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Nocturnal Feelings of an FA (~Essay, True)

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UMBROBOYUM

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Nocturnal feelings of an F.A.
An Essay

By Jon Gong

Its 4:50 am in the morning and I’ve been up for some time pondering. I’ve been exploring my feelings and thinking about what it means to me that I am a person who loves big women. All my good friends know that I’m what some call an F.A. For as long as I can remember and probably since childhood I’ve always love the larger woman.

I used to have a babysitter that was a pleasantly plump, bottom-heavy girl. She was beautiful and had a cute smile on her face. I can remember cuddling up on her wide lap and nudging my head into her soft belly. I felt at home. It's funny looking back at it now, as I’ve never been with a woman before. I know what I want even though I’ve never felt what it is really all about.

I’m not too sure why I’m writing this here and now, except that it must be written. It must be written for those who think that no man would like them for being bigger than what the world tells them they must be. There are men who love big women for who they are. Thin and thick, there are men out there who will care for you.

In my experience as an F.A., I find myself almost always drifting my sight over to BBWs when I’m out and about. When I tell people whom I’ve recently met that I have an attraction to bigger women, they give a nervous laugh. Some have smiled at me with awe and others with disbelief. I wouldn’t have it any other way though, because that’s who I am. I’ve come to the building stones of my life right now and I can certainly tell you the “F.A” stones are there and holding strong. I’m proud to be who I am. No one is going to take that away.

Recently these last few months I have taken the time to learn drawing. I draw mostly BBWs because I enjoy it and I think others enjoy it as well. I’ve received a few comments from women telling me how my art makes them feel better about themselves. I can’t describe what that means to someone, as it is too grand to spell out with words. As an F.A, I feel that I’m helping those women figure out that they are beautiful. It is a very gratifying thing to say the least, especially to a novice artist.

I want women to know that as an F.A., as a man, and as a human being most of all, I find your curves infinitely attractive and beautiful. I want you to know that even though you have thunder thighs, I think that’s wonderful and great! It's more comforting for me to be with you, and the more of you the better it is! I want to tell you that it's hot and sexy to be “fat” without sounding shallow. If I could, I’d show you how much admiration and gratitude I have for you by cuddling with you for hours on end.

I can only imagine what joys it must be to cuddle with a BBW. Both of our hands around each other; I’d write my love for her with my fingers all over her curvy body, nothing unnoticed. Her warmth would keep me going in the winter and in the summer we’d lay outside underneath the stars with cushion and padding.

Most importantly, I want her to know that I am real, a proud person, and I love her not just for her personality, but for her body as well. I am Jon, and I’m almost 23 now (in a few days). I’m not perfect, but I do know this, I love big women and I want to say that yes, there are many, many, many more guys like myself out there who will accept you and adore you for being a BBW.

You don’t have to live under the fear of men not finding you sexy because you are “fat”. It’s quite the opposite. Live your life as you were meant to live it, big and beautiful. It's what I hope for you to discovery in your journey through life as I have.

It's 5:53 am now, and before I go I want to you to know that I love big women. I always have and I always will.

01/05/2008
 

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