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Discussion in 'BBW/FA Board' started by Colonial Warrior, Jun 9, 2018.
Very well said!!!
I mostly agree with you @AmyJo1976. Sorry for the so very late reply!!!
My fat attraction doesn't come from anywhere. It's always been part of me. I always thought that fat people were so wonderful, even when I was a child. When people asked me, "What do you want to be, when you grow up?" I always wanted to answer, "A fat man." I was to scared to say that; so I would tell them something more conventional such as a doctor or a translator. When I grew up, I thought that fat guys with big bellies were the most attractive. I dated nothing but fat guys. I thought they looked so beautiful and cute and cuddly, and feeling a big fat belly pressed against me made me feel utterly ecstatic. I only dated a thin guy once and it was a disaster, because he didn't have the right body parts to satisfy me. Because I thought that fat guys were so beautiful, I decided to get fat, so that I could be one of the beautiful people. Where did this attraction to fat guys come from? I have no idea. It just is, always was and always will be me.
Very realistic way of thinking, thanks a lot, @Shotha !
I was born being attracted to fat people too, Shotha. Even as a little kid, whenever I played pretend games with people, I'd always want to be a fat version of whatever I was. I always felt like when I was skinny, I was wearing a suit or a mask, pretending to be somebody or something that I'm not.
Much happier and more relaxed now I understand all that.
I felt something similar. Even when I was thin, I identified as fat. I was fat on the inside. It was like being in the wrong body. I wouldn't say that it was dysphoria. It was like the feeling that people get about how they should have been a certain figure out of history or a certain animal. I always knew that one day I would do something to fix this mismatch between body and soul. I have a lot of friends, who are trans, and I often joke with them that I'm "transitioning into a polar bear." They don't find this offensive, because it really makes sense to them. "Polar bear" is a term used in the gay community to refer to fat, older men, who are going grey or white.
My fat attraction is more like I don’t find thin women sexually attractive at all. I used to be “in the closet”, but now I can be myself, I find larger (ss) women to be super sexy.
I didn't find a true attraction on thin women too, @Reddi! Even on the ladies who made Playboy Magazine's covers and centerfolds. I used to be a closet FA years ago and I suffered it a lot!
Nice story, thank you for sharing it with us, @loopytheone !
My fat attraction comes from the fact that I'm a big guy and I love big girls. I could not be happy with a girl smaller and tinyer than me. I need much to feel, to cuddle, to enjoy. Loads and loads of fat, much much woman. Huge (a)mounts of squishy, soft fat to get excited.
Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts, @lostinadaydream ! I'm a 5'7" and 350lbs SSBHM who likes SSBBWs who are from 5'11 to 6'4 tall and a weight of 350 to 450lbs. with the biggest arms I could find for the biggest and strongest of the hugs!!!
Glad to find more men with my same mind!!!
On this special day:
Today (January 18th), I just want to thank you from the deepest of my heart. On this day, someone very special to me was born in 1974. Someone who was a platonic love to me.
We met in college. Just a year after my first and only relationship, a girlfriend.
I don't want to tell anyone much about that relationship save it only lasted for a few months, we broke for several differences about our religious beliefs and against our will and it left me with strong feelings of guilt.
And now back to that special someone: We met after a Political Science class we took together. I was very outspoken at that class. Some of my classmates even considered me for a position at Puerto Rico's Senate or a House of Representatives.
To my then new friend and for the rest of the class, I looked self confident although my inner emotional problems with my own fatness, my self image, my interest in fat women, and my failures at finding love itself.
We were both best friends and later penpals after we left college. She was very financial successful at the extent she was able to buy a house on her own at the age of 30. She have an angel for getting into high places. Something this "fat demon" who is writing to you right now was not even the the fact she studied psychology and me business administration.
In 2004, after a long time without knowing about her, I received a Christmas card from her telling me she found someone and married to him. I didn't realize how much I love her until was too late. It was the first time my mother saw me crying for the love of a woman.
I just wanted to know nothing about love for a very long time. Two years for being more precise.
For me, love was a feeling that make people to suffer. Just the same way I thought of it in my senior high school years.
In 2006, my grandmother passed away. For me, she was a kind of fat activist. She always tried to repair my self esteem. She always told me to dress better to find a girlfriend. I used to wear in a very trashy fashion then.
I still feel repented of ignoring her wisdom. I threw some of my best years of my life to a waste basket.
In the period between 2004 and 2006, I was devoted to comic book magazines. I collected a lot of them, specially the ones from Green Lantern. So I then entered the Internet that year with my first email account just to make a fellowship with some CBM aficionados right there. My main interest was to become a professional CBM writer.
My second purpose is to learn how to draw CBM style just to forget my attraction to fat women. I tried to learn how to draw sexy thin women from tutorials made by pro artists like the late Michael Turner. (Aspen Comics' Fathom) and Ed Bennes.
Then I bought lots of magazines like Maxim, FHM, and American Curves. The later interested me more because all the models there are in the bodybuilding business and some of them has a heavy body frame.
When I get started to drawing, something happened to me. No matter how much harder I tried to draw thin women as sexy, my hands just betrayed me. I finished my practice drawing them more fleshy or making them an appearance like they have big bones.
Then I realized that I can't have a sincere desire to find beautifulness without fat itself. Perhaps when I get married I will find it if she have to lose weight for health reasons but not before.
Then I went myself on a quest for finding groups and organizations that support people with my same point of view.
Since the 90s, I learned from an adult magazine about the late Debra Perkins (aka Teighlor). Then the World's Fattest Model. I never had seen a person so big as her. I felt (and still feel) a fascination about her then 595 pounds. My interest shifted from then my preference for busty and big hip ladies to the super sized ones.
That decade was a full bloom for the FA movement in the US main land but not for its territories like PR. For us the only thing we found is a few plus sized beauty contests but not more spaces for solidarity specially for dealing with issues related with discrimination, health and wellness, and of course, fat admiration and dating.
To make this story a bit shorter, after long, sometimes frustrating trials, and a couple of sad loses, I have found a place I may consider a second home, the forums of Dimensions Magazine.
I used to have problems with drinking. In 1998, I quit from alcoholic drinks. A very hard process. Before that year, if I had felt the way I feel right now, I am surely was stuck in a bar drinking even my own tears mixed with white rum and a lot of beers. Trying to be myself as a clown. Thank God it was not the case.
Later I will explain the items of My Fat Attraction!!! But now, if you took some of your precious time to read all of my most personal stuff. I have to be very grateful to you. And if you understand what I feel, much more thanks to you!!!
@Colonial Warrior, thank you so much for sharing your very moving story. Life experiences like yours are why I think that this is one of the most important threads that I have ever seen on Dimensions Magazine. I hope that the discussion on this thread will continue for a long time.
Thank you for your words of kindness, @Shotha ! And also, thanks for understanding what I feel!
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