Introducing your kids to your bigger SO.

Discussion in 'Daily Living' started by toecutter18, Feb 10, 2019.

  1. Feb 10, 2019 #1

    toecutter18

    toecutter18

    toecutter18

    New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 2, 2019
    Messages:
    3
    Likes Received:
    4
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Arizona
    It’s not quite time yet, but the day is coming when my 10 and 6 year old boys will be introduced to my 350 ish lbs girlfriend who I’m madly in love with. I’m concerned about their interactions with her. Their mom is a lot smaller at around 160 ish. The whole community as a whole seems to been slimmer so my kids aren’t used to a bbw in their life, neither have I for that matter. I’m finally taking the plunge, just never had the guts to do it before. Anyway, any advice for getting my kids to be welcoming and understanding to make her feel welcome when the time comes?
     
    BigElectricKat likes this.
  2. Feb 10, 2019 #2

    DragonFly

    DragonFly

    DragonFly

    Ahem Prema Staff Member Global Moderator

    Joined:
    Apr 28, 2017
    Messages:
    1,714
    Likes Received:
    1,125
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    New York Hudson Valley
    There are bigger women portrayed on many different things, tv advertisements, movies, sitcoms and other places. I am sure they have seen bigger people. I don’t think her size should be an issue. I would just give them a reminder to be on their best behavior and that this person is important to you. That should do it, if there is an issue correct their behavior as appropriate.
     
    WVMountainrear likes this.
  3. Feb 10, 2019 #3

    Aqw

    Aqw

    Aqw

    Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Oct 28, 2018
    Messages:
    71
    Likes Received:
    39
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    France
    I guess that if you are comfortable with your girlfriend, your children will feel that and it will be ok for them.
     
    WVMountainrear, Am Jim and bigisland like this.
  4. Feb 17, 2019 #4

    WVMountainrear

    WVMountainrear

    WVMountainrear

    Poster formerly known as lovelylady78

    Joined:
    Jan 9, 2011
    Messages:
    2,495
    Likes Received:
    842
    Location:
    ,
    I agree with @DragonFly . I don't know why her weight would even be an issue that needs to be addressed. Introducing her as your girlfriend and someone who is important to you should be enough for them to respect her as a person.
     
  5. Feb 17, 2019 #5

    Blockierer

    Blockierer

    Blockierer

    FAntastic

    Joined:
    Sep 30, 2005
    Messages:
    1,194
    Likes Received:
    377
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    ,
    I never warn anybody before the first real meeting. I make no exception, never. When they realize that I have a 400 lbs wife, they just look shyly. It's completely normal to have a fat partner. Your kids will love your fat GF.
     
    Aqw and DragonFly like this.
  6. Feb 20, 2019 #6

    Tad

    Tad

    Tad

    mostly harmless

    Joined:
    Sep 29, 2005
    Messages:
    13,031
    Likes Received:
    1,899
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    The great white north, eh?
    I've not gone through this situation, so the below is just based on general handling situations experience.

    I don't think you focus on her weight, because that just puts a big flag next to it. Instead I'd suggest:
    - you emphasize before the meeting (s) that they be on their politest behavior because she is special to you.
    - you keep the first meeting fairly short, to make that first point easier!
    - You do say that she isn't like their Mom, that they'll have to get to know her for her.
    - You ask them each to have something they like to tell her about (a lego thing they made, their gymnastics class, the funny thing their friend's dog does. Doesn't matter what, just something that will get them talking)
    - You tell them that after she has left you all will talk, and you will answer any questions they have, so that they know they can ask you stuff later.
    -that you make sure she is ready for kid curiousity and is ready to field questions without offense.

    Good luck!!!!
     
    WVMountainrear likes this.
  7. Feb 21, 2019 #7

    BigElectricKat

    BigElectricKat

    BigElectricKat

    Are you intelligent? Staff Member Global Moderator

    Joined:
    May 22, 2017
    Messages:
    1,249
    Likes Received:
    1,120
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    St Louis Area
    I would normally say that this shouldn't be a problem at all if you raised your kids right (this is NOT a condemnation of your parenting). If all along, you've taught your boys not to be judgmental toward people for their appearance but on the content of their character, then you probably have nothing to worry about. If they know that you are happy and that this woman is a source of happiness for you, all should be good. Yes, children are heavily influenced by their peers and that could be something they may have to deal with. But more importantly, you need to show them that you are happy to be with her and that you don't have any fear about being seen with her. You have to show that you are in a normal, happy, loving relationship and as such they should be happy for you.
     
    John Smith and Aqw like this.
  8. Feb 28, 2019 #8

    John Smith

    John Smith

    John Smith

    Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 31, 2015
    Messages:
    362
    Likes Received:
    74
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Laval, QC (Canada)

    I just don't see what is wrong about dating someone that you appreciate. I don't think you'd be saying the same if ever your girlfriend happened to spurt a 36PPP bra cup, being adorned by a set of hips of 60 inches wide or just being 6 feet 5 tall and have to justifiy front to your kids and community about why your partner does looks so atypical compared to your ex-wife or the rest of your community why does you even compares her to somebody who no longer involvwa this intimely into your life or whoever member of your kinship. That sounds ludicrous to me, I think that the most uneased of you three are definitively not the children.
     

Share This Page