babyjeep21
Kamikaze Peanut Butter
A good friend of mine sent this to me. I just had to share! 
Eating Tips for The Holidays
1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table
knows nothing of the Holiday spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave
immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.
2. Drink as much eggnog as you can and quickly. You can't find it
any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has
10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into
an "eggnog-aholic" or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it!!!! Have one for
me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's the holiday season!
3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of
gravy. Gravy does not stand-alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out
of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano.
Repeat.
4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim
milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a
sports car with an automatic transmission.
5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control
your eating. The whole point of going to a holiday party is to eat
other people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello???
6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and
New Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to
do. This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling
the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of
eggnog.
7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like
frosted holiday cookies in the shape and size of Santa, stars, trees,
gingerbread men, position yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many
as you
can before becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful
pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you're never going to see
them again.
8. Same for pies. Apple, cherry, pumpkin and mincemeat - have a slice of
each. Or, if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one
pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one
dessert? Labor Day?
9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the
mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have
some standards.
10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party
or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Reread
tips: Start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner.
Remember this motto to live by:
"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave
with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well
preserved body. But rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in hand,
body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO-HOO
what a ride!"
HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!
Eating Tips for The Holidays
1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table
knows nothing of the Holiday spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave
immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.
2. Drink as much eggnog as you can and quickly. You can't find it
any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has
10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into
an "eggnog-aholic" or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it!!!! Have one for
me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's the holiday season!
3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of
gravy. Gravy does not stand-alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out
of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano.
Repeat.
4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim
milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a
sports car with an automatic transmission.
5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control
your eating. The whole point of going to a holiday party is to eat
other people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello???
6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and
New Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to
do. This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling
the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of
eggnog.
7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like
frosted holiday cookies in the shape and size of Santa, stars, trees,
gingerbread men, position yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many
as you
can before becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful
pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you're never going to see
them again.
8. Same for pies. Apple, cherry, pumpkin and mincemeat - have a slice of
each. Or, if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one
pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one
dessert? Labor Day?
9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the
mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have
some standards.
10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party
or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Reread
tips: Start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner.
Remember this motto to live by:
"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave
with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well
preserved body. But rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in hand,
body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO-HOO
what a ride!"
HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!
