Is he really into big girls?

Dimensions Magazine

Help Support Dimensions Magazine:

Seda

Throbbing member
Joined
Jun 7, 2010
Messages
65
Location
,
I don't think I've ever been with a man who specifically stated they were only attracted to big women. I think I would be just as put off by a man who said he only liked skinny woman as I would by a man who said he only liked BBWs.
Sure, a specific feature of whatever but never 'must weigh over 250lbs'.

Maybe I'm strange? The only person I've been with who didn't want to be seen with me in public was someone with a girlfriend.
 

HottiMegan

I'm a fat geek!
In Remembrance
Joined
Dec 14, 2005
Messages
9,948
Location
,
My husband is not an FA. He loves women. He can see beauty in all shapes and sizes. I think i'm the only fatty he's been with romantically. (he has a limited dating history though) I am probably the only fat woman that is friends with him on facebook. He has over 100 friends thanks to those stupid games that you need like a hundred friends playing to advance. So quite a few of his friends he doesn't even know. I think the only way to see real intentions is to get to know someone. I started my relationship with hubby online but we really cemented our relationship in person. I hope your person is genuine.
 

LalaCity

Well-Known Member
Joined
Mar 4, 2007
Messages
3,044
Location
,
I tend to think this guy is not an FA, by definition, just a guy who is willing to be open-minded about dating a variety of sizes.

The question is really for you: would you be willing to date a man that finds slender women attractive? Would you be comfortable with that fact, or would it undermine your confidence and cause you to silently compare yourself to slim women and wonder if that's what he really wants?

For some BBWs, that feeling of uncertainty as to his "true" preference (even if he doesn't actually have just one preference) is too much to take on board.

Other BBWs don't have a problem with it.

It's a question I really think you have to seriously ask yourself before you become involved with a man who's not, strictly speaking, an FA. Otherwise, both of you could suffer from the potential problems such a situation might engender.
 

PunkyGurly74

History wonkette
Joined
Jan 21, 2011
Messages
922
Location
,
I tend to think this guy is not an FA, by definition, just a guy who is willing to be open-minded about dating a variety of sizes.

The question is really for you: would you be willing to date a man that finds slender women attractive? Would you be comfortable with that fact, or would it undermine your confidence and cause you to silently compare yourself to slim women and wonder if that's what he really wants?

For some BBWs, that feeling of uncertainty as to his "true" preference (even if he doesn't actually have just one preference) is too much to take on board.

Other BBWs don't have a problem with it.

It's a question I really think you have to seriously ask yourself before you become involved with a man who's not, strictly speaking, an FA. Otherwise, both of you could suffer from the potential problems such a situation might engender.


Honestly, it was a complete hypothetical. I haven't talked to anyone in like a year and i haven't been on a date in 2 years. lol Trust m

It was a complete hypothetical. Complete. I have "dated" guys who don't even know the term FA exists. I have also "dated" guys who claimed they were FA's and in the end made me feel horrible about my body.

I've you know been around the proverbial block...what happened I just read something where someone was exulting their virtues that they don't give a crap what society thinks...they are a non conformist and fat girls rock...and then I checked their links they offered up and none of it screamed non-conformist and non of it said I like fat girls. It screamed look at my collection of pretty thin girls world (my opinion only). I don't personally give a poop either way.

So, like I said..it was just a thought...

And to me actions speak louder than words but when you only know someone from online talk communication is the only gauge you have. So, i just wondered if other people thought like i did or differently. It really was just a topic and I didn't mean for it t of reflect on anything I did or didn't do in my life. I was just trying to jump into the community with both feet and participate.
 

LalaCity

Well-Known Member
Joined
Mar 4, 2007
Messages
3,044
Location
,
Honestly, it was a complete hypothetical. I haven't talked to anyone in like a year and i haven't been on a date in 2 years. lol Trust m

It was a complete hypothetical. Complete. I have "dated" guys who don't even know the term FA exists. I have also "dated" guys who claimed they were FA's and in the end made me feel horrible about my body.

I've you know been around the proverbial block...what happened I just read something where someone was exulting their virtues that they don't give a crap what society thinks...they are a non conformist and fat girls rock...and then I checked their links they offered up and none of it screamed non-conformist and non of it said I like fat girls. It screamed look at my collection of pretty thin girls world (my opinion only). I don't personally give a poop either way.

So, like I said..it was just a thought...

And to me actions speak louder than words but when you only know someone from online talk communication is the only gauge you have. So, i just wondered if other people thought like i did or differently. It really was just a topic and I didn't mean for it t of reflect on anything I did or didn't do in my life. I was just trying to jump into the community with both feet and participate.
Yeah, I should have made clear that I meant the general, hypothetical "you." :)
 

bigmac

Well-Known Member
Joined
Jun 24, 2007
Messages
10,349
Location
,
i would guess 40% but they wouldn't identify as FA, which is kind of a creepy term if you ask me. Fat admirer? I admire someone for their intellect or their personality, character,accomplishments etc.
I like chubby chaser better.

As for numbers I estimate (and the categories will overlap a bit):

-- 80% of guys will sleep with a fat girl if the guy thinks no one will find out (my wife says 100%);


-- 40% of guys would be OK with being seen with a fat chick in casual social situations (wife says 30%);

-- 10-15% of guys are OK with everyone in there life knowing (wife say get off the internet and watch the baby).
 
  • Like
Reactions: Jes

KittyKitten

Nerdysillysweetspicysaucy
Joined
Aug 27, 2009
Messages
4,013
Location
,
I like chubby chaser better.

As for numbers I estimate (and the categories will overlap a bit):

-- 80% of guys will sleep with a fat girl if the guy thinks no one will find out (my wife says 100%);


-- 40% of guys would be OK with being seen with a fat chick in casual social situations (wife says 30%);

-- 10-15% of guys are OK with everyone in there life knowing (wife say get off the internet and watch the baby).
Depends on a guy's definition of a 'fat girl'. One guy's fat may be another one's slim.
 

superodalisque

Well-Known Member
Joined
May 12, 2006
Messages
7,443
Location
,
i think the only question a big girl needs to answer about a man for herself is if he is into her. whether he is into big girls or not doesn't matter. just because a guy might be attracted to big girls doesn't mean he is attracted to every big girl. just because a man hasn't dated big girls before doesn't mean he can't be into an individual big girl. maybe we need to get off this sizeist kick and just focus on the people who are into us as individuals. after all, we say we don't want a sizeist world maybe we need to avoid falling into that trap ourselves. it would sure cut down on the guess work and it would be way more relaxing.

besides all of that, you can never really "meet" a man online. he can never know you that way either. so if a woman has never met someone except for an encounter on facebook it really doesn't matter what he says on there because that place isn't real. they call it the virtual world for a reason. IMO people give that stuff too much attention and i think women should guard against being the curiosity fattie and incorporating that stuff into their real life. people would be much happier and have many fewer chances of being disappointed if they just kept it real. if someone is not doing that they are just setting themselves up to be disappointed and are wasting much too much of their time on guesswork. besides if a guy likes you he'll tell you and he won't hem haw and make excuses while he nibbles around the edges. other than that he's probably just trying to get a fat curiousity piece to enjoy while his friends aren't looking.
 

superodalisque

Well-Known Member
Joined
May 12, 2006
Messages
7,443
Location
,
re: only 4% of men being FAs

maybe so when you consider that a lot of guys who like fat women would never call themselves an FA and don't like the term or their personal connotations around that and don't act out that way with all fat women.

also maybe its shooting yourself in the foot as a fat woman to always be questioning a man about why he is attracted to you like he is on trial and asking about his other gfs so you compare yourself to them. thats a big red flag and turn off to a lot of good guys.
 

superodalisque

Well-Known Member
Joined
May 12, 2006
Messages
7,443
Location
,
Okay, I see what you're saying. I agree that is a lot more difficult to tell online. I think the best way to tell online is to try to push them to meet.. if they're nervous or make lots of excuses, etc. they are probably not being genuine with you. Also, if they disappear for long periods of time with no reason or are only talking to you online late at night or when they're at work or something, it's probably safe to say they have a girlfriend. I do think it's a good sign that he added you to his FB list when he has his actual friends on there.. trying to hide his profile would be a pretty bad sign, IMO.
if a woman has to push a guy to meet thats the answer right there. if he's really interested he'll ask a woman asap.
 

superodalisque

Well-Known Member
Joined
May 12, 2006
Messages
7,443
Location
,
I don't think I've ever been with a man who specifically stated they were only attracted to big women. I think I would be just as put off by a man who said he only liked skinny woman as I would by a man who said he only liked BBWs.
Sure, a specific feature of whatever but never 'must weigh over 250lbs'.

Maybe I'm strange? The only person I've been with who didn't want to be seen with me in public was someone with a girlfriend.
me too. i feel it reduces women to something less than what they are and doesn't consider everything a woman has to offer.

personally i think a lot of closeted guys real issue isn't fat women. i think they have a kind of mental illness. most other guys i know are not so afraid of the world and what other people think to acknowledge what they like. i dunno but i find men who can't stand up for themselves unattractive and immasculated.
 
Top