I've been noticing something about the way I see big people and myself lately. As we all know, there is always a slew of negative media coverage of fat people, and it's hard to escape. The other day, I was waiting in line to pay for my milk and eggs and looked at the magazine racks around the cash register, all of the mags decrying some celeb or other's 'hideous' weight gain. And I looked at the images and thought 'geez, they're not fat!' At the most, they just looked like totally normal people to me, rather than the usual 'concentration camp victim' look of most female celebs or the 'musclehead' look of the guy celebs... both of which just look disgusting and pitiable to me. A few weeks ago there was one of those exploitive 'documentaries' about fat people that are basically hour-long weight-loss-surgery commercials, and I found myself thinking about the people who were featured, that I didn't consider them all that big. They just didn't look really fat to me. One of the guys was around 600lbs and the women were around 400. Even shows about people who are over 700lbs don't make me think the people are all that big. Whenever I've tried to estimate a fat person's weight, I always guess low. A lot low. Like more than 100lbs low, often more. I'm around 250, myself.. have been big ever since an autoimmune problem in my late teens and early 20's forced me to take meds that caused major weight gain and messed up my metabolism.. prednisone, valproic acid, antidepressants, pain meds. And lately, even though I know I'm big logically, I just don't really see myself as all that fat. I'm only 5'4", so I know I am, but I see other women who are a lot bigger than I am, and I just don't feel as big as I really am. It actually surprises me when I have to shop for clothes... an infrequent event since I loathe clothes shopping and make the things I have last until they're practically falling apart... I'm mildly autistic, and have Sensory Integration Disorder, which means some of my senses are amped up to the point of pain. One thing I can't handle is tight, binding clothing, so I buy my clothes a few sizes too big. I can fit into a 2x, but I usually buy a 4x or 5x in order to feel comfortable in my clothes and avoid a sensory meltdown. I sleep in 8x t-shirts. When I have to shop for clothes, it kind of surprises me.. Kind of forces me to realize I'm bigger than I think I am. Does anyone else find this? Anyone else see themselves so differently than they really are? Anyone else look at a person that everyone else considers hugely fat and still not think that person all that big?