"Oh, Hunter, darling, you can't be serious." His mother's face was a mask of dismay.
"Of course I'm serious."
"And just who is this girl? Some money grubbing socialist who is only interested in your inheritance, I'm sure. If she hasn't squeezed it out of you already."
"Mama, you know about Elodie. She's been my girlfriend since freshman year. She's not some random woman off the street."
"I know about her? That's a laugh. I only know anything about you from the pictures Iris sends. My own son is a stranger to me. You'll sign a pre-nup, of course."
"It's not like she's marrying me for money. She's going to be a lawyer. Her parents are politicians."
"Canadian politics are hardly comparable."
His mother sighed, pushing a long strand of bleached hair away from her face. "I wish you hadn't sprung this on us out of nowhere - I am going to be very busy this summer, I'll barely have time to plan a proper wedding."
Hunter steeled himself. "We want to do something small. Spend a weekend in Quebec City and do it there...just the two of us."
A moment of silence.
"Hunter! You couldn't. You wouldn't."
"Mama, I'm a grown man, I can do what I want."
"Twenty-one is not a grown man. You're a child. And you're about to throw everything your grandfather worked so hard for away for - for what? The first Canadian slut who let you touch her? Your father will have words about this."
Hunter had to sit on his hands so as to not flip his mother off over Skype.
"I'm sure he will, but if either of you refer to my future wife as a slut again, they'll be the last words you ever have with me." His throat was tight with rage.
His mother rattled her empty martini glass at someone off camera. One of the help, most likely.
"Don't be dramatic, darling. We just want what's best for you. But I'm sure you know better than your parents. You always have, haven't you?"
She smiled icily.
"Your face is getting so bloated, darling. That beard you're growing doesn't hide it. You look like you've put on a lot of weight, like you're not taking care of yourself up there alone. Do they not have gyms in New Brunswick?"
"It's Nova Scotia - and I'm sure our first one is only a few years away. We'll get our touch of civilization yet."
"You joke, but I worry about you. Stand up and let me see the rest of you."
"You know, I'd really rather not."
His mother took a sip from her freshly filled glass.
"Stand. Up. Hunter." Her voice was barely a whisper.
Hunter groaned inwardly. Even after all these years, even a country away, his mother still terrified him.
He stood up, wincing as his mother gasped.
"Hunter William! It's worse than I thought. You're enormous! How could you do this to yourself?"
"Jesus Christ, Mama," Hunter snapped, sitting down heavily. "Give it a rest, will you?"
"I only want you to be happy," his mother wheedled. "You can't propose to a woman looking like that, no matter how much money you have. A woman wants a husband, not a pet pig. I just don't want you to get your heart broken."
"It's not - she's not - Elodie's not like that," Hunter stammered.
His mother stirred her cocktail with a long, manicured finger.
"Darling, all women are like that. Don't fool yourself. I know she's quite a big girl, but even they have standards. If you don't think your sweet Elodie's repulsed by what you've let yourself become, you're delusional."
Hunter had reached the end of his patience. He worried he might cry, as pathetic as it was to admit. No one could get under his skin like Kathy Prescott.
"All right, we're done. Goodbye, Mama."
"Wait!" She held up a hand to the camera. "You'll be bringing her to Charleston, won't you? It'd break my heart for you to marry a woman I haven't met."
"Frankly, I'd rather drive us both off a cliff."
His mother put a hand to her chest. "How can you say such cruel things to your own mother? After all you've done to me already?"
Her eyes welled with crocodile tears.
"I look at the relationship Janine has with Iris, and it - it- it - it kills me that you won't let me have the same relationship with you."
"Yeah, well, I'm sure Aunt Janine doesn't call Iris a repulsive pig every time she talks to her."
His mother sniffled. "Iris keeps herself in lovely shape. I'm sure she doesn't have to."
***
Luna followed Hunter into the kitchen, watching him rinse the empty bowls before putting them in the dishwasher.
"That was amazing, thank you so much."
"Any time you want me to make you dinner, I'm more than happy to. Do you want dessert or anything? I didn't make something specific, but I tend to keep a lot of sweets around the house."
It might have been an embarrassing admission if Luna hadn't beamed at him.
"Well, what do you have?" She was curious about Hunter's inventory of guilty pleasures.
Hunter must have guessed something along the same lines, as he reddened and looked down briefly before meeting her eyes.
"Well, uh, I have some ice cream - a couple different flavors - some of those microwavable mug brownies, a few candy bars, and yesterday's leftover pastries, though there aren't that many of them left. Oh, and fruit - I have fruit."
Luna shrugged noncommittally. "I'll have what you're having."
A nervous smile flitted across Hunter's face. "You don't think it's weird that I'm planning to eat dessert too?"
Where did all this anxiety come from? "Not at all. Not ever. I like a guy with an appetite."
Hunter smiled a real smile this time.
"In that case, then - how about ice cream? I know it's cold, but -"
Luna cut him off. "Ice cream sounds great."
"I have rocky road, mint chip, cookie dough, chocolate, rainbow sherbet - I think that's it?"
Luna repressed a smile. A couple different flavors indeed.
"What's your favorite?"
"I like all of them." He laughed. "I don't know what to say, Luna, I'm a fat kid to my core."
Luna couldn't wait to for the opportunity to explore just how fat Hunter's core might be.
"Cookie dough?" Luna suggested. Hunter nodded.
"Let me just pull it out of the freezer."
He took the lid off the tub - not a small one by any means - revealing that it was half-eaten. Luna felt herself shiver involuntarily.
"You know, there's not a ton in there, we could probably just grab two spoons and share the rest," she suggested nonchalantly. "Saves us from dirtying two more bowls."
"Yeah, that works. Do you want to maybe - watch a movie or some TV or something?"
Luna nodded. "Absolutely."
She carried the tub of ice cream into Hunter's den, settling on his large, comfortable leather couch. There was a faux fireplace across the room that Hunter flicked on before he curled up next to her, the electric flame dancing charmingly.
He grabbed a throw blanket to wrap loosely around his belly - a habit he'd picked up as a kid that he still did without thinking, even when he was alone. Luna eyed the blanket for a moment before lifting it up and cuddling underneath it next to him. Her orangey-vanilla scent was intoxicating up close.
They watched some mindless show, neither of them particularly paying attention, as Luna kept her eyes on the tub of ice cream waiting for a sign that it had softened. After a few minutes, she picked it up and put a spoonful in her mouth.
"Ooh, this is great. I haven't seen this brand before."
Hunter nodded approvingly. "You wouldn't have. It's a local dairy, about twenty miles from here. They sell at the farmer's market sometimes, and I stock up when I can."
Luna dipped the other spoon in the container. "Do you want a bite?"
"You want to feed it to me?" Hunter hoped his voice didn't sound as high pitched to Luna as it did reverberating in his head. Poor Luna had no idea how close she was to fulfilling one of his deepest fantasies.
Luna shifted so she was hovering on her knees on the couch. "Only if you don't mind."
"I - no - I don't mind at all." He felt like a pervert. She was just trying to be sweet, did he have to go and make it sexual?
Luna leaned forward and slipped the spoon in his mouth. She pulled it out and replaced it with her lips as he swallowed.
"How was that?" she asked softly.
Hunter was certain he was beet red. "Uh, good, good."
"You want another bite?"
"Yeah, okay."
Luna put a bigger spoonful in his mouth this time, causing Hunter's cheeks to puff out a bit. He wondered if he looked ridiculous to her.
Luna was certain she hadn't been this turned on in years. She kissed Hunter's cheek as he swallowed.
"Are you full or do you want some more?"
Hunter's laugh was raspy. "Can I say both?"
Luna grinned and fed him another spoonful.
In less than ten minutes, Luna was scraping the bottom of the carton, and Hunter felt like he was about to pop in the best way possible. He couldn't remember the last time he'd been so full. Except maybe last night. And the time he'd gone out with Luna before that.
He looked down at his belly under the blanket. It looked huge.
"My belly looks huge," he observed out loud.
"Do you want me to um, massage it a little bit maybe? Help you digest?" Luna prayed she didn't sound too eager.
Part of Hunter worried she would put one hand on him and turn away in disgust. The other, hornier part wanted her to ravish him then and there.
"Um, yeah, that could be okay. Maybe I should change out of my jeans first."
Luna nodded. "Whatever makes you comfortable."
Hunter hoisted himself off the couch, unpleasantly surprised by how much his stomach was protruding. Or was it unpleasant?
He made a face. "I - uh - sorry I'm so goddamn fat. I hope you weren't joking about being into it."
Luna got up as well, in one limber motion.
"Can I get you to relax a little bit?" she asked gently, kissing his cheek again. "I told you, I'm into everything about you. Go get some comfortable clothes and some lotion and let me show you how into you I am."