USBBW, WG Formula, XXWG - what happens when you will do just about anything to relieve a cold has enormous consequences Megaton Bomb by Henry Newten Sarah sneezed for the 147th time since she'd gotten sick. She was keeping count. As a scientist, she liked to quantify her misery. And she truly was miserable. Her department was on the verge of an incredible breakthrough, yet here she was, stuck at home, feeling sick, when she should be at work, doing true scientist's work (in other words inventing something that's either really useless, or really dangerous). There was important work to be done! Robots weren't going to program themselves to act kind of like really slow, inefficient people who fell down alot and were boring to talk to! Science was her life. And she was tired of this stupid cold preventing her from living it. Just as her self-pity was at its peak, her phone rang. She answered it miserably. "(sniff) Hello?" "Sarah! It's me, Steve!" "Oh! (sniff) Hey, Steve! What's up?" "You've gotta come over to the lab!" "(sniff) Why?" "Because I just heard that the guys over at the medicinal department have created something that could help you!" "Really? (sniff)" "Yeah! It won't cure you, exactly, since the common cold is, by it's nature, impossible to cure, but it's supposed to ease the symptoms to practically nothing, and it should prevent your cold from spreading to others." Her heart soared. "That's (sniff) great! But...how do I get it? Those medicine guys (sniff) never share their stuff with the other departments. And are you sure it's (sniff) safe?" "It's completely safe. They've already tested it countless times. They're on the verge of publicly announcing it. But we need you back at the mechanical department right away. We need to meet our deadline, or else our funding will be as dead as our social lives. And as for how you'll get your hands on the stuff, a buddy of mine got the product's serial number. All you have to do is sneak over to their department and get the stuff." "...alright (sniff) I'll be right over." Twenty minutes and seventeen sneezes later, she was at the lab. "Heya, Sarah," said Steve, jogging over. "(sniff) Hi. So, what's the serial number." "Here, my buddy wrote it down." He passed her a piece of paper that had 90690 written on it. "Thanks, Steve. You're a (sniff) lifesaver." "Don't mention it. Oh, and if anyone catches you, remember...I'm not the one who told you any of this." "Gotcha." She then began the laborious trek to the medicinal department of the building. It was a long walk, and having to go the whole way while feeling sick, and trying not to sneeze, made it even more unpleasant. And Sarah was never that healthy, even at the best of times. She was, not to mince words, fat. About 275 pounds, and below average height. In fact, her weight problems were the only thing keeping her from being deemed the best-looking scientist in the department, since she had a cute face, and fetching red hair. Currently, her nose was just about as red as her aforementioned hair. But with any luck that would soon be fixed. Ah, good. She had reached her destination. The medicine guys were probably all in the testing area, so their storage facilities should be empty. And voila, they were. She looked around the shelf-filled rooms, amongst the countless bottles, trying to find the right serial. She took the paper out of her pocket, and looked at it again. 06906 Ah-ha! She found it. She cheerfully opened the bottle, and was surprised to see that there was only one pill inside it. Ah, well. At least this way, I don't have to worry about how many I should take, she thought. She dry-swallowed the pill, and then headed back. Steve was waiting for her, looking rather anxious. "Mission (sniff) Accomplished!" she declared. "No one saw you?" "Nope!" "Great! How about we go to the cafeteria and get some food to celebrate? They've got pizza today!" "Count me in!" Later, as they ate, Steve asked, "Notice any improvement so far?" "Not (sniff) really." "Hmmm...how much did you drink?" She looked at him, a bit worried. "What do you mean? (sniff) It was a pill." "...but...my friend said it was a liquid...are you sure you read the serial right? Lemme check the paper again." "Sure..." And as she handed it over, they both realized what had gone wrong. The serial was made up of 0's, 6's, and 9's. In the storage room, she had accidentally read it upside down. She took the wrong medicine. And suddenly, the intercom blared on. "ATTENTION! A DANGEROUS EXPERIMENTAL MEDICINE IS MISSING FROM THE MEDICAL DEPARTMENT'S STORAGE AREA! THIS IS AN EMERGENCY! ANYONE WITH ANY IDEA WHAT MAY HAVE HAPPENED TO IT MUST INFORM THE HEAD OFFICE IMMEDIATELY!" Sarah's jaw dropped. Her stomach rumbled like distant thunder. And then, she passed out. She awoke, hours later, in a white bed, with white sheets, in a white room. "...am I dead?" she asked, her eyes slowly opening. "No, but soon, you'll wish you were." Uh-oh. She recognized that voice. It was Dr. Hoover, the head of the laboratories. "Sir, I can explain--" "Yes, please do. I'm curious to know why you snuck into another department without clearance, entered their storage area without permission, stole one of their projects, and then took it without even checking what it was." "...I thought it was cold medicine." "...you have a cold?" "Well, I did, but...HEY! I'M CURED! But...I thought I took something dangerous..." "Look, what you took wasn't cold medicine...it was more than that. It was a wonder-drug. Taking it to get rid of a cold is like lighting a cigarette with napalm. That wonder-drug is capable of destroying viruses more effectively than anything else in the world today." "Then why hasn't it been released to the public?" "Because there's a catch." "...what's the catch?" she asked, dreading the answer. "Hmph...I don't need to explain it. The catch is obvious. Try to get out of your bed." Hesitantly, she did try. And she then realized that she wasn't even able to sit up. She began to panic. "OH, GOD! AM I PARALYZED?" "(sigh)...guess again." She tried to tilt her head forward, to see what was the matter, but even that proved impossible. For some reason, she couldn't move her joints, and she felt weighed down by some enormous weight. "...you really are useless..." muttered Dr. Hoover "Here, let me show you what you've done to yourself." She heard footsteps as he walked over to her, and then, she watched as he held out a mirror over her face. She looked into it. Her face looked normal enough, she thought. But then he started to tilt the mirror, and she started to see more of herself. She noticed that she had developed a second chin. Comprehension began to dawn. "I'm...FAT!" she yelped. "Well, you weren't exactly petite to begin with, but yes, you have gained weight." "How much?" "See for yourself." Harnesses lowered from the ceiling, wrapped themselves around her, and lifted her to her feet. She feared that however much weight she had gained would mess up her balance, and she was right. But so long as she stood still, she could stand up, but even that was a strain. "Look at that wall." directed Dr. Hoover. The wall slid apart to reveal a large mirror. Sarah gasped. She was wider than she was tall. Her arms were draped in so much flab that she could barely bend them. Her exposed breasts were each bigger than she had been just a little while ago, and lay heavily upon her belly. Speaking of which, her belly nearly reached the floor, and shook tremulously as she breathed. What little she could see of her legs was also enormously fattened. She awkwardly turned herself around, so that she could see herself at different angles. Her ass was, of course, also incredibly corpulent, and bounced around from the tiniest of movements. The numerous thick rolls of fat that lined her back were stacked neatly upon her expansive rump. "...eep..." she said eventually. "You weigh over a thousand pounds." "...what's HAPPENED to me?" "You have experienced the pill's only negative side-effect. It can cure diseases, it can keep you healthy, but it also makes you far, far too fat to enjoy any of those benefits. That pill causes your body to make use of energy infinitely more efficiently than it normally does, and it uses all the energy it gathers to keep the patient perfectly healthy, and makes your body a fortress to any foreign threats, even most viruses. But it uses energy TOO efficiently, and it ends up barely spending any. And so, all the excess energy is stored as fat, and lots of it." "What can I do?" "All you can do is wait it out. The change in your body isn't permanent. As long as you don't eat anything in the next three days, you shouldn't grow anymore." "THREE DAYS???" "It's the only way. Just from the small amount of food you ate at the cafeteria, you've gained around eight hundred pounds, and the pill's effects weren't even at full strength at that point. And while the pill will ensure that you're kept healthy even when you're that fat, if you gain too much more, the sheer weight of all that blubber mighty crush you." "Oh, God..." "Now, lay back down. I'm afraid we're going to have to keep you guarded, to ensure that you don't eat any more." "But I'm so hungry..." "I'm sorry, but it's the only way. Goodbye." He stepped out of the room, and as he walked away, he wiped his brow nervously. Because there was something he hadn't told her. She had not simply gotten fatter. She had also grown to be seven feet tall. He prayed she hadn't noticed. But as long as she didn't eat anything, it would be alright. That was the important thing. But if she did eat more, and if she did realize the increase in her size and strength, and if she liked the way it felt...disaster might strike. Meanwhile, back in her room, Sarah groaned. She didn't have a cold anymore, but now, she was starving to death. Not exactly an improvement, in her opinion. But then, she felt something irritating her back. She tried to scratch it, but her arms could obviously not reach. It was an odd feeling, and it took her awhile to realize that what she was feeling was an object stuck between the rolls of her flesh. Anxious to find out what it was, she swayed and shook her body with all her strength, causing her flab to jiggle wildly, and soon the object flew free from its fleshy prison. She turned around to see what it was. Her eyes widened. IT WAS A BISCUIT! It must have gotten stuck in there while she fattened up! She knew that she might regret it, but she was so hungry, and hey, it was just one biscuit. It wouldn't be the end of the world Outside Sarah's room, Dr. Hoover momentarily stopped striding through the wide, intimidating hallways. He needed to calm himself down. Nothing would go wrong. Sarah had no access to food And even if she did, she surely had at least enough self-control to resist temptation. His 'your sheer weight will crush you' comment had hopefully scared her straight. Just keep her away from food for three days. All food. Even a few crumbs would be enough to make her an obese titan, capable of going on a rampage, now that the pill had fully taken affect. And in that room, there was no food at all. So there was nothing to worry about. They had taken every precaution. They had hosed the food stains off of her, they had confiscated her clothes and everything edible within them...hell, they'd done everything short of checking between her folds-- ...Hoover completely froze. He didn't even breathe. A soul-crushing silence echoed through his momentarily shattered mind. THEY HADN'T CHECKED HER FOLDS. WHY HADN'T THEY CHECKED HER FOLDS? It was so obvious! Whole buffets could be stored between her rolls of flab! What if there was something in there? What if-- (CREAK) He spun around. What was that sound?... He ran back towards Sarah's room. But just as her door came into few, it snapped off its hinges quick as a bullet, and ricocheted violently across the corridor, narrowly missing him. And upon its removal, a massive, pillowy blob emerged from the opening. At the end of it was a huge, plump-fingered hand. It flailed around useless, before finally slamming down into the floor, cracking the tiles, digging its thick, powerful fingers deep into the surface. It then began to pull, and soon, the wall burst open like a dam, and rising from the rubble was the biggest human being ever to exist. Sarah had grown. She was around twenty feet tall, and her head brushed against the ceiling as she panted. And her proportions had changed just as drastically. Her head and hands had grown in size, but were still utterly dwarfed by the rest of her imposing form. She had grown even fatter, and, as tall as she was, her stomach now reached the floor, and lay upon it like a beached whale, and was so wide that it was wedged between the two groaning walls.. Her breasts were hulking globes, which nearly obscure her face, and which contributed to weigh her titanic belly down further as they perched upon it like soft boulders, jiggling, looking ready to fall and crush all who stood before them. Her legs were completely hidden by her belly, but her arms were now masses of flab with fingers at the end, and despite their power, seemed impossible for her to use effectively. But while her width and thickness was imposing, it was her height that truly struck Hoover with fear. She stood before him, hunched over, looming, like some ancient goddess, burdened only by her own awesome size. And as fat as she was, you could tell that she was strong enough to bear the weight. There really was something almost deity-like about her. As a scientist, and an atheist, Hoover nonetheless felt like he was in the presence of something mighty and holy. But just as his sense of wonder and awe was at its peak, she spoke unto him: "I'm really hungry." Hoover snapped back to his senses. Her voice was as naive, clueless, and nasally as ever. Her increased size hadn't even made it any deeper. The contrast of that voice coming from that frame was enough to make Hoover shake his head in disbelief...well, in MORE disbelief than he was already in. "Sarah, what the HELL have you done?" "I kinda ate a biscuit." "WE TOLD YOU NOT TO EAT ANYTHING!" "Yeah, but...well...I did." Hoover clenched his fists. "YOU IDIOT!" He then dove towards her, and began pounding against her angrily. His fists simply sank into her flesh. It was like trying to beat up a marshmallow. Nonetheless, it proved cathartic. Once he got the violence out of his system, he felt ready to once again try talking to the hulking idiot savant. "Alright, Sarah, listen to me...DON'T EAT ANYTHING ELSE. As you can see, the food has not only made you fatter, it's made you tall, and stronger. And the more you eat, the bigger you'll get, and the bigger you'll get, the hungrier you'll be. You see? It's an endless cycle. Not to mention how dangerous you'll be as you grow larger and larger!" "But seriously, sir...I'm REALLY hungry. I know it might not be great in the long run, but if it's all the same to you, I think I'll head for the cafeteria." "IT'S NOT ALL THE SAME TO ME! WEREN'T YOU LISTENING???" "Could you please step back, sir? I'm going to need to free up some room. It feels kinda nice to be this size, but I'm a bit too fat to get through her without busting down the walls. There's no one else around, right?" "Well, no, but--..." "Good, so no one'll get hurt. Now, if you'll just give me some room--" "NO! THIS IS MADNESS! YOU CAN'T--" She looked down at him like an all powerful goddess who was trying to be nice. "With all due, respect, sir...there isn't much you can do to stop me. I promise I won't hurt anyone, and at the size I'm at, there's no way I'll survive without getting more food. So run like hell." They stared at each other for awhile, and as he looked up at her, high in her wall of flesh, he knew that she'd won. He ran away. "Good call, sir!" she called out encouragingly. Then, once he was safely out of danger, she effortlessly knocked down all the walls around her with a sway of her expansive hips. Once she had freed up enough room, she grabbed a hold of her belly with her hands, and lifted it slightly off the ground. She then began her trek to the cafeteria. Send any comments, remarks, requests, etc. to firstname.lastname@example.org.