I figured this notion was distinct enough to go in a separate thread rather than just responding to this yummy conversation, so here it is: Who's limits are made to be broken?
While I strive to make sure my opinions are expressed fully and completely, when I come up with them late at night coming off a caffeine binder, I lack the ability to do it in a less wordy and more concise fashion. With that in mind, I've put the main points in bold, so if you don't feel like reading this rather long post, you can skip through. If you are feeling staunchly disagreeable, however, I encourage you to read it all before you reply.
In many conversations with women who are aroused by weight gain, it is very rare that they don't have any limits. We all know that there are people who are actually shooting for immobility, and regardless of how we feel about such a goal you can't deny that it exists for some people, but a rare few. Most women have a limit of some kind that they express out right, be it a vague state of being, a general size or range or weight, a specific number, or immobility. What I've noticed however, from my conversations and from a good deal of the responses in the other thread, is that often when a woman (and I would imagine a man as well) is turned on by her weight gain, especially if she is sexually submissive, her limit only applies while she's without a feeder/encourager, and in fact is or can become a sexual device.
Someone in the other thread mentioned that setting a limit will only likely lead to frustration when they get there and can't slow down or stop right away. There's something to that. For those who have a number or range in mind for how big they'll let themselves get, I feel that unless you're only imposing a limit once you're close to it and can feel the ensuing difficulties around the corner, or you already have a problem, there is a little voice telling you your limit really won't really do you any good when you get there. For those with a number in mind, that makes psychological sense; if you shoot for a lower weight then you won't be so bummed out or surprised when keep going, because you'll at least be slowing down. But even for the people who hate using numbers and hate setting goals or specific limits, they still have to have a limit, because they have to feel responsible.
That seems to be the general mentality, that there has to be a limit, some kind of limit, or there is worry and guilt. BUT, when an encouraging partner steps in and they know it's ok to do something that makes them happy, it's a lot easier for a lot of people to give up their self control and let the chips fall where they may. For some relationships, this is simply the reality of trying to limit yourself from doing something that gives you (and your partner) extreme pleasure, and it just happens. You might just gain a little more than you want, or end up being bigger than you had even imagined getting, but eventually you slow down and let sensibilities take a hold of your rampant lust affair with food and fat.
First query: For those with an idea of what there limiting weight would be, how many people reading this simply know that this will happen and accept it (perhaps fear it), and how many are, or suspect they will be aroused by it as well?
I've also observed that when the weight limit becomes a sexual device, the mechanism that can cause this to be such an arousing experience can vary. Some women feel a sense of exhilaration in giving in to their guilty pleasure, when they know they shouldn't. While for some it's about giving into their feeder, being submissive to their desires and being pushed beyond their limits. That seems to be a biggie.
Second Query: How many people here gain completely on their own terms, having a supportive (or obedient) partner, but are aroused by their lack of self control when they gain more than they should? How many instead are turned on when they are pushed beyond their limits, forced by someone else to give into their possibly destructive desires? And for either I'm curious to know regardless of whether it's just a few lbs more than what you think you should weigh, or if you suspect that a feeder in your life would shatter your limit.
But what's very interesting is that the most intense sexual energy exists in a very nuanced, and potentially dangerous play between a woman's desires and her fears. I've talked to women that would never let themselves get to a certain size -- be it 300 lbs, 600 lbs, to a point with limited mobility, or complete immobility -- but, they admit that if they met a feeder they trusted who they knew wouldn't ever stop, would have no limits and keep pushing them even if they change their mind, they will be helpless to stop them. Become addicted, loose self control, and leave any limits at the door. Some to a point, and some to no end.
But I'm not talking about women who are acknowledging this as a caveat for for the type of feeders they wish to avoid. There are some women who know this about themselves, and want to meet such a person because it would make them happy. They want to gain more than they should; a little, a lot, or even want to see how big they can get before they die. But it also scares them, and/or they feel guilty for wanting it, and if they're helpless to stop, then they can say to themselves, "well there's nothing I can do, so I might as well enjoy it." And for some people, that idea in itself is it's own turn on. Being forced to do something they want but could never let themselves have, so they can still say they set a limit for themselves.
This idea doesn't only apply to immobility, or even only to weight gain, but it is always controversial, and here is no exception. I think that this is partly because some people can't reconcile the notion in their head or believe that there ARE people who could feel this way, so to them it's morally deplorable, and they commence to fill a thread with douchie comments. But more so, I feel that there is a cynicism (for women this is often a perfectly reasonable cynicism given their interactions with horny and inconsiderate feeders on the internets) to blame, that feeders without limits simply assume that a woman turned on by weight gain never really has a limit. There-in lies the danger.
In any healthy relationship where power is exchanged, where there is a dominant or submissive partner, there is never truly such a thing as forced, because it's only a healthy relationship if your partner has communicated their desires, and expressed implicitly that they want to be loose control, be controlled, be made helpless, or be forced. They are deciding to do it because it is what they want, and they seek out someone or allow someone into their life who will make it happen.
But bad communication has always been the bane of healthy relationships. Ladies (and men), as much as it annoys you to be asked again and again what your limits are, and if you're into immobility, it is GOOD that those questions are asked. You may realize the limit you make known might be off from the reality of a relationship with a feeder, as long as feeders are very open about what THEY want, you know which ones to stay away from. Which ones to be vague and coy with over your weight gaining desires, and which ones to tell flat out "NO I'M NOT INTO THAT GO AWAY." Otherwise, it's very possible to have a horror story. An enthusiastic feeder who doesn't tell his partner how far he or she wants to go until they're in a deeply committed relationship with someone who doesn't want to loose control. The feedee could give in to an inconsiderate feeder and end up in physical and/or emotional agony, or a feeder would find himself with a deeply committed relationship with someone he or she cares for but has no interest in gaining anywhere near as much weight as hoped, creating a high velocity impact between reality and the feeders fantasy. But at least in that scenario the feeder could be a jerk and just leave, not so easy for the feedee.
So yeah, limits are a funny thing. Some people have them set in stone, but for some people a limit is a little more fuzzy and less certain. So, I'm curious to know how many feedees (or gainers, or foodees that like getting fat, or however you want to describe yourself as a person sexually charged by weight gain) have or know they will have fun breaking their own rules? Keeping in mind that before when I queried "how many"-- I'm not looking for a count, or yeas or nays, just personal thoughts, feelings, and experiences with whichever degree of "rule breaking" applies to you.
This post is directed towards people who are in one way or another into, interested in, or curious about the any aspect of this concept. And if you're simply NOT into anything discussed in this thread, your lack of a response will adequately express that opinion. However grand standing WILL stunt open discussion and contribute nothing to the conversation.
Now, who's naughty?
While I strive to make sure my opinions are expressed fully and completely, when I come up with them late at night coming off a caffeine binder, I lack the ability to do it in a less wordy and more concise fashion. With that in mind, I've put the main points in bold, so if you don't feel like reading this rather long post, you can skip through. If you are feeling staunchly disagreeable, however, I encourage you to read it all before you reply.
In many conversations with women who are aroused by weight gain, it is very rare that they don't have any limits. We all know that there are people who are actually shooting for immobility, and regardless of how we feel about such a goal you can't deny that it exists for some people, but a rare few. Most women have a limit of some kind that they express out right, be it a vague state of being, a general size or range or weight, a specific number, or immobility. What I've noticed however, from my conversations and from a good deal of the responses in the other thread, is that often when a woman (and I would imagine a man as well) is turned on by her weight gain, especially if she is sexually submissive, her limit only applies while she's without a feeder/encourager, and in fact is or can become a sexual device.
Someone in the other thread mentioned that setting a limit will only likely lead to frustration when they get there and can't slow down or stop right away. There's something to that. For those who have a number or range in mind for how big they'll let themselves get, I feel that unless you're only imposing a limit once you're close to it and can feel the ensuing difficulties around the corner, or you already have a problem, there is a little voice telling you your limit really won't really do you any good when you get there. For those with a number in mind, that makes psychological sense; if you shoot for a lower weight then you won't be so bummed out or surprised when keep going, because you'll at least be slowing down. But even for the people who hate using numbers and hate setting goals or specific limits, they still have to have a limit, because they have to feel responsible.
That seems to be the general mentality, that there has to be a limit, some kind of limit, or there is worry and guilt. BUT, when an encouraging partner steps in and they know it's ok to do something that makes them happy, it's a lot easier for a lot of people to give up their self control and let the chips fall where they may. For some relationships, this is simply the reality of trying to limit yourself from doing something that gives you (and your partner) extreme pleasure, and it just happens. You might just gain a little more than you want, or end up being bigger than you had even imagined getting, but eventually you slow down and let sensibilities take a hold of your rampant lust affair with food and fat.
First query: For those with an idea of what there limiting weight would be, how many people reading this simply know that this will happen and accept it (perhaps fear it), and how many are, or suspect they will be aroused by it as well?
I've also observed that when the weight limit becomes a sexual device, the mechanism that can cause this to be such an arousing experience can vary. Some women feel a sense of exhilaration in giving in to their guilty pleasure, when they know they shouldn't. While for some it's about giving into their feeder, being submissive to their desires and being pushed beyond their limits. That seems to be a biggie.
Second Query: How many people here gain completely on their own terms, having a supportive (or obedient) partner, but are aroused by their lack of self control when they gain more than they should? How many instead are turned on when they are pushed beyond their limits, forced by someone else to give into their possibly destructive desires? And for either I'm curious to know regardless of whether it's just a few lbs more than what you think you should weigh, or if you suspect that a feeder in your life would shatter your limit.
But what's very interesting is that the most intense sexual energy exists in a very nuanced, and potentially dangerous play between a woman's desires and her fears. I've talked to women that would never let themselves get to a certain size -- be it 300 lbs, 600 lbs, to a point with limited mobility, or complete immobility -- but, they admit that if they met a feeder they trusted who they knew wouldn't ever stop, would have no limits and keep pushing them even if they change their mind, they will be helpless to stop them. Become addicted, loose self control, and leave any limits at the door. Some to a point, and some to no end.
But I'm not talking about women who are acknowledging this as a caveat for for the type of feeders they wish to avoid. There are some women who know this about themselves, and want to meet such a person because it would make them happy. They want to gain more than they should; a little, a lot, or even want to see how big they can get before they die. But it also scares them, and/or they feel guilty for wanting it, and if they're helpless to stop, then they can say to themselves, "well there's nothing I can do, so I might as well enjoy it." And for some people, that idea in itself is it's own turn on. Being forced to do something they want but could never let themselves have, so they can still say they set a limit for themselves.
This idea doesn't only apply to immobility, or even only to weight gain, but it is always controversial, and here is no exception. I think that this is partly because some people can't reconcile the notion in their head or believe that there ARE people who could feel this way, so to them it's morally deplorable, and they commence to fill a thread with douchie comments. But more so, I feel that there is a cynicism (for women this is often a perfectly reasonable cynicism given their interactions with horny and inconsiderate feeders on the internets) to blame, that feeders without limits simply assume that a woman turned on by weight gain never really has a limit. There-in lies the danger.
In any healthy relationship where power is exchanged, where there is a dominant or submissive partner, there is never truly such a thing as forced, because it's only a healthy relationship if your partner has communicated their desires, and expressed implicitly that they want to be loose control, be controlled, be made helpless, or be forced. They are deciding to do it because it is what they want, and they seek out someone or allow someone into their life who will make it happen.
But bad communication has always been the bane of healthy relationships. Ladies (and men), as much as it annoys you to be asked again and again what your limits are, and if you're into immobility, it is GOOD that those questions are asked. You may realize the limit you make known might be off from the reality of a relationship with a feeder, as long as feeders are very open about what THEY want, you know which ones to stay away from. Which ones to be vague and coy with over your weight gaining desires, and which ones to tell flat out "NO I'M NOT INTO THAT GO AWAY." Otherwise, it's very possible to have a horror story. An enthusiastic feeder who doesn't tell his partner how far he or she wants to go until they're in a deeply committed relationship with someone who doesn't want to loose control. The feedee could give in to an inconsiderate feeder and end up in physical and/or emotional agony, or a feeder would find himself with a deeply committed relationship with someone he or she cares for but has no interest in gaining anywhere near as much weight as hoped, creating a high velocity impact between reality and the feeders fantasy. But at least in that scenario the feeder could be a jerk and just leave, not so easy for the feedee.
So yeah, limits are a funny thing. Some people have them set in stone, but for some people a limit is a little more fuzzy and less certain. So, I'm curious to know how many feedees (or gainers, or foodees that like getting fat, or however you want to describe yourself as a person sexually charged by weight gain) have or know they will have fun breaking their own rules? Keeping in mind that before when I queried "how many"-- I'm not looking for a count, or yeas or nays, just personal thoughts, feelings, and experiences with whichever degree of "rule breaking" applies to you.
This post is directed towards people who are in one way or another into, interested in, or curious about the any aspect of this concept. And if you're simply NOT into anything discussed in this thread, your lack of a response will adequately express that opinion. However grand standing WILL stunt open discussion and contribute nothing to the conversation.
Now, who's naughty?
