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JABBA the HUTT...BHM Fantasy figure?

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Uriel

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So, I have been wondering this for a bit, actually. Many folks have fantasy figures, and I am sure that someone has an opinion on the subject.

And my offering...a little SW Fan Fiction (And I am barely a fan at this point, Mr Lucas has quite destroyed my childhood memories of the 3 original movies...)
I present to you, Jabba the Hutt, SSBHM (Well, it is really a stab at Fetishes, but a funny one, I think.)




Luke Skywalker: Seriously, we came all this way to rescue you and I mean...sorry dude.

Han Solo: I don't get it...I read the script, I get the girl.

Luke: I'll talk with her, she might listen to me. I sort of have this Force thing down...

Boba Fett (Noshing on a gyro between scenes)
"That ain't gonna help ya,Skywalker...Leia's got it bad for the Big Guy.
She's FFA, all the way. I've seen it before. Hutt's Smoove..."

Han Solo: Crap, Chewie's a Furry...he's been wearing that damned suit for years, refuses to talk in anything but 'Wookie'talk.
Then there's that thing I found you doing with the Taun Taun on Hoth...'

Luke: Hey man, you said you'd never mention that again...I am from the Farm. Sheeit, back home, you should see what those Jawas will do for a little hooch and some spare droid parts...'

Boba Fett: 'Hey man, I'm trying to eat over here!!! '

Han Solo: Sorry Fett. And now Leia...she said she wasn't into a guy unless he weighed at least 2 tons. I mean, I've put on a little weight since Star Wars...'

Luke: You mean A New Hope?

Fett: Pshaw...Don't get me started on Re imaginings, they turned me into a whiny Tongan kid in those damed Prequels.

R2-D2: "Retor-darto-Etorr Weel Re-ort!"

Fett: The little guy's got a point, at least none of us looks like a dildo.

Han Solo: Point taken Short stuff. And I've seen the way C3-PO looks at you. Does he even know that he's gay? I mean...Come out of the closet already, we all know, we all still accept you. Just...come out already.

Luke: Um, so, what'll we do now? There's some Banthas out near the Jundland Wastes who are real friendly...'

Fett: Jeesus!!! Oh sorry. Um, By the Force, Enough already. Solo, do you really hang with this guy? I mean, C'mon...


Luke" Fett, dude, I think you've just said more than in the entire Trilogy. What gives?

Fett: It was Vader. He's a control freak. Didn't want me to get more popular than him. It's in his contract. He's a total Dom, have you seen that get-up? The Fett don't play that way, so I just stayed quiet. You should have seen some of the stuff he wanted me to say in Empire...Anyways, let's blow this pop stand, I feel a wicked thirst comin' on, and the Fett needs some Mai Tai love.


Han: Ok, Ok...Ah screw it, let's go to Mos Eisley and get some Hookers and Blow.

R2-D2: "Gre-tor E-tor Reowr!"

Han: Yeah, yeah...and a lube job for you.

-Uriel
 

Uriel

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lol...wtf....lol

where did you get that or did you make that up yourself:D
I just came up with it.

I do that quite a lot...often verbally in conversations.
I am not ashamed to admit that I keep laughing myself when I read it. And I wrote the damned thing...it's the way I wrote Boba Fett. Calling himself 'The Fett'.

:D

-Uriel
 

Uriel

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wow...why haven't you taken up screen writing...or have you.

omg...lol:D

Hmm...Nope, although I used to write pretty Epic Play-by-Post RPGs over on ENWorld (Look up Uriel)

I have been working on something to shop to HBO/Showtime.whoever, based on my time working in Nightclubs. Problem is : The characters all resemble real people that I have worked with a bit too much...they might be hard to explain to them.

'Hey Ron, I noticed how one of the security guards in your little TV thingie bears a striking resemblance ...
Who am I kidding , Security Guards usually sound more like 'Dude, is that guy based on me!?! Really!?! Fuckin' Awesome!!!"

I did write some BHM Fantasy Sex thingie for a certain young lady yesterday, she wants me to post it over in the writer's area...P'raps. I'll send it to you if you like.

-Uriel
 
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Hmm...Nope, although I used to write pretty Epic Play-by-Post RPGs over on ENWorld (Look up Uriel)

I have been working on something to shop to HBO/Showtime.whoever, based on my time working in Nightclubs. Problem is : The characters all resemble real people that I have worked with a bit too much...they might be hard to explain to them.

'Hey Ron, I noticed how one of the security guards in your little TV thingie bears a striking resemblance ...
Who am I kidding , Security Guards usually sound more like 'Dude, is that guy based on me!?! Really!?! Fuckin' Awesome!!!"

I did write some BHM Fantasy Sex thingie for a certain young lady yesterday, she wants me to post it over in the writer's area...P'raps. I'll send it to you if you like.

-Uriel



Wow...once i started it i couldn't stop. As an avid reader of erotica, that was very very good. I blushed and giggled throughout the story. I totally got a visual from it. I think you should post that as well...thanks for sending it to me.:D:wubu:
 

WhiteHotRazor

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I liked the Luke trying to justify his deviant lifestyle "I am from the farm" and "for a little hooch and spare droid parts"

Not bad Sir
 

Uriel

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Wow...once i started it i couldn't stop. As an avid reader of erotica, that was very very good. I blushed and giggled throughout the story. I totally got a visual from it. I think you should post that as well...thanks for sending it to me.:D:wubu:
Why thank you.

I had been thinking about the main character (Duke Alvredd, not the scullery maid) for a week or two. I am a gaming nerd, and for the life of me have never played a really BIG character in any RPG (I am usually the GM/DM/Ref, but still).
The idea for Duke Alvredd sort of emerged, and (At the least) I am going to include a less graphic version of him in one of the games that I run.

But, back to SW...


Mos Eisley, the Cantina

'Doo-doo-do-Doo-doo-do-doo, Doo-doo-do-do-doo '
***FZWOOSH***
(A headless body hits the floor)

All eyes turn towards the table in the corner

Boba Fett: My Bad...It's just. I hate that friggin tune, ya know? Same tune over and over...Fuck, my head. What'd I drink???

Han: I sort of lost track after the 6th Cloud City Iced Tea... Where's Skywalker?

(Talking to some Jawas across the bar)

Luke: Oh yeah? Yeah, I might have some extra servos and a flask of gin around here somewhere...let's say we go out to my Speeder and talk about it...?

Fett: Do you see wheere he's ...Seriously, I can't believe you hang with that guy. And the Wookie, or whatever he is under that Fursuit.
Dude, we gotta get a new gig.

Han: I'm sorry? And your friends are any better? Vader with his weird Choking thing, What's with that? Why doesn't he use the Force for something good, like controlling the Roulette ball. Now THAT would be impressive! Luke just uses it to...Never mind, Oh Crap, too late.The visual is there again. Dammit Skywalker! I need another drink.

Fett: And don't forget the Asthma...you would think he could use the Force to cure his asthma. Right? barkeep, another Mai Tai over here!

Bartender: It's closing time, you Bounty Hunter Scum!

***FZWOOSH***
(A headless body hits the floor...yet again)

Fett: It's never closing time for The Fett, Buddy...Never.

R2-D2 : Rezort!! Pzrowww!!!

Fett: Shut up and go and get my drink,before I introduce you to a really lonely Rancor I know, Dildo-Droid.


-Uriel
 

Dr. P Marshall

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I can't believe this is the second time someone has started a thread asking if Jabba the Hutt is sexy to some FFAs.

http://www.dimensionsmagazine.com/forums/showthread.php?t=34090

And looking at the date on that one, it is apparently a question we are asked at the beginning of every new year.:rolleyes: It speaks volumes about the lack of ACTUAL BHM sex symbols out there I guess.

Anyway, I believe in that thread I went on record as anti-mollusk and my position still stands. I do not find Jabba sexy. In general, men/creatures covered in slime turn me off.:p
 

Uriel

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If he was a Monkey, you' be all over that shit...

:D

-Uriel


PS:Off to bed again.


I can't believe this is the second time someone has started a thread asking if Jabba the Hutt is sexy to some FFAs.

http://www.dimensionsmagazine.com/forums/showthread.php?t=34090

And looking at the date on that one, it is apparently a question we are asked at the beginning of every new year.:rolleyes: It speaks volumes about the lack of ACTUAL BHM sex symbols out there I guess.

Anyway, I believe in that thread I went on record as anti-mollusk and my position still stands. I do not find Jabba sexy. In general, men/creatures covered in slime turn me off.:p
 

Hole

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Jabba the hutt is not a fantasy figure for me. :eek:Creative writing.. Couldn't get a lot of it because I am not a Star Wars fan. I'm still cool though.
 

Uriel

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Yeah, I should have called this 'Princess Leia, FFA? ' and put a more positive spin on it. Hmmm...


-Uriel
 

Asrai

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Jabba might not be a BHM fantsy figure to me but give me a throne, food and slave girls I'd have nothing against lying naked all day showing off my fat.
 

rabbitislove

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Agreed with P Marshall. That whole immobility/slime/evil fat slime creature thing makes me dry.

Fat Han Solo however, that would've been hawt.

Gawd I love Star Wars.
 

anybodys

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OK, I'm going to go ahead and admit I know next to nothing about Star Wars-- I've seen the movies once but am definitely no expert. But I remember my dad saying that in the original Jabba looked human, not like a big slug. I think maybe he had just seen a picture of Declan Mulholland, the stand-in, and gotten confused. But what I'm getting at is no, I couldn't really see Jabba the Hutt as sexy, seeing as he's a giant slug. But funny script tho. :^)
 

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