ODFFA's Antics & Oddities Thread

Discussion in 'BHM/FFA' started by ODFFA, Dec 19, 2017.

  1. Dec 19, 2017 #1

    ODFFA

    ODFFA

    ODFFA

    Well-Known Member

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    Hey!

    This thread was inspired by how dead the Poetry Thread is, and the conflict between my desire to share poems and my guilt over spamming quiet threads with craploads of OD-stuff.

    So I created a thread for that specific purpose! Welcome!

    I'll be sharing all sorts. Mostly poems and musings. They won't all be dark, I promise :p And please don't be discouraged from sharing your own here, and/or sparking up a conversation.
     
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  2. Dec 19, 2017 #2

    ODFFA

    ODFFA

    ODFFA

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    Blue Screen Of Anxiety

    New acquaintance detected!
    Optimism level: -10
    Commence operation: “Appear Normal”
    Conversation cache: low
    Select tone: semi-informal

    Bug report:
    Week 1: rapport downloaded 50%
    Week 2: conversation cache depleted
    Week 3: virus detected! “Dyspraxia”
    Week 4: Self-efficacy: deleted
    Age-appropriation: failed
    Ineptitudes: logged
    Attempt to quarantine? Yes [panic]please, for the love of God![/panic]

    External input devices:
    Language: infantilisation
    Eyes: look down from increased height
    Voices: frequent lilt, pitying, trite
    Smiles: saccharine, bemused, tight

    External message – decoded:
    Error #3019 “We think it’s cute how you try to sound grown-up
    and try to stand tall in the sinking sand
    and try to look composed and calm and graceful
    considering all the ups from which you hang.”


    Message: internalised
    Body: increase heart rate, commence quiver
    Brain: engage dissonance
    Self: Error! Unknown
    Does not compute
    Could not deliver




    View attachment copyrighted.png
     
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  3. Dec 19, 2017 #3

    Hozay J Garseeya

    Hozay J Garseeya

    Hozay J Garseeya

    Rooder. Crooder. Neuter.

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    This is pretty much everything I've ever wanted out of life.
     
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  4. Dec 19, 2017 #4

    djudex

    djudex

    djudex

    I'm out

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    As a former self-centric thread starter I wholly endorse this effort! :D
     
  5. Dec 19, 2017 #5

    ODFFA

    ODFFA

    ODFFA

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    Heh! I hope you will still feel the same about my very generous oversharing down the line. But your enthusiasm means a lot :)

    Well, thank you for the support, fellow narcissist! :p I've always loved the title of yours.
     
  6. Dec 20, 2017 #6

    Tad

    Tad

    Tad

    mostly harmless

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    Excellent stuff, thank you so much for sharing!
     
  7. Dec 24, 2017 #7

    ODFFA

    ODFFA

    ODFFA

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    Regret: A Monologue

    Ego, please have mercy!
    I was trying to ameliorate.
    I know I did the opposite,
    served only to exasperate.

    The last memory we now have
    is of my being overbearing,
    is the shame of irritation caused,
    is regret. I was too daring.

    I was hoping to give one last gift,
    a fond and grateful ending.
    Instead, I made a fool of us.
    Now to wounds we will be tending.


    Subconscious, it is difficult.
    I am shamed by your indulgence.
    I was hesitant at this, the risk
    of even one last kind divulgence.

    Our forebears taught me to be harsh;
    I am tempted there once more.
    Though, you give me pause, for cruel rebuke
    will not morale ensure.

    We both must bear indignity.
    We hang by the same tether.
    [FONT=&quot]I will swallow down the bitter blame
    so we may take the blow together.

    [/FONT]
     
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  8. Jan 1, 2018 #8

    ODFFA

    ODFFA

    ODFFA

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    Looking back over the past and understanding the realities of my life as they currently stand, I realise this year will probably have some fresh hell in store.

    So, this is my theme for 2018:
    [ame]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ea1Tw4mwX7s[/ame]
     
  9. Jan 3, 2018 #9

    Yakatori

    Yakatori

    Yakatori

    Hard to say, really...

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    If this is wrong, then I don't want to be right; nowhere else this would feel as appropriate:


    Panic Attack - Elana Stone

    [ame]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j1YTEqRb7dw[/ame]
     
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  10. Jan 7, 2018 #10

    ODFFA

    ODFFA

    ODFFA

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    Absolutely spot-on.
     
  11. Jan 9, 2018 #11

    hommecreux

    hommecreux

    hommecreux

    Attack of the twinkies.

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    Into programming much ODFFA?
    Might as well put that second post on a loop and throw in an internal fatal error or two and call that my life.

    haha.

    oh right..... fml
     
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  12. Feb 23, 2018 #12

    ODFFA

    ODFFA

    ODFFA

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    It's been a week and I've heard no peep from my former boss. So, I'm daring to become cautiously optimistic that I will now be left alone.

    Thanks again for the advice and support, everyone! You guys are awesome :)
     
  13. Feb 25, 2018 #13

    Tad

    Tad

    Tad

    mostly harmless

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    Glad that worry is lifting!
     
  14. Feb 27, 2018 #14

    ODFFA

    ODFFA

    ODFFA

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    A basketful of freedom
    hung heavy on her arm.
    Laden only with care,
    if lacking in charm.

    “A red rose I bring
    to ward off any guilt,
    Goodwill and liberty
    form the patches of this quilt.”

    She laid it down gently
    as she spoke these last words.
    Then, a frustrated reply,
    or had she misheard?

    Meant only to free,
    to bring joy and relief.
    Yet with sorrow she’d conclude
    that her gift had caused grief.

    Regret came in waves
    at its snappish behest:
    “I have warned you before!
    Let Time do the rest.”

    Days merged into months
    filled with one single prayer:
    “Let my intentions be known
    to have contained only care.”


    View attachment RegProtected.png
     
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  15. Mar 1, 2018 #15

    ODFFA

    ODFFA

    ODFFA

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    My name drips venomously from the tongue
    That covertly cuts me down to size
    My own mouth clamours, gasps for words
    Too illusive to be verbalised

    Her eyes examine haughtily
    My essence, curled into a ball
    Her bellowing words compress my soul
    Invisible now, impossibly small

    I ache to scream, but second-guess
    And guess a third, a hundredth time
    My doubts extend her callous grip
    I sink into the pain as her hubris climbs

    This creature -- never satisfied,
    Never still, never appeased --
    This inexorable nemesis
    Would bring me daily to my knees

    It seems I am nothing, she is all
    The rising of the sun retells
    I try to disabuse myself
    But no logic this great sense dispels

    Her voice is never far away
    My own narrative to smother
    In every stranger’s countenance
    I see the face of Behemother
     
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  16. May 5, 2018 #16

    ODFFA

    ODFFA

    ODFFA

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    Last edited: May 5, 2018
  17. Jun 10, 2018 #17

    ODFFA

    ODFFA

    ODFFA

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    My mother embarrassed the shit out of me in public at a family gathering by telling everyone about my suspicions of being on the autism spectrum. These are people I don't trust to understand the intricacies of it, so I would never bother confiding in them. And she knows that. Hell, she's asked me to keep some of her secrets from them before. In fact, she glibly mentioned it during a conversation that went something like, "I know this kid who comes to our home to visit his grandma. He's autistic, and he's... so... strange."

    The "Odette is, too," came flying out of her mouth, along with a shit-eating grin. That is just every level of fucked up. Any doubt I had about her having NPD has now been obliterated.
     
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  18. Jun 11, 2018 #18

    Xyantha Reborn

    Xyantha Reborn

    Xyantha Reborn

    - Actually Very Tame!

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    Blegh, that sucks. But - i mean...at least that means she isn't embarrassed by it/you? (trying to think of a positive spin on a shitty situation, because i hate it when people do stuff like that too)
     
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  19. Jun 11, 2018 #19

    Dr. Feelgood

    Dr. Feelgood

    Dr. Feelgood

    intellectual nerd

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    And you know it will happen again. So practice smiling sadly and quietly saying, "The apple never falls far from the tree, does it?"
     
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  20. Jun 11, 2018 #20

    Tad

    Tad

    Tad

    mostly harmless

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    That is so many levels of rough :( sorry that you have had to -- and continue to have to -- deal with that.
     
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