attractive to many women.
I'll take shy over arrogant any day of the week (and twice on Sunday
)
voidhead
Well-Known Member
I estimate that about 10%-15% of the male population in the US are Fat Admirers.
What I mean by this is that while most men prefer SLIGHTLY thick/curvy women, about 15%-20% would prefer overweight women and actively seek fat on their partner.
There are more FAs out there than people think...I know a few myself... but almost all of us are in the closet about it. I also have no idea how many of those FAs are attracted to partners who are seriously overweight as in like 350 Ibs or more. I suspect, however, that all FAs are more or less of the opinion that bigger is better (within moderation of course).
Also I think it is true that other cultures are more accepting of fat and even lower classes within US society are more accepting of fat.
The whole "couch date" post was also dead-on. I used to do this all the time with many girls. To this day my friends from high school would be shocked to know how many of the random fat girls they probably never even knew existed I had slept with. When it comes down to it, however, none of these fat girls were confident or interesting enough to validate me doing anything more than couch dating them*.
I will gladly be seen with a BBW in public if she is worth it.
The problem with Fat Culture, as I see it, is threefold:
1) The women are uncomfortable with their bodies, shy, and lack confidence in themselves. This is incredibly unnattractive. So many girls act as though their fat is a secret, or somehow temporary. Fat girls need to flaunt what they've got and feel sexy about themselves. Once you FEEL sexy, you ARE sexy. IT IS ACTUALLY EASIER FOR ME TO PICK UP SKINNY CHICKS!!! There have been so many skinny girls who come on to me and I have to let them down gently. The fat chicks, by contrast are much harder to approach by and large.
2) The FAs are timid little bitches for the most part. Many of us are very intelligent, which is cool but it can also mean that we are shy and socially awkward. FAs need to be confident! Just be cool. You don't need a fucking one-liner. Smile at her, say hi my name is ______ what's yours? If you are worth a shit then she will be into you. If you are uninteresting, then you don't deserve to get laid (or exist for that matter) anyway. Chances are you're the only guy who has/will hit on her all night. If you do find a girl who is confident, interesting and has a personality, allow her to graduate from your school of couch fucking and bring her out in the real world for all to see!!!
Which brings me to:
3) Once you've found a woman who is worth more than couch fucking*, treat her properly. IF NOT YOU ARE AN ASSHOLE. The more FA couples out there on the streets, the more confidence it gives other undercover FAs to be open about their sexuality, which is awesome, because there is nothing worse than a fat girl settling for a fat guy just because she can't do better. Or for that matter a fat guy settling for a fat chick...
Fat couples are just such a turn-off...just imagine that nasty sloppy gorilla sex...
Contrast is the key!!!
*NOTE: If the girl lacks confidence in herself, is uninteresting, or is timid due to issues with her size, she is NOT worth dating and you may couch fuck her because she is only perpetuating the problems inherent in most BBWs.
What I mean by this is that while most men prefer SLIGHTLY thick/curvy women, about 15%-20% would prefer overweight women and actively seek fat on their partner.
There are more FAs out there than people think...I know a few myself... but almost all of us are in the closet about it. I also have no idea how many of those FAs are attracted to partners who are seriously overweight as in like 350 Ibs or more. I suspect, however, that all FAs are more or less of the opinion that bigger is better (within moderation of course).
Also I think it is true that other cultures are more accepting of fat and even lower classes within US society are more accepting of fat.
The whole "couch date" post was also dead-on. I used to do this all the time with many girls. To this day my friends from high school would be shocked to know how many of the random fat girls they probably never even knew existed I had slept with. When it comes down to it, however, none of these fat girls were confident or interesting enough to validate me doing anything more than couch dating them*.
I will gladly be seen with a BBW in public if she is worth it.
The problem with Fat Culture, as I see it, is threefold:
1) The women are uncomfortable with their bodies, shy, and lack confidence in themselves. This is incredibly unnattractive. So many girls act as though their fat is a secret, or somehow temporary. Fat girls need to flaunt what they've got and feel sexy about themselves. Once you FEEL sexy, you ARE sexy. IT IS ACTUALLY EASIER FOR ME TO PICK UP SKINNY CHICKS!!! There have been so many skinny girls who come on to me and I have to let them down gently. The fat chicks, by contrast are much harder to approach by and large.
2) The FAs are timid little bitches for the most part. Many of us are very intelligent, which is cool but it can also mean that we are shy and socially awkward. FAs need to be confident! Just be cool. You don't need a fucking one-liner. Smile at her, say hi my name is ______ what's yours? If you are worth a shit then she will be into you. If you are uninteresting, then you don't deserve to get laid (or exist for that matter) anyway. Chances are you're the only guy who has/will hit on her all night. If you do find a girl who is confident, interesting and has a personality, allow her to graduate from your school of couch fucking and bring her out in the real world for all to see!!!
Which brings me to:
3) Once you've found a woman who is worth more than couch fucking*, treat her properly. IF NOT YOU ARE AN ASSHOLE. The more FA couples out there on the streets, the more confidence it gives other undercover FAs to be open about their sexuality, which is awesome, because there is nothing worse than a fat girl settling for a fat guy just because she can't do better. Or for that matter a fat guy settling for a fat chick...
Fat couples are just such a turn-off...just imagine that nasty sloppy gorilla sex...
Contrast is the key!!!
*NOTE: If the girl lacks confidence in herself, is uninteresting, or is timid due to issues with her size, she is NOT worth dating and you may couch fuck her because she is only perpetuating the problems inherent in most BBWs.
voidhead
Well-Known Member
TraciJo67 said:Wow, that's harsh. And untrue. I do not believe the dude in question needs to "grow a pair" -- he's plenty OK as he is. So he's a bit shy. That's endearing, and VERY attractive to many women.
I'll take shy over arrogant any day of the week (and twice on Sunday
I am distinguishing between timidity and confidence, not timidity and arrogance here, although I understand your point.
You see I probably come off as arrogant on these forums but I am modest person. Many people lack confidence because they actually ARE pathetic. They know they can be better people but fail to take the steps needed to implement this change. I just hate seeing all these FAs who do the whole community a disservice because they are too afraid to approach fat women. This in turn just perpetuates the fat girl's lack of confidence because no one approaches her, which in turn makes her unapproachable and the cycle repeats itself.
Littleghost
Oh, Frickenstein.
Let's just all be thankful that "BigDemon" isn't a more appropriate title for me.Jane said:
--Littleghost
