Intersecting Fetishes and supporting wifeys fantasies

Discussion in 'Fat sexuality' started by Lostonline040, Jun 29, 2019.

  1. Jun 29, 2019 #1

    Lostonline040

    Lostonline040

    Lostonline040

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    So long story short, wifey has expressed interest in being a dominant cuckquean (for reference, an example sentence from urban dictionary, "Liz brought home her friend Trish from the bar for her boyfriend to fuck. She sat on the side and directed her boyfriend and her friend Trish, telling them exactly what to do and how to do it. She loved dominating them both.") and the fantasy involves hiring some SSBBW professional to do things with.

    She asked me if id be into it, but i told her it depended on a number of things such as making sure this is something that she really wanted, and that she needed to know that i dont *need* to be with other women, that im perfectly happy with her for the next 15yrs and beyond. I also feel like i want to support her fantasies or sexuality as shes been very supportive of my interests in lite-feederism and general FAism

    I would love to hear some advice from the women here if possible, your thoughts or ideas would be greatly appreciated, but to the men here please, kindly, respectfully, spare me the 'i wish i had, your problem!' comments. I would greatly appreciate it thank you
     
  2. Jun 29, 2019 #2

    Unbasher

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    On vacation July 5-23 :-)

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    You say you don't need to be with other women. Does that also mean you'd feel uncomfortable including another?
     
  3. Jun 29, 2019 #3

    Lostonline040

    Lostonline040

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    Not necessarily. Over the past decade weve discussed the possibility of threesome, so we've always been somewhat open to it, but decided against it for one reason or another as it wasnt high on our priority list.

    My pov is that if we stay monogamous forever it wont bother me, or i wont feel like ive missed out overmuch, but it also means that im not put off by experimenting this way either aslong as the health of our marriage was priority. If we can play without hurting feelings for either of us then lets take babysteps to explore something she feels she may be into. If not, then its cut.
     
  4. Jun 29, 2019 #4

    Unbasher

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    On vacation July 5-23 :-)

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    Do you know if your wife wants to experiment out of curiosity or is that something she feels she needs in order to keep your sex life and therefore your marriage healthy?

    Although I have no experience with threesomes, my husband and I are living in an open relationship at the moment, and keeping your feelings in check is tough. With the first man I met with there was not enough chemistry to take things further, with the second one there was too much chemistry. I got hurt and I'm still sorting out my feelings, which is affecting our sex life dramatically.

    Bottom line, I'd discuss how much she needs this and if she really does, lay down some ground rules, e.g.
    + Do you want this to take place at your house or is the bedroom sacred?
    + What if one of you wants to pull out - no pun intended - in the middle of it because you find you can't deal with the situation after all?
     
  5. Jun 29, 2019 #5

    Lostonline040

    Lostonline040

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    I asked her the same thing, and having her examine this desire and understand, or try to, why she wanted to do it and what turned her on about it was central to whether or not i was into it. She tells me at first it was about being supportive of me ("we both know i can't gain weight into SSBBW territory so if you felt you *needed* to be with one once then maybe we can do that") but then as we discussed the logistics of how that could work she discovered more and more how into she was of the idea of dom'ing two people and controlling the action and so on. It then expanded into other types of women that i wouldnt necessarily be into (some young skinny minnie in her 20s for example) as her fantasy took off into her own direction so to speak.

    Your point of ground rules is a good one, and because of reasons, we wouldnt be able to execute the fantasy for a couple years anyway so it gives us plenty of time to talk and explore more. So far her biggest ones seems to be no humiliation and shes in control while mine are you gotta be certain you want this and no escalation into swinging or cuckoldry. She assures me she has no interest in being with other men at all under any circumstances. I expressed my concern that could change in the future but, its a developing conversation

    I dunno, again its all very shaky ground as the conversation was less than 24hrs ago. A big reason i brought this conversation here to Dimensions is again i feel a desire to support this fantasy of hers because of how good shes been with mine these past few years since coming out to her as an FA in 2013. I wont call it an obligation though, if im being honest im not entirely opposed to the idea, but again, only if our marriage can survive it
     
  6. Jun 29, 2019 #6

    Unbasher

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    Ok, so if you still have lot of time to work out the logistics, that gives you opportunity for self-reflection and conversations. That you're openly talking about it is a sign of how much you trust each other, so that's a good basis.
     
  7. Jun 29, 2019 #7

    happily_married

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    First, years back on a couple occasions I had a similar setup where my partner and I agreed to have sex in front of a friend of her, and the friend insisted we do everything she instructed us to do. It really is a fun and awesome feeling to be watched and ordered around like you’re nothing more than a customizable live porn whose only purpose at that moment is the amusement of the girl watching.

    But the two different partners I had with whom I did this were not my wife. Not even girlfriends. These were just fuck buddies who allowed me to use them and used me for their own needs.

    Before you open up Pandora’s box I’d be sure to discuss at great length with your wife. If either party gets buyer’s remorse it could wreck havoc on your marriage. Don’t go forward with it until you are certain that is not a possible contingency. And even then you need to recognize no matter how much you agree to the rules of the road ahead, once you go live it could very well trigger emotions one or both of you swore you’d be able to control.

    Seems like a powder keg to me.
     
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  8. Jul 1, 2019 #8

    knightmare870

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    I'm with everyone else on this one. If you and your spouse have discussed this and made sure that it's something you both can be happy with, then I don't see why not. Just as long as you guys set some ground rules, it should all work out. Hopefully.

    Best of luck to you!
     
  9. Jul 2, 2019 #9

    Tad

    Tad

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    mostly harmless

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    Just a thought, at some point see if you could sort of role play it out, or have her write a story about it. After that, when she has had to think through the experience, if she still wantsto do it I'd think the risks are lower. But possibly going through in more detail would dampen her desire to try that, or else she'd really enjoy the fantasy of that but decide that the fantasy is enough.
     
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  10. Jul 2, 2019 #10

    sarahe543

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    From personal experience I asked my ex if we could go to sex clubs, and if I could get a girlfriend. Partly because I wanted to at the time but admittedly partly because i wanted a reaction from him.
     
  11. Jul 3, 2019 #11

    Lostonline040

    Lostonline040

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    So as a bit more context we are living apart right now for the next 6mos because of my job so weve been talking about it alot as a sort of fantasizing/roleplay thing and if anything its enhancing her interest in it.

    As for stories im more of the writer than she so what ive been doing is writing little short stories or erotica that covers alot of things or aspects of the fantasy for her, then we "edit" for lack of better word and talk through parts she liked and didnt like and then i rewrite. Its also because theres very little fiction/erotica that we can find that covers this specific aspect of the fetish/kink/what-have-you so were having to create our own porn really

    Anyway, you guys have been great as a sounding board, i think the takeaway is for us to take it slow, explore, communicate!
     
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  12. Jul 3, 2019 #12

    Tad

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    Sounds to me like you are doing things right. Good luck!
     

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