Arg people...
So, I'm chatting with my friend and so on, and she's very opinionated. Very. And in many ways, she is lovely.
I am bothered by this story both because I love her and she irritated me, and also because I let something like this irritate me, and partly because she is coming off as a homophobic idiot in it and I know that she isnt someone who hates gay people, just someone who has internalised alot of stupid things and someone who WILL NOT LISTEN.
She basically said that no-one in the west cares if you're gay, no-one gives a shit, so would you stop making such a big deal about it. Because it irritates her.
I tried arguing with her, but shes pregnant and arguing with her upsets her, and nothing makes you feel shit like arguing with your pregnant best friend and trying to not upset her and doing it anyway and you feel like crap cos you upset your most wonderful awesome friend in the world AND you upset her unborn baby lump thing I guess but IT IS NOT OKAY TO SAY THAT DAMMIT.
"But hun, I'm not homophobic, I have gay friends and I love you and you're my best friend and you're bi. I don't care if you're gay, I don't care if my son turns out gay. It's not a big deal."
But you don't think it's OK for a gay couple to raise kids. You don't like it when gay people kiss in public, or on the TV. You don't like "camp" people. You think that people who are "too flamboyantly gay" should accept that by acting that way they are "asking for trouble". And you think that by prostesting, by speaking out against people judging you for these things, gay people are "taking the piss" because, of course, homophobia isn't really a problem in this country anymore.
Why oh why oh why oh why can you not see how OFFENSIVE and yes, how HOMOPHOBIC these attitudes are?
Saying "But I'm not homophobic, I have gay friends," dosnt not give you the goddamn right to spout whatever disgusting opinions you feel like at the time and get mad at me when I tell you that it IS homophobic and it is NOT ok, and then get mad at me again because "how could you even think I am homophobic you know I'm not like that, why are you getting angry?"
ARGH.
I told you why I'm angry.
You just. Don't. Wan't. To. Listen.
We made up. We are fine. But she still believes these bloody things, and I won't bring it up again because I don't want to ruin a pefectly good friendship. I hope, over time, some of my attitude will rub off on her. I got her to agree that marriage is a universal right. Baby steps.
But seriously, how often to people do that? Say something offensive and then end it with "but I'm not predjudiced, I have gay friends."
*growls*
So, I'm chatting with my friend and so on, and she's very opinionated. Very. And in many ways, she is lovely.
I am bothered by this story both because I love her and she irritated me, and also because I let something like this irritate me, and partly because she is coming off as a homophobic idiot in it and I know that she isnt someone who hates gay people, just someone who has internalised alot of stupid things and someone who WILL NOT LISTEN.
She basically said that no-one in the west cares if you're gay, no-one gives a shit, so would you stop making such a big deal about it. Because it irritates her.
I tried arguing with her, but shes pregnant and arguing with her upsets her, and nothing makes you feel shit like arguing with your pregnant best friend and trying to not upset her and doing it anyway and you feel like crap cos you upset your most wonderful awesome friend in the world AND you upset her unborn baby lump thing I guess but IT IS NOT OKAY TO SAY THAT DAMMIT.
"But hun, I'm not homophobic, I have gay friends and I love you and you're my best friend and you're bi. I don't care if you're gay, I don't care if my son turns out gay. It's not a big deal."
But you don't think it's OK for a gay couple to raise kids. You don't like it when gay people kiss in public, or on the TV. You don't like "camp" people. You think that people who are "too flamboyantly gay" should accept that by acting that way they are "asking for trouble". And you think that by prostesting, by speaking out against people judging you for these things, gay people are "taking the piss" because, of course, homophobia isn't really a problem in this country anymore.
Why oh why oh why oh why can you not see how OFFENSIVE and yes, how HOMOPHOBIC these attitudes are?
Saying "But I'm not homophobic, I have gay friends," dosnt not give you the goddamn right to spout whatever disgusting opinions you feel like at the time and get mad at me when I tell you that it IS homophobic and it is NOT ok, and then get mad at me again because "how could you even think I am homophobic you know I'm not like that, why are you getting angry?"
ARGH.
I told you why I'm angry.
You just. Don't. Wan't. To. Listen.
We made up. We are fine. But she still believes these bloody things, and I won't bring it up again because I don't want to ruin a pefectly good friendship. I hope, over time, some of my attitude will rub off on her. I got her to agree that marriage is a universal right. Baby steps.
But seriously, how often to people do that? Say something offensive and then end it with "but I'm not predjudiced, I have gay friends."
*growls*
