Meeting in the bar vs. Internet dating

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I was reading "Ok fat admirers...." thread started by CuteyChubb which was actually very interesting and I came across that internet is all different than real life - well that's not really all truth imho.
Lots of people were bashing the internet way of dating but hey... it also has some pros. Let's say I meet somebody in the chat and chat with that person for a while... get to know her personality etc. I'm talking about being genuine here.. no faking somebody else. I know lots of you can say that there are lots of faked people around but... belive me, I'm online for years and people who I met on the internet and then in real life were actually same people I knew over the internet.
I'm pretty sure that I was same person as I appeared online - they are all still my friends... I think it just takes some lack of trust at the begining, and creating even bit of distance... to make yourself more interesting and safe dissapointment for both sides.
I know that bar is better place to meet somebody because first of all you meet local people, you can judge appearance of that person straight away... But, is it ok to judge people this way? And another thing... not many of us are in the bar 100% sober. I'm usually not. And please don't tell me that you can get to know your potential partner during bar conversation before evening ends... I don't want to say that meeting girls in the bar is bad... cause it's lovely way of meeting people. Most of us(singles) is socialising for that purpose and that's great, but we can't say that real life meeting is wonderful and online dating is just waste of time. And yes I am an FA and I have no problem approaching big girl in the bar if she looks nice but I also don't decline online dating... it's like typing with one hand - you'll get it done finally but with two hands you'll get there quicker.
Cheers
 

goofy girl

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I don't think anyone was "bashing" meeting online, but it is a completely different dynamic than meeting face to face. If people are happy to meet online and it works out for them, fabulous. In my personal experiences it never seemed to work out. Chemistry is very important, and for me that doesn't always come across the screen as it does in person. Bottom line is, do what works for you, but whatever the method is you need to be approachable and able to approach people, and not hide who you are or be ashamed.

I personally have met some of my best friends online, and it is a wonderful outlet for networking and meeting people, but you can't be afraid of the "real world" and should take every opportunity you can to find whatever it is you're looking for.
 

Dr. Feelgood

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The advantage of meeting somebody in a bar is that he or she looks better after a couple of drinks. The disadvantage is waking up in a motel in Salt Lake City and wondering how you got there from Boston.
 

djfiam23

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Me and my wife met in a bar, too!!:D Yay bars!! It was a Thursday night (Ladies Night), October 7, 1999. Sobriety is overrated when you first meet someone. I could tell by the way she was dancing that she was already buzzed, so I had to get my buzz on so I could have the courage to hit on her. Ahhhh yes.....nothin' like bein single, drunk and twenty-something in a bar!!;) But eight years later, I certainly don't miss it.
 

Shosh

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Hi. I think it is probably preferable to meet someone face to face where you can see the whites of their eyes so to speak. The internet is an incredible medium but it has also contributed to a bit of a breakdown in our basic standards of how we communicate with others at times.
People take liberties and say things that are false, and that they would never say to a persons face. This is especially true if one person is making a jugement on anothers character. How can they do that if they don't even know the person IRL? They can not, but I digress. My sister hates the internet for the purposes of seeking a relationship and she made some very interesting points to me to that effect.
Having said that it is Caveat Emptor? Buyer beware.

I belong to a social club so I meet people that way. Maybe that could be a solution for you.

Best of luck with it.:)
Susannah
 

ksandru

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I was reading the comments within this post, and I had to post..

I decided to get back to socializing about 6 months after my fiance died in a house fire in May, 2001. I went to some BBW/FA parties & dances & met some really nice people. But I knew the bar scene was really not my style. I joined an online Yahoo chat club & met some wonderful men & women online. We talked about everything and anything. Occasionally, the "trolls" would pop in looking for cyber, but the club's Moderator was good at getting rid of them. I then saw a photo of a longhaired man with a beard. I thought he was attractive & engaged in chat with him. I thought over time that Nick was special & unique. He loved BBBWs' (which of course I am) and we chatted, e-mailed & talked over the telephone for over a year. Nick was living in Denmark, so I thought that we would be good friends, if nothing else. As fate would have it, our club decided to get together on a cruise to the Bahamas. Some of the club members decided to go (Nick & I included) and we went. When we finally met each other, I knew I was going to spend the rest of my life with this man, and he with me. We were married November 14, 2003, and in April, 2005, welcomed our beautiful baby boy. So online romance can happen. Just be careful and also try to be as honest as possible. If you want to meet offline, be sure to do it publicly & keep an open mind.
 

rentahero

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why not just do both? meet people in bars, and meet people online. The best of both world. I never understood what the argument was.
 

supersoup

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why not just do both? meet people in bars, and meet people online. The best of both world. I never understood what the argument was.
agreed, i've met the most marvelous people in my life through both avenues.
 

stefanie

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I was reading the comments within this post, and I had to post..
... We were married November 14, 2003, and in April, 2005, welcomed our beautiful baby boy. So online romance can happen. Just be careful and also try to be as honest as possible. If you want to meet offline, be sure to do it publicly & keep an open mind.
Hi, ksandru, that's a lovely story. The best of luck to all three of you.
 

lifeneedsmore

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I met my wonderful husband online. Here's our story...

I was separated from my first husband and had been dating someone but we were having problems. I saw Rick's personal ad on Curvydates.com and he was in a town called Hamilton. I thought he was in Hamilton, Tx. which wasn't very far from where I lived. I answered his ad and the next day I realized he was in Hamilton ONTARIO, Canada. I kind of figured whatever and didn't really plan on trying to write him anymore. He wrote me back and come to find out, he had family in my home town here in Texas. They had moved here like 30 years ago because his uncle had been in the military. We kept writing and had a phone call every now and then for about 8 months or so while I was still seeing the other guy and trying to make that work. So...December 2003, he came to visit his family. On January 2, 2004, we went to lunch. I can't say it was love at first sight, but I knew I liked him a lot. We just really got along and had so much in common. He decided to stay for a while to see how things would go between us. It ended up that his family knew some of my family and friends. His cousin is best friends with my friend's older sister. It was just very strange and some people say that we were destined to be together. We were engaged on February 25, 2004 (I proposed!) and married on June 18, 2004. My divorce from my first husband after 13 years of marriage was final 29 days before we got married. We've been married for over 3 years now and I couldn't be happier.
 

liz (di-va)

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The disadvantage is waking up in a motel in Salt Lake City and wondering how you got there from Boston.
That's exactly what can happen when you meet someone online too ;). Seriously!

Despite a certain amount of superficial social ease, I'm kinda awful at meeting people at bars. Shy. Usually quite uncomfortable from tryin to perch my ass on a barstool 1/100 its size, sweaty and not able to hear anything anybody's saying. But it's not impossible! The guy just...has to be doing some howYOUdoin for us to have a conversation--which I think was the point to the other thread--don't be afraid to talk to your local intriguing-to-you BBW in a bar, since they probably won't know yer an FA.

I'm going to a bar tonight for dinner! Will endeavor to send out come-to-me-FA rays :). See what happens...

Love to hear the happy-ending stories...funny and fun! :) And sweet. As always.
 

ppinkie

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Eh.

Ive never met anyone in a bar or club. Im pretty shy, so Im not gonna be the one approaching guys, but Im not "stand off-ish" either. I think I am pretty approachable, but I figure that young FA's are scared to be so open.

Ive never met anyone online either. Ive had dates with folks I have met online, but it has never gone anywhere. Ive talked with folks Ive met online, but tend to just be "let down gently". This actually hurts more than being ignored in a bar, as I feel that since the person has gotten to know my personality first rather than my body, and they still dont want to be with me.

I think that meeting online is better for me, since Im not a big flirt, and it is nice to know that the people that I am talking to, are indeed single.
However, it has some kind of pathetic factor in the fact that I have to pay to get a date. It feels like some kinda warped prostitution, that I dont reap any financial benifits from.
 

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