I, AtlasD, having been duly appointed Benevolent Dictator for Life make the following decrees- (not necessarily in order of priority)
1. All Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition models are required to gain 50 pounds. The first 20 to bring them out of their anorexic state, and the other 30 to make them more like normal humans.
2. All suspected terrorists are required to gain weight until they are too fat to walk through the metal detectors at the airport.
3. Food manufacturers will still place labels stating the amount of Unsaturated, Saturated and Trans-fats. However calorie counts will be removed.
4. All male models who show off their abs in the mens magazines will be required to gain weight until the six-pack is replaced by the full keg.
5. Kirstie Alley will be required to re-gain all the pounds she has lost, plus an additional 5 pounds for each Jenny Craig commercial she has produced.
6. The next episode of Lost will feature an airdrop of Dharma Initiative food that will magically make the rest of the cast as fat as Hurley.
7. My wife will gladly and willingly wear a bikini without uttering one word about how fat she is. (oh, how I wish I could make this last one come true! :smitten: )
1. All Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition models are required to gain 50 pounds. The first 20 to bring them out of their anorexic state, and the other 30 to make them more like normal humans.
2. All suspected terrorists are required to gain weight until they are too fat to walk through the metal detectors at the airport.
3. Food manufacturers will still place labels stating the amount of Unsaturated, Saturated and Trans-fats. However calorie counts will be removed.
4. All male models who show off their abs in the mens magazines will be required to gain weight until the six-pack is replaced by the full keg.
5. Kirstie Alley will be required to re-gain all the pounds she has lost, plus an additional 5 pounds for each Jenny Craig commercial she has produced.
6. The next episode of Lost will feature an airdrop of Dharma Initiative food that will magically make the rest of the cast as fat as Hurley.
7. My wife will gladly and willingly wear a bikini without uttering one word about how fat she is. (oh, how I wish I could make this last one come true! :smitten: )
