Dear Winter;
Just a quick note, to give a little personal feedback about this year. First of all, I know that last year you were a bit messed up because of that thing with Nina, and really weren’t feeling yourself. We are all glad that you are feeling more yourself this year, and we’re looking forward to having a good time with you.
But here is the thing: you’ve been coming on a bit strong this year. If you think back to other years, sometimes you show up sooner than others, usually you start with sprinkling a few snow kisses a couple of times first, sometimes you even do that, wink, and then leave us for a bit. This year you showed up and right away it was the sort of focused, prolonged, attention that can make it hard for us to walk or operate heavy machinery. I know, I know, sometimes you feel if a little bit is good, more is better. And sometimes that can be fine – we all remember and still talk about that year that you just kept showering us with attention until we could barely move, and it sure was a memorable year. But a bit of ramp up is nice, let’s us get back into the flow of things, you know?
And then there is the matter of timing. I hear that yesterday you blew Toronto until it couldn’t see, which can be pretty exciting, but less so during the afternoon rush hour. If you want to show us all you’ve got, how about doing it during the night, when we can lie back and enjoy it, and be a little recovered by morning?
And speaking of all you’ve got, normally in December it is mostly about showering us with the snow kisses. Oh, sure, you might be getting some hard cold just starting, letting us know what’s coming, but that is mostly in play, just a little prod to get us in the mood, to make sure we’re ready, then back to the gentle snow. And you give us a white Christmas and a promise of outdoor skating, and only then do things start getting a little more rough – but by then we’re ready for your big, hard, -30 degree weather.
Yesterday we saw -17C, and we were all like “Whoa, that came up all of a sudden, wasn’t quite ready for that. Good reminder that we’ll need to go get the protective gear out soon, and we need to relax and get ready for it. But this morning we woke up to you pounding us with -27. Dude, that is huge, and we weren’t ready, we so weren’t ready. This is why you get a bad reputation, no matter how many white Christmases and long outdoor skating seasons and beautiful ski days you deliver, the pain of days like today will linger, and will be what people remember. This is why you’re going to deliver a winter wonderland some day in February and wonder why everybody is staying inside instead of coming out to play. They’ll remember what you did today, and be all “That Winter is such a jerk! -27 with no real preparation, that hurts! I’m not trusting him again!
So no complaining if people jet off to have an affair with Summer. Summer can be fickle too, but Summer doesn’t deliver mornings like this one. That cold, that fast – that’s not cool, dude, not cool at all.