Dear universe/ God,
This week feels strange- like some weird time where the line between present and past is particularly thin. I know it's probably just my over active imagination, but somehow it feels like this situation is some kind of payback for failing to appreciate someone in the past. I guess everything is useful life experience and I wouldn't necessarily want to rewrite history, but maybe that day back four years ago, I'd never have used the word 'only' next to his name. I know I didn't mean it in a bad way, but it does seem like karma kicking me in the teeth when now I love him so much it hurts. Ironic really- I couldn't see what was there in front of me!
Please let it not be too late. I almost hope my random outspokenness and honesty made him think- and maybe if he does guess how I feel that maybe, when he is over whatever is preoccupying him and making him so distant from everyone, we might be close and share something. I wish I could stop worrying it is more than the work stress he claims is all that's bothering him. I miss him already and the next week looks so long. I wish I'd realised back then, years ago how special he is and appreciated this spark I feel with him. Hindsight sucks!
Overthoughtful and emotional librarygirl
