ODFFA's Antics & Oddities Thread

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ODFFA

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May 29, 2012
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Location
Cape Town, South Africa
Hey!

This thread was inspired by how dead the Poetry Thread is, and the conflict between my desire to share poems and my guilt over spamming quiet threads with craploads of OD-stuff.

So I created a thread for that specific purpose! Welcome!

I'll be sharing all sorts. Mostly poems and musings. They won't all be dark, I promise :p And please don't be discouraged from sharing your own here, and/or sparking up a conversation.
 

ODFFA

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Joined
May 29, 2012
Messages
1,456
Location
Cape Town, South Africa
Blue Screen Of Anxiety

New acquaintance detected!
Optimism level: -10
Commence operation: “Appear Normal”
Conversation cache: low
Select tone: semi-informal

Bug report:
Week 1: rapport downloaded 50%
Week 2: conversation cache depleted
Week 3: virus detected! “Dyspraxia”
Week 4: Self-efficacy: deleted
Age-appropriation: failed
Ineptitudes: logged
Attempt to quarantine? Yes [panic]please, for the love of God![/panic]

External input devices:
Language: infantilisation
Eyes: look down from increased height
Voices: frequent lilt, pitying, trite
Smiles: saccharine, bemused, tight

External message – decoded:
Error #3019 “We think it’s cute how you try to sound grown-up
and try to stand tall in the sinking sand
and try to look composed and calm and graceful
considering all the ups from which you hang.”


Message: internalised
Body: increase heart rate, commence quiver
Brain: engage dissonance
Self: Error! Unknown
Does not compute
Could not deliver




View attachment copyrighted.png
 

djudex

I'm out
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As a former self-centric thread starter I wholly endorse this effort! :D
 

ODFFA

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Location
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This is pretty much everything I've ever wanted out of life.
Heh! I hope you will still feel the same about my very generous oversharing down the line. But your enthusiasm means a lot :)

As a former self-centric thread starter I wholly endorse this effort! :D
Well, thank you for the support, fellow narcissist! :p I've always loved the title of yours.
 

ODFFA

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Cape Town, South Africa
Regret: A Monologue

Ego, please have mercy!
I was trying to ameliorate.
I know I did the opposite,
served only to exasperate.

The last memory we now have
is of my being overbearing,
is the shame of irritation caused,
is regret. I was too daring.

I was hoping to give one last gift,
a fond and grateful ending.
Instead, I made a fool of us.
Now to wounds we will be tending.


Subconscious, it is difficult.
I am shamed by your indulgence.
I was hesitant at this, the risk
of even one last kind divulgence.

Our forebears taught me to be harsh;
I am tempted there once more.
Though, you give me pause, for cruel rebuke
will not morale ensure.

We both must bear indignity.
We hang by the same tether.
[FONT=&quot]I will swallow down the bitter blame
so we may take the blow together.

[/FONT]
 

ODFFA

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Messages
1,456
Location
Cape Town, South Africa
Looking back over the past and understanding the realities of my life as they currently stand, I realise this year will probably have some fresh hell in store.

So, this is my theme for 2018:
[ame]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ea1Tw4mwX7s[/ame]
 

Yakatori

Hard to say, really...
Joined
Mar 22, 2011
Messages
2,417
Location
New York
"So, this is my theme for 2018:"
If this is wrong, then I don't want to be right; nowhere else this would feel as appropriate:


Panic Attack - Elana Stone

[ame]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j1YTEqRb7dw[/ame]
 

ODFFA

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Messages
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Location
Cape Town, South Africa
It's been a week and I've heard no peep from my former boss. So, I'm daring to become cautiously optimistic that I will now be left alone.

Thanks again for the advice and support, everyone! You guys are awesome :)
 

ODFFA

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Location
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A basketful of freedom
hung heavy on her arm.
Laden only with care,
if lacking in charm.

“A red rose I bring
to ward off any guilt,
Goodwill and liberty
form the patches of this quilt.”

She laid it down gently
as she spoke these last words.
Then, a frustrated reply,
or had she misheard?

Meant only to free,
to bring joy and relief.
Yet with sorrow she’d conclude
that her gift had caused grief.

Regret came in waves
at its snappish behest:
“I have warned you before!
Let Time do the rest.”

Days merged into months
filled with one single prayer:
“Let my intentions be known
to have contained only care.”


View attachment RegProtected.png
 

ODFFA

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Location
Cape Town, South Africa
My name drips venomously from the tongue
That covertly cuts me down to size
My own mouth clamours, gasps for words
Too illusive to be verbalised

Her eyes examine haughtily
My essence, curled into a ball
Her bellowing words compress my soul
Invisible now, impossibly small

I ache to scream, but second-guess
And guess a third, a hundredth time
My doubts extend her callous grip
I sink into the pain as her hubris climbs

This creature -- never satisfied,
Never still, never appeased --
This inexorable nemesis
Would bring me daily to my knees

It seems I am nothing, she is all
The rising of the sun retells
I try to disabuse myself
But no logic this great sense dispels

Her voice is never far away
My own narrative to smother
In every stranger’s countenance
I see the face of Behemother
 

ODFFA

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Joined
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Messages
1,456
Location
Cape Town, South Africa
My mother embarrassed the shit out of me in public at a family gathering by telling everyone about my suspicions of being on the autism spectrum. These are people I don't trust to understand the intricacies of it, so I would never bother confiding in them. And she knows that. Hell, she's asked me to keep some of her secrets from them before. In fact, she glibly mentioned it during a conversation that went something like, "I know this kid who comes to our home to visit his grandma. He's autistic, and he's... so... strange."

The "Odette is, too," came flying out of her mouth, along with a shit-eating grin. That is just every level of fucked up. Any doubt I had about her having NPD has now been obliterated.
 

Xyantha Reborn

- Actually Very Tame!
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Blegh, that sucks. But - i mean...at least that means she isn't embarrassed by it/you? (trying to think of a positive spin on a shitty situation, because i hate it when people do stuff like that too)
 

Dr. Feelgood

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And you know it will happen again. So practice smiling sadly and quietly saying, "The apple never falls far from the tree, does it?"
 
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