And that's OK. The fact that you're big but want a toned partner is totally fine; I love fat on a man but not on myself. The issue of physical attraction is my current dilemma: where in my priority list do physical attraction and intimacy rank? My husband ticks so many boxes but not that one. No one can answer that question but myself. I just wanted to know if I should be more inclusive in my preferences or if that might just be something I can't help.