How to handle a hot-head?

Discussion in 'Daily Living' started by GoodDaySir, Jan 14, 2016.

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  1. Jan 14, 2016 #1

    GoodDaySir

    GoodDaySir

    GoodDaySir

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    For any of you managers and bosses out there, do you ever come across an employee who gets defensive really quickly?

    Short story time:

    A friend of mine is a dept. manager with a small company, where his dad is a big boss and a LOT of his family members have been employed at. One of my friend's employees has been with the company for almost 2 decades, is very close friends with my friend (his manager) and his whole family, grew up with the older brothers and even lived with the family for a bit.

    This employee is lazy. The details are mundane, but he's not pulling his weight and its affecting the rest of the department. My friend (his manager!) would like to talk to him about it, but the employee is a hot-head and gets defensive and angry. No one's ever fired him cause he's a friend and losing him would be a minor inconvience.

    How do you deal with someone like this? He's a good guy, besides the lack of work ethic and the flipping out.
     
  2. Jan 15, 2016 #2

    GoodDaySir

    GoodDaySir

    GoodDaySir

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    Anyone?? ?
     
  3. Jan 15, 2016 #3

    happily_married

    happily_married

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    Sometimes hotheads get by because they are also friends or valuable assets. Sometimes people are just unwilling to risk upsetting what they consider a delicate balance. Or maybe even they're outright intimidated. Now if the guy is also being lazy, someone at some point needs to take the lead.

    If the guy is a friend, perhaps it deserves a sincere one-on-one between he and your manager friend over a cup of coffee. Begin the discussion with a sincere and firm "You are a good friend and an asset and we want to keep it that way. But there are some areas we need to address..." And see where it goes from there. If he gets defensive and hot headed, maybe it's time to break contact and move on. If that's not possible then it's a matter of figuring out how to work with the situation for what it is.
     
  4. Jan 16, 2016 #4

    swamptoad

    swamptoad

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    Some folks are lazy, lax, or lackadaisical for a variety of reasons. Maybe he needs more of a challenge. Maybe he needs people to push his buttons more oftenly to curve some of his stubbornness.

    I don't know all of the facts. It'd be helpful to see his goodpoints along with his not-so-goodpoints, y'know. But I must say that things are quite different on personal levels and business levels, contrastingly and comparatively. And when you mix the two ... aye carumba!!!

    It'd be nice if somebody could level with him. Tell him he's grown and he can react however he pleases but his ranting and raving doesn't amount to a hill of beans when it comes to matters in the business world of things ...his lack of effort is affecting the herd. Basically the person who talks to him needs to set the tone for the talk and not back down from him being a hothead. That person (manager or other daring individual in charge) needs to tell him that if he does not make efforts to change then he does not need that job. And that it isn't over till its over and that he's still got an opportunity to change but that's it ..and its simply up to him... one opportunity and no bullshitting around! Tell him ... you got the guts .... no guts no glory! And plenty of people want to perform at a job and certainly would be privileged.
     
  5. Feb 29, 2016 #5

    martinnathalie92

    martinnathalie92

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    I think sometimes you have to be firm, I have been in positions in the past where i have simply gone against my personality simply to please another persons hot headed nature. I soon learnt this is not the most effective way to get by, in fact it makes you an easy target for them! So I suggest next time you receive a passive aggressive email, be firm in your response. Power does horrible things to people.
     
  6. Mar 5, 2016 #6

    luvmybhm

    luvmybhm

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    hmm...it sounds like the guy is feeling a bit too secure in his place. like he feels like a) they won't fire me, we're friends b) i have been here a long time and i do what i want c)i know i am goofing off, but hey, they are afraid of me so they won't rock the boat and set me off.

    this is not good.

    i disagree on the 'let him know as a friend' thing. you need to keep it professional. if he is goofing off, his productivity/numbers will show it. if you want to have a meeting about his work ethic, keep it factual and number based. he can't dispute the numbers. he will get the hint that he is expected to produce. be sure to mention that there will be a follow up meeting in x months to track his progress. that way he knows he has to provide results as you will be following up.

    if he brings up the 'hey we are friends' thing, be blunt and tell him this is not about his friendship, this is about his work. they are 2 separate relationships.
     

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