Last night I masturbated. I didn't mean to. I wasn't thinking about it at all when I went to bed. But my husband is out of town and I never sleep well in the bed alone anymore. So I was tossing and turning. My hand brushed my belly and I thought, "oooo." So it went on from there. What was so wonderfully different from past experiences was how aware I was of the sheets rubbing my belly and how much my body jiggled through the process. I love the feeling of my belly being rubbed during intercourse and I've felt the jiggle too. Its been good. But this was by myself with no other "distractions." It was awesome. So why the title? Afterwards I was laying in my bed and suddenly I started fantasizing about losing weight and figuring how much I would have to lose for the Doctor to smile at me again. I stopped. What was going on? I had just had this awesome experience because I was bigger and I'm thinking about losing? I started examining my feelings and found embarrassement and dare I say, shame? What did I have to be shameful about? I hadn't done anything wrong or unnatural. So here it is. I'm outing the shame. This post is me saying, "Get out, Shame. You have no place with me!"