Loneliness

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PhatPhilosopher

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What do you do when you have nothing left in the tank?

When every interaction with others leaves you cold?

When everything around you screams how ugly, pathetic & worthless you are?

I don’t know. Any ideas?
 

BigElectricKat

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I feel like that almost every day. But I try to focus on the rare good things that happen.
 

Unbasher

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I started therapy and after a few weeks already I felt myself changing. If that is not an option for you, have you tried emailing with someone from this community? Friendly words that you can save and read whenever you need them most might help.
 

Rotwang

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I can understand how depressed you must be feeling. I found two BOOKS that may be helpful. Both have won a truckload of awards. See their reviews on Amazon.com for complete details. "BREAKING OUT OF LONELINESS" and "HOW TO SURVIVE THE LOSS OF A LOVE".
 

Frogman

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What do you do when you have nothing left in the tank?

When every interaction with others leaves you cold?

When everything around you screams how ugly, pathetic & worthless you are?

I don’t know. Any ideas?
My default is to wallow. Curl into a ball, hide, avoid, retract into myself.

However, I know deep down—and this has been confirmed by countless experiences—that some time spent in nature can be an effective antidote to this state of mind.
Nature is fundamentally neutral. It doesn’t pass judgment, or demands. For me, a long walk in the woods, alone, feels a bit like “going home.”

If you have access to nature, try to take advantage of it—particularly when you feel this way.
 

LarryTheNoodleGuy

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What do you do when you have nothing left in the tank?

When every interaction with others leaves you cold?

When everything around you screams how ugly, pathetic & worthless you are?

I don’t know. Any ideas?
I have ideas, having overcome loneliness and treating it as the momentary thought it is and then moving on, or calling someone - even the suicide hotline will listen to you if you're lonely - and then moving onto the next thing and, step by step, moving out of the darkness and into the relative light, after which we all die anyway.

I ask you though - WHO is SCREAMING? The trees? The grass? The toilet? If they are screaming, video it and make a mint on the viral video path! If not, might want to take a look at your drama, your old stories you have on "repeat" in ya head, your penchant for complaint.

I'm on your side and I've been there. Practially every day, I wake up in this state. Then I fight back. I take an immediate shower. I put on inspirational YouTube vids and listen while I make coffee. I straighten my place out. I make a list of what needs to be accomplished today no matter my feelings. March forth, like a soldier, a general. Fuck defeat, fuck inertia, fuck depression. I'm a fat tank mowing down all things in my path! I will bump obstacles out of the way with my big belly! FAT MAN IN DA HOUSE

Finally, be nice to Phat Philosopher - do his laundry, clean his house, buy him a cookie, or let him sit and sigh and gather his energy - and listen to Kirkegaarde a few more times.
 

LizzieJones

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Sep 19, 2018
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Canada
When everything around you screams how ugly, pathetic & worthless you are?
I never allow myself to think like that. I might not be attractive to myself or many others but
I am (in my opinion) a beautiful, kind, honest and intelligent person. I'm also no better then anyone else.
We are ALL equal in my eyes.
 

Shotha

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I don't ever feel lonely. I think that this is to do with my feeling of connection with other beings, i.e. other human beings, animals and plants. I'm always aware of life all around me. And, of course, it fits in very well with the well known experience of serenity and warmth that pets bring people. I believe that Mother Nature has a place for us all. Otherwise we wouldn't be here. Although I never experience loneliness, I do have times when I feel down and these things help me then, too.

A couple of years ago, I started to study the Sanskrit language and through this I was introduced to a book called the Bhagavad Gita, the most popular book of the Hindu scriptures. I'm not suggesting that people should convert to Hinduism. However, the book contains a great deal of advice about mastering ones feelings. Much of this advice is now a well established part of modern mainstream medicine. The Bhagavad Gita explains how to let our happiness come from within ourselves rather than letting it depend on other people and circumstances. I find that putting these ideas into practice helps me to minimize misery and maximize happiness. I now understand that the rest of the world doesn't owe me their approval of my mind and body. What counts is that I feel happy with my mind and body.

I believe that being active helps us to keep our mood buoyant. Hobbies, interests, friends, pets, creating a living space that suits us are all things, which can help. I believe the Greek proverb, which says that "Life dries tears away." When we are down, it's no use moping around and feeling sorry for ourselves. The sooner we pick ourselves up and carry on with our lives, the sooner we start to feel good again. Sometimes it can be hard to do but the effort to do this is well worthwhile. If you feel miserable, you should put a fake smile on your face. That fake smile will soon turn into a real one. Even a fake smile will help to stop negative thoughts from entering your head.
 

escapist

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I go for a walk and work on creating the life I want and visualizing it as I walk.
 

Colonial Warrior

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Coamo, Puerto Rico, USA
I just feel that way. It is terrible. Waking up every single morning without expecting something wonderful to happen. Seeking into your most inner self trying to find out whar you have done that put you in the place you are right now. Feeling that no one (even God) cares about you.

Sometimes, when I hear the sound of an airplane flying near, I feel myself stuck in a jungle island without any hope of being out of here.

I recognize I made many mistakes and took wrong ways and made wrong things but also I feel the price I have to pay it is too high.
 

Shotha

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I never feel lonely. I wish that I knew why, because if I knew why, at could share it and alleviate other people's loneliness. Perhaps all that I can do is share little bits and pieces that seem to be part of the puzzle of why some of us never get lonely. I'm certain that a lot of it has something to do with how I feel connected with nature. There are a
 

Jerry Thomas

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Apr 22, 2011
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246
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Badger State, USA
In my younger days, I felt extremely, painfully lonely, especially on the weekends when I was alone and didn't have other people around me from work. It's not nearly as bad now, but I still get times when I feel alone and down. I think this is normal for any human being, so first of all accept the fact that you will not always feel "good" and will be lonely sometimes. I hesitate to offer advice, but for me it always helps to be around other people, even if they are just strangers. So, for example, I go to Starbucks (a lot) and enjoy just sitting there people-watching with all the other people who are there by themselves. I also volunteer a lot, with brings me into contact with a variety of different people. And finally the old adage to "count your blessings" is not bad either - I live in a large city and so I have lots of opportunities to see people who are definitely worse off than I am. And try not to spend too much time in front of a computer screen - Facebook is not a replacement for real friends. Get out, do things, take a class, and know that you are part of the world and the rest of humanity. Sorry if this advice sounds trite, but I truly hope things will be better for you.
 

Shotha

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New Zealand
I also volunteer a lot
I hadn't realized that volunteering had anything to do with not feeling lonely, but I volunteer a lot, too. And when I'm at an event, gathering, meeting, party or whatever as a non-volunteer, I inevitably find myself doing something to help. Thank you, @Jerry Thomas , for making me see the connection.

These days, I also Skype rather than send PM's. I think that using Skype is more like real life. Talking is our natural way of communication - not typing. And you can pretend you're startrekking.
 

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